Post # 1
Is anyone else dealing with every detail of their dream wedding being shot down? I have been struggling with every single thing about the entire wedding process, among MANY other things I have had to deal with along the way. My coordinator is not good at communicating with me. The florist she put me in touch with is not getting my vision, her style is looking very late 80’s. The contact for a cake never returned any of my emails (calling is not really an option as I am in a completely different time zone) so I had to find another on my own. And now the person in charge of alcohol is telling me I can’t have a punch bar because it’s too ‘self-serve’. I feel like everything I dreamed about having for my wedding is not happening and I’m starting to get really bummed out about it. Yes, I know I am marrying my fiance and that is the most important thing. I wouldn’t care how we got married as long as it felt like us and I knew people enjoyed it. But as an event planner myself, I have high expectations and put a lot of pressure on myself and have been so excited to plan this day and have all my ideas and details come together. And I feel like I am bing pushed into this generic wedding that is going to be just like all the other weddings the vendors have ever done. Like it”s just this formula they have and they aren’t willing to step out of the box and work with my ideas. And my ideas are not that rediculous and outlandish. Is is really so outrageous to have cape codders instead of apple martinis? Why do I have to have things I don’t like at the wedding because its “what they always do”. I’m so frusterated because I feel like I have had to compromise EVERYTHING for these vendors. AND do everything for them, I even had to source containers for the florist and have them shipped to my destination. I feel like I am paying these people for someone else’s wedding.
Right from the beginning I had concerns about a destination wedding because I worried about not being able to meet with vendors, see locations, etc. But I really had no option as my fiance and I’s families are from very different places and it wasn’t fair to ask one side of family friends to fly so far. I expressed all these concerns to my coordinator who assured me they would do everything possible to make the wedding what I envisioned. Apparently they are doing all that in secret because they never gets back to me and keeps suggesting all these things that are so nowhere near anything we have discussed. It’s like each time we do talk (rarely) they have lost my file and just start from scratch. I have constant headaches from all this stress. And I’m really upset that I hired a coordinator to lessen my stress, and all that they are doing is adding to it, which is making me not be able to eat. At least I’ll be skinny at the wedding.
Post # 3
It’s hard, really hard. But don’t worry things will work out, you can even look around and find other vendors you like.
I know of a great coordinator/planner you can use, her name is tiffany, here’s her website http://www.pictureperfectevent.webs.com.
Maybe she can help you find a new vision which i sure will be just as lovely if not more than the last!!
Post # 4
unfortunately I am locked into a contract and have already paid a deposit. If I could switch I would though. There isn’t a whole lot of selection at my destination (according to who the coordinators will work with) so I am a bit stuck.
Post # 5
Considering how much stress your coordinator is causing you and the fact that she isn’t helping, why not swallow the deposit and find somebody else? Or coordinate yourself as you said you were already really doing all of the coordination! I don’t think working with your coordinator will ever be a good thing and it sounds like things can only get worse as you get closer to the wedding. Do you even trust her to be a good DOC after you’ve planned the whole wedding?
Post # 6
If you can’t get the coordinator to do what you want, I’d suck it up and lose the deposit. That’s what we did with our photographer when that didn’t work out. It really sucked to lose the money, but it was worth it in the long run. Good luck!
Post # 7
I think the question would be where exactly is your destination wedding? I think it would be tremendously helpful if you posted here, and on other wedding sites to see if you could find other brides who were married at that location. I have absolutely no idea if your coordinator is correct and there are limited options for wedding vendors. But if I were in your shoes it would stress me out less if I knew that for a fact and accepted it as a consequence of my dream wedding in a beautiful location. Some brides may have experiences with better vendors in that site. Good luck!
Post # 8
Unfortunately, If I get rid of my coordinator I lose my venue and photographer (which I have also paid deposits for), and I only have 2 months until the wedding. It’s just not an option at this point.
I’ve just gotten so much attitude and negativity from everyone I contact about the wedding. No one seems the slightest bit happy about their job (or that you are prepared to hand them a huge chunk of money) and acts like I its a giant imposition that I even asked them. WTF aren’t people involved in the wedding industry supposed to pretend to be happy for you so you overpay for their services? I guess at least I don’t have to worry about tips.
Post # 9
I’m sorry about everything you’re going through. It’s so funny -how great we all think that this wedding planning stuff is going to be. I’ve found in my 13 months of planning that it has been a hunormous freakin’ nightmare. Ugh. Ninety days until I marry the love of my life -then this wedding drama is ova!
My coordinator was royally pissing me off for awhile too. I let her know how upset I was, how disappointing she was making my experience and how she had pushed me to the point of not wanting to work with her anymore. She straightened up REALLY quickly for fear of my complaints rising any higher. Now, I’m getting my butt kissed (a much better alternative than what I was experiencing before).
I always speak up. Sometimes it’s a bit much but I think that its better than bottling things up. NO ONE wants a bad review. With all of these online resources, I think most vendors understand (or should) that you don’t want “bad press” from one bride -it doesn’t stay with one bride.