Post # 1
I tried not to post this but I couldn’t help it. Dying to hear others’ thoughts on it.
In the case of my SO it is very accurate. I think it’s hard to dispute because it’s actually based on general truths collected through surveys.
Post # 3
haven’t read the whole thing, but this bit on men becoming uncomfortable with the singles scene cracked me up!
E.g. They realize that they’ve become the sleazy old guys who hang out at the bars and hit on younger girls
Post # 4
A lot of this doesn’t apply to us but…
this: “Most men decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she’s appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair.” is great! lol
Post # 5
wait wait wait! This DOES apply to us LOL:
- Women who withhold doing household chores usually get more respect from men
- The women who insist on being treated well are 2x as likely to end up marrying their man. No one marries a servant.
Post # 6
I gave my Fiance a 2-year deadline, or I was going to walk.
Post # 7
on the man side of things, i think it’s right on for Fiance…he’ll be in the upper “high commitment period” for a college grad at 32 when we get married. he’ll have been on his own (independent adult) for nearly 11 years at that point. a lot of his friends are married, and he is self admittedly “done with the party scene” and told me early on in our relationship that he doesn’t “date” (i.e., he’s serious when he takes a woman out, doesn’t do the social ritual thing and cuts right to the chase, which i read as uncomfortable with the singles scene)…the values, socioeconomic status, religion/politics thing is DEAD on for us too. as far as him being an “unpolished jewel”…i recognize he might not be everyone’s cup of tea but i think he’s smokin’ hot, lol. i definitely have a type, and he’s it to a ‘T’.
on the woman side of things…not so much. i don’t have a lot of friends…i’ve always kept a few really close friends, vs many friends. i am moving for my guy, but does that count, since i didn’t meet him AFTER moving? i am not slender, i don’t spend a lot of time and effort on my looks, and i never made marriage a priority…just happiness.
Fiance and i did discuss marriage pretty early on…making sure it was something we both wanted i guess. i think he brought it up, too.
Post # 8
I stopped reading after a point as it didnt really refer to us. We have been together since I was 17 and he was 21. It took 6 years of ‘dating’, 5 of living together, 3 over seas holidays, 2 cats and some hard work to get to where we are.
It took us a while as we were young, had no money and what money we did have we preferred to spend on other things. Its only now that we have travelled, are earning good money and have pretty things that we feel we are in a position to afford to have the wedding we want.
On the other hand my co worker was married in less than a year from starting to date her husband so this more than likely reflects their relationship. The girl he was with before her he dated for 5 years without even proposing to her!
Post # 9
Interesting article with seemingly sound research and some solid advice. Should put this in the waiting thread 😀
Post # 10
Alright so I picked this apart because I had the time to. Here is what stood out to me:
I think it is very true that men won’t commit until they have lived as independent adults and have been working for a while. And I’m glad it mentioned the biological clock in men…Fiance has even said to me that we should get on it, cause he wants to be young enough to be an ‘active’ father.
“Men decide w/in 10 minutes if she is marriage material or just a casual affair’? Really? OMG and the fact that it said when a woman is 30, finding a husband should be top priority…’don’t be the last one off the bus’! Like THAT isn’t going to cause widespread panic!!
20% of brides say they didn’t like their husband when the first met him…I remember thinking this!!! I thought he had the capacity to be a real ass! And I was wrong!
This article keeps telling women to ‘stay fit’ ‘being slender attracts a mate easier’…but what about men? Why are men allowed to look awful, but we have to look perfect, but not too made up, fit, but not too skinny…ugh I can’t keep up.
Thanks for posting this! I liked reading it…there have been several articles out there on this subject but this was the most complete, and most research based that I’ve seen.
Post # 11
@Sandollar: omg. I did the same thing. I got a lot of CRAP for it from others that found out. He was someone who never thought about marriage before, and when we moved in together I told him that I would not be a live in girlfriend forever, and after 2 years if he has not taken it to the next level then hey, I love you, but I won’t live with you. He did it about a year later. I don’t care what people think about me telling him that, because I knew that if he didn’t want to commit, then I wasn’t going to beg and plead for a proposal. He knew what I expected and he did it. It might not work for all, but it worked for us.
Post # 12
@soyjoy222: “finding a husband should be top priority…’don’t be the last one off the bus’! Like THAT isn’t going to cause widespread panic!!”
I think they mean, if you really want to get married. Some people are 30 and happily single, but if it’s one of your life goals to be married and have a family, once you’re 30 your odds of doing/having that statistically go down significantly.
“This article keeps telling women to ‘stay fit’ ‘being slender attracts a mate easier’…but what about men? Why are men allowed to look awful, but we have to look perfect, but not too made up, fit, but not too skinny…ugh I can’t keep up.”
It has definitely been shown that this is something that is more important to men than to women in general. Every guy doesn’t want a supermodel but again, statistically speaking, you’re far more likely to attract male attention (and thus get dates and husbands) if you’re not a mess. Everyone is attracted to health.
Post # 13
“3. Women who get married, even those with high-powered careers, make getting married a priority that they work at.”
“b. Don’t date married or gay men.”
Do women really need to be told this? haha
Post # 14
This is a great article. All of it made sense to me. I could see myself and Darling Husband in that article. We could be a poster couple! I hope all of the waiting bees read this!
Post # 15
@kala_way: ‘if you are not a mess’ hahah. What you said is true, it just bothers me sometimes, I guess. I’ve always felt like women have to look healthy and pretty to attract a mate, but men can be messy and not take care of themselves like we are ‘expected’ to. It wears me out! Even more now than before, since I’m engaged and feel as though I could be a little less crazy about my appearace…but you know what happens when women do that – the man leaves! ugh ugh ugh haha. Who knows, maybe men feel image pressure like we do, we just don’t hear about it as much.
Post # 16
@LGenz: LOL, agreed.
I most definitely did not fit this. I never, ever made being married my highest (or even a high) priority, and OMG, “insist that he commit after six months?” THAT IS INSANE.