Post # 1
One of my co -workers got engaged over the weekend and is so excited (as she should be). She and I talked about wedding things std, venues, rings (carat, cost ect), but not once did she mention how happy she was to find the man of her dreams. So today we were talking and she told me that she was leaving early to go get her ring appraised. And as she was there talking I started to feel a little akward. As much as I love my ring (and I love it), but I was never that eager to go out and get it appraised. I understand for insurance reasons why its so important, but why is that important right now? I was engaged for several months without a ring and honestly he could have given me a soda top and I would felt equally as excited. The fact that we were both looking forward to growing old together was all that mattered.
It made me wonder did somehow along the path some of us are more excited about getting a ring instead of enjoying a lifetime with someone your soulmate? Or am I overthinking things?
Post # 3
just off the top of my head (giving her the benefit of the doubt), maybe don’t judge her as being totally materialistic and excited about “wedding” not a “marriage.”
I don’t know about getting giddy for appraisals, but it just happened so maybe she’s just excited for every little thing?
I totally get where you’re coming from, but maybe she’s just not ok with opening up her feelings ya know? I can’t see talking to someone in the coffee room and hearing they got engaged and her saying “yea, i’m so happy to find my one true love and we’ll grow old together!” when speaking to coworkers. But if she knows you’re engaged and wants to talk wedding things, then she might just be excited to get to talk about all that stuff.
Now..yea, some people do make it way too much about the ring or proposal or wedding and forget what’s important here. But I don’t know if I’d jump to that conclusion for her.
oo..and I don’t have anything super insightful to say about why the ring is important. SO and I have our own reasons, but the important thing is that we’ll be starting our lives together.
Post # 4
The first thing I asked was “is it non-conflict?” He said “yes baby- It’s Canadian diamond I did my homework Briks was one of the founders of the Kimberly Process, so no it’s not a blood diamond” that’s about the only thing I actaully cared about in terms of the ring.
Post # 5
I’m thinking the only reason I’d be excited for an appraisal if I KNEW my So got a really good deal on it, so I’d be excited to see its actual value. But, who knows…
Post # 6
Well my ring is important because the diamond was my husbands grandmothers, and the story of how his mom took the ring off her hand and my Darling Husband reset her ring with a sapphire really tells what kind of guy he is, (and i just love my ring) but Yes in the beginning it was all about ahhh im engaged. i didn’t run out for an appraisal but only because he said he had one and just had to give me the paper work. and i only wanted it for insurance purposes, not that i could ever actualy “replace” this diamond being that its 60+ year old. I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now. let her come down from the high of being newly engaged…or maybe talk about how excited you are for her, and how exciting it is to find “the one”
I knew my Darling Husband was “the one” well before he ever proposed so when he did i wasn’t talking everlasting love to everyone at work because it was a given that i love him with all my heart and could not wait to be his wife.
Post # 7
It’s funny because ever since I became engaged my cousin has been going crazy about “wedding” stuff. She wants to talk about the venue, the food, the entertainment, etc, but not once did she ask me about how excited i am to be with my fiance for the rest of my life. I honestly think society has turned a marriage into a huge production of a wedding day. Luckily for us, we’re just having a very intimate wedding off in St. Thomas with just our parents and siblings. No one else. Saves us a lot of money, we’ll have a beautiful ceremony and wedding with the most important people in our lives.
Post # 8
@ spotted she and I are pretty close at and on work and im not judging her by any means. But just talking to her made me wonder? I just remember when I got engaged all that was on my mind then and now is that I found my soulmate ring or no ring.
And to answer my own question, my ring is only important to me because it is important to him…
Post # 9
My ring is important to me because it is a special gift from the most important person in my world. When my co-workers found out I was getting married they were more interested in talking about the dress, the invites, the venue – I don’t know if it ever crossed their minds to ask if he was the ‘one’, I guess they took it as a given because I was marrying the guy!
As far as the appraisal goes, I had one done ASAP because we needed it for insurance purposes. I refused to wear it until it was appraised and insured because I would be hysterical if anything happened to my precious!
Post # 10
i agree with a pp who said that she might not be open to talking about her feelings.
i dont think ive ever said to someone “im so happy that ill get to spend the rest of my life with him!”. it’s just not my personality and something i would never say out in the open.
of coruse i tell my fiance things like this all the time, but i just don’t like to share with others anything beyond “i’m very happy and very lucky” or something simple like “he’s a keeper”.
along the same lines, i don’t gush about my ring out in public either. so who knows.
Post # 11
I guess different strokes for different folks….. hopefully I didnt offend anyone 🙂
Post # 12
frankly, some women are shallow and immediately get their ring appraised because they want to know how much their Fiance spent on the ring.
but more realistically, she was being sensible about her ring. if it’s super expensive, it would behoove her to immediately get it protected by insurance, which does require an appraisal.
for me, I was thrilled to have any engagement ring because looking at it reminded me that I was engaged (now married) to the man of my dreams! when I told people, they immediately said “yay, congrats, he is a really great guy” and then I would say “yes, I am so lucky! oh no, now I have to plan a wedding- yikes.“
in my office / family / circle of friends, we are not super into the material side of weddings.
but truth be told, I love big jewelry and I might get a larger center stone one day years from now (it would be a moissanite and actually cost less than my current ring). it will still symbolize our marriage, and I know he is ok with it, so why not?