(Closed) Why isn’t he taking care of this?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

i think his head is in the clouds and he’s maybe unrealistic? I’m also concerned that maybe he isn’t taking the whole thing seriously. Have you already paid for things? Did he pay for anything?

I think you REALLY  need to sit down and talk face to face. Don’t even mention the ring. Just ask if he understands that things need to be booked and most planners start a year ahead- that you are stressed feeling like you are already behind. And, honestly…I think you need to tell him that you need to hear that he wants the wedding. Because he isn’t acting like it, and he isn’t doing the things he said he would do.

I’m concerned for you that your life is going to continue ot go this way, wedding or not…is it a pattern of any kind?

Post # 4
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This does sound like a red flag to me, but only you really know. I think that if he was serious about getting married in June, he’d just ask you. There will always be something to “wait” for–in August it was the bar; later it’ll be something else. 

I’d stop planning the wedding and just ask him if he’s serious about marriage. The ring is not really important, but announcing it to family is–that’s what makes it real. 

 

Post # 6
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you should just straight up ask him what the hold-up is.  I mean, if he’s looking at venues with you he clearly is acting like he’s engaged, so what’s going on?

Post # 7
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m with Lezlers, he told you specifically when he was going to ask you to marry him and then he didn’t. But he keeps talking about your future wedding, without a proposal. So the next time he brings it up, say “well we can’t really talk about that because we aren’t engaged.”

You two have made the joint decision to get married so it is now time for him to do his bit!

Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve found out that with some things wedding-related, guys just dont’ get it.  Maybe he doesn’t realize what sort of a timeline he’s giving you by waiting so long…that June is super popular for weddings, and if you want your first choices, you need to get moving like yesterday.  Not saying it’ll be impossible, but we’ve been planning for two years for our wedding, not constantly, of course, lots of breaks, but booking things early is crucial in “wedding world”.  Maybe you should just have a talk with him, simply ask him if he still wants to get married in June, and if he does, explain that you expect something to happen soon.  No need to pressure him though, like I said, he could just not know how long a wedding takes to plan!

Post # 9
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you need to let him know the following: 1. planning a wedding takes time and some venues/ photographers/ etc will be already booked. You don’t want to wait much longer before setting some details in stone  2. (if accurate…)You don’t feel comfortable doing any more concrete planning until you are officially engaged.  So… you are a bit disappointed that you’re not engaged yet, especially after your conversation 6 months ago. Then you should just see where he stands and if he is making progress. It is possible that he has more done than you think, but I think it’s important you let him know that if he waits much longer you wont be able to have the wedding you want in 2011. 

 

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Not everyone has a total surprise proposal, and that’s okay. It sounds like your plan is great and it still have some traditional elements that people expect and like to see. Now you can worry less about the ticking time till you wedding day and can start planning. Soon you’ll be officially engaged!!  Laughing

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