(Closed) Why is New York so DIFFICULT?!!!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah there is no way anyone is talking about what you were wearing. I walk past crazy people every day, a girl in a dress is not going to be a topic of conversation.

I hear you about the smiling thing. When I moved from Florida I was in major shock (now when I go home all the smiling strangers scare me a little).

The cab driver thing is hilarious. I get mad when they aren’t talking on their bluetooth and want to chat me up.

People are not mean in New York they just have their own sh*t to do. If you ask someone for directions I bet they will be helpful, they just don’t worry about putting on a nice face to make you feel better.

Post # 18
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee

@Future MrsB:  I’m sayin’! After a trip, the last thing I want to do is chat with a cabbie. I just give him my address, tell him the route to take and close the partition. Wait? That’s not normal?? To the OP, trust me, no one is staring at you. No matter how weird, out of it, different you are, there is someone more different and we are NOT looking at that person. That’s why celebs love NYC. We always pretend we don’t give a crap and ignore them when we see them in Soho (it also could be that we don’t recognize them). I do agree that it would be weird to see someone smile at me out of the blue tho’ Sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. Have you gone sightseeing? Just walk around and try not to bump into anyone ๐Ÿ˜‰ That would raise hackles….oh, and 5th Ave is swarming with folks, it’s hard to really window shop there ๐Ÿ™

Post # 19
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@jayebaby:  Central Park is totally safe (and gorgeous!)

Post # 20
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@jayebaby:  You can’t truly hate New York until you’ve explored more. Go to the west village – it’s a more quiet neighborhood, a good spot to watch for famous people on the sidewalks (I’ve seen plenty of celebrities there), and not nearly as crowded. Chelsea is a good neighborhood to explore. Check out the museums and the high line. There’s just so much to see and do!

Central Park is absolutely safe. Most places in Manhattan are safe, especially in the daytime. Just use caution like you would anywhere else.

Post # 21
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jayebaby:  Central Park is totally safe! So is Prospect Park in Brooklyn…. Brooklyn in general has a slightly slower vibe than Manhattan – more families, less rushing around. You might want to come out here and explore! Cobble Hill and Park Slope are both full of coffee shops where moms and kids hang out and play and playgrounds and so on. Take your kid to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens for a stroll… and then the Children’s Museum further down Eastern Parkway! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@jayebaby:  Just stick to going to Central Park in the daytime.  Yes bad stuff has occured there but be aware of your surroundings like you would elsewhere in NYC and you should be fine.

Post # 23
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I lI’ve new York !!! I know how u feel i when there for thanksgiving last year and stayed therefor 4 days people is not very friendly is a very busy city !!  everybody is alway in such a rush , I will not care about the others I don’t think they pay attention  to u they are just so busy !!! I lOve this city I am dying to go back and I will be the happiest person if my husband tells m. One day ” we are moving to new  York ” but he hated he lived there for 5 yrs and he said the he  likes the country better !!! Crazy !

Post # 24
Member
3358 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Future MrsB:  just anything.  Same thing that you talk to your store cashier or other random service person about. How’s your day going?  Been anywhere interesting today?  Seen anything good? etc etc 

Post # 25
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

If it makes you feel better, the only reason I’d look twice at a non-crazy person on the street is if I like their outfit ๐Ÿ™‚

What neighborhood are you staying in?

Post # 26
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

On warmer days, Central Park is the best place in the city! There are tons of families picnicing on the Great Lawn and strolling around. The parks are my favorite part of living here. I love Tompkins Square Park, Washington Square Park, Madison Square Park (Shake Shack mmm), Riverside Park, the piers on the West side, Carl Schurz Park on the Upper East Side and I’m sure there are more. 

I hope you enjoy your time here! It’s a different way of living but can be pretty great, especially the feeling of discovering things. Back when I lived in a large city where you had to drive everywhere, there was no spontaneity. You decided where you were going to go, and you got in your car and drove there. Here, you can walk through different neighborhoods with all different vibes, come across a street fair, pop into an ice cream shop randomly, find some amazing piano player in the park, etc. You do have to get used to the idea that strangers generally don’t smile and chit chat too much, but there’s much to enjoy here!

Post # 27
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

It is a cultural difference that just takes getting used to. I live in DC and work with my NY office quite a bit. I often have tourists say to me all of the time (because I have the small town smile and make small talk attitude if I am feeling nice) “You are so nice! Why is everyone here so mean?”. People aren’t mean, it is just the accepted behavor in that region.

For example, in DC there are fairly strict rules about dress– skirts should come to your knee and should be fitted, shoes should be flat, blouses should be modest and cover your bra and clevage, and you should always have a cardigan. Also, color is typically avoided. My officemates from Philly constantly comment how boring and conservative we look, but that is how we were trained to dress. Your sundress would totally stick out here because it was fashionable and pretty, both of which are taboo in DC on a work day :-).

We also don’t talk on the metro, walk on the left side of the escalator, and tend to be texting and listening to our iPods while we walk. If you try to chat with someone on the metro, they wouldn’t start a conversation because that isn’t what you do. You read your blackberry. It isn’t you, it is just the accepted culture of where you are.

Post # 28
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

And YES! Central Park is completely safe ๐Ÿ™‚  New York isn’t dangerous like it used to be.  Guiliani cleaned it up pretty well, I just think it’s hard to get rid of the reputation.  Today its cold and gloomy, but if you’re still around when it gets a little warmer next week, I’d highly recommend taking a blanket, snack and a good book.  One of my favorite things to do! 

And as far as people looking at you strangely for wearing a dress, I ASSURE you, they weren’t.  I just think your feelings made you self-concious. Those people in “black coats” were probably just in their work attire.  The weather here has been crazy lately and I don’t know how to dress anymore Undecided.  A couple of days ago when it was 70 degrees out, I saw tons of girls dressed how you described.

I was born in the city, grew up 20 minutes away, have been working here since college and will be moving in with my fiance after the wedding. I have a love/hate relationship with the city.  People here are definitely self-oriented and it gets on my nerves sometimes andunfortunately, you can’t beat ’em so you have to join ’em.  

Post # 29
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Another thing is that there’s a whole different dresscode between NYC and SoCal. In NYC I feel like 90% of people wear black daily and wear more professional outfits.

It’s just one of the things my friends still talk about when they visited from San Diego.

Post # 31
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It also depends on the cabby you get.  Many are recent immigrants and don’t speak English that well anyway, so that might have been it.  I have had plenty of chatty cabbies though.

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