(Closed) Why must it be a diamond ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

it doesn’t have to be..

Non-Diamond Engagement Rings

there are a TON of beautiful non diamond rings in the thread. But get what you want… you don’t want to regret it!

Post # 4
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

It wasn’t crucial that I have a diamond engagement ring. I opted for something different because I didn’t want Mr. S to have to take out loans to buy my ring. When we were looking, we just looked at everything. I fell in love with the one we ended up buying, and I wouldn’t change it at all, budget or no budget.

(my engagement ring on top of my wedding band. engagement ring: tiffany & co., wedding band: custom from a local jeweler)

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I felt the same as you. Rationally I didn’t want a diamond. Emotionally I did. In my everyday life I’m pretty rational…. but for something like a ring that is inherently emotional, I decided to get what I want and not feel badly about it. However it must be said, my Fiance really wanted to buy a diamond ring, so i didn’t feel badly about that aspect at all. If he didn’t support it, I’d probably feel differently

Post # 6
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

It doesn’t have to be! People will probably give you “the look” when they find out that’s an engagement ring, but I wouldn’t trade my ring for anything.

Post # 7
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Yeah, it is a little annoying on occasion to have the “Oh, that’s your engagement ring?” conversation, but whatever. People will get the memo eventually.

Post # 8
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would have been happy with another stone.  I considered a (blue) sapphire for quite a while.  I did end up going with a diamond, but a much smaller one than I think it typical.  Really the only reason we didn’t do the sapphire was we couldn’t find one that we liked.  I think whatever you choose, it needs to be something that you will love both for it’s looks and for all the moral  associations around it.  What you absolutely don’t need to worry about is what other people think.  If people are judging you or your Fiance based on the ring, then those are people who you would be better off not being associated with. 

Seriously, I doubt anyone would ever say anything critical to you, but if they did, you could always reply “Thank you for showing me your true colors. Now that I know how you really feel, I’ll know not to deal with you in the future.” because that’s all the respect someone like that deserves.  But in reality people will probably say things like “oh it’s not a diamond?  That’s so cool and unique!  So what is moissanite anyway?” in which case you can get to start a cool conversation with someone about all the things you thought about when buying your ring.

Another option if you can’t get diamonds out of your mind (I get that!) would be to look for an antique ring.  It would have so much cool character.  Or you could look for a used or antique ring and just take the stone to put in a new setting.  Then you avoid all the mining issues but still get your diamond.

There are a lot of options, and you shouldn’t feel bad about whatever you choose.  People use all kinds of stones and rings today.  So don’t worry about being seen as weird or anything for your choice, you’re not alone!

Post # 9
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My ring is a man-made diamond, which I think is awesome! R said when he bought he was told that it would appraise for as much as a naturally made diamond. I’m not an expert, but I don’t see a difference. It’s still beautiful and the fact that the love of my life gave it to me as a symbol of his commitment and love for me makes all the difference. 

My sister’s engagement ring was a ring my brother-in-law had gotten in the Middle East and had belonged to a Saudi prince. And I don’t remember where I read it but, the different stones can mean different things. I think Sapphire is for a long and happy marriage.

If you truly want a diamond, but don’t want to pay the cost of it and have politcal reasons, you could always check out some antique stores or estate sales.

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Tons of people get engagement rings with other gemstones instead or with none at all. The people dictating what your ring is “supposed to” be have no business talking since they will not be wearing it. Get whatever you want and don’t pay attention to anyone else.

Post # 11
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@scissors- Exactly!

Post # 12
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My MIL’s partner’s daughter has a ruby. She openly says when people admire it “I asked for a ruby since I am bothered by the diamond mining issues.” No one will judge you on that! I just hoped she wasn’t judging me for not minding the issues and being happy with my diamond.

If you end up with a stone that’s diamond-looking you should just thank people when they admire it and if they start asking about it tell them what it is and why you and Fiance picked it. Anyone who judges you is BONKERS.

Post # 13
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s whatever you and your Fiance want!  Who cares what people say or think!  The one thing I have learned in life is people are always going to have something to say..its too big, its too small, its not a diamond..WHO CARES!  The only thing that matters is you love your ring!  🙂  Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The attitudes some people get over diamond e-rings is just crazy! So judgmental and narrow-minded. People use reasoning like this: 

1. If you get a diamond substitute (meaning, anything that isn’t a diamond), you’re only getting it because you’re cheap or as a placeholder. Or you are horribly confused about what you really want.

2. The only true e-rings are diamond solitaires. Anything else doesn’t “look” like an e-ring. So if you wear any other stone on your left ring finger, it is impossible to process the meaning of the ring. Does. Not. Compute.

3. Diamonds are the best stone! Therefore, they are the only stone you should get (well, except sapphires and aquamarines. Maybe.). Why is diamond the best? Erm. Uh. Sparkle. Shiny. *mumbles something about hardness*

4. The bigger the better. But not too big, because then you just look fake, and you don’t want to look like you have something other than a diamond! Heaven forbid!

5. Conversely; the smaller the stone, the more socially conscientious and super savvy the wearer. Curse you, big bad diamond industry!

6. Diamonds are colorless, so they will match anything! You want everything to match, don’t you? You have good taste, right? *insert hairy eyeball*

7. DIAMONDS SPARKLE, DAMNIT.

 

I want an emerald. Which earns a lot of hairy eyeballs. Sometimes I worry that maybe I am missing the mysterious sparkle memo; but I know that whatever my SO gets, it’s going to be gorgeous, and his fabulous taste will shut the naysayers right up. 🙂

Lots of people just don’t know a lot about gems or jewelry and can’t appreciate anything different. In a sense, many are jewelery color blind. They only see in diamonds and white gold. No red, blue, green, orange, yellow, black, gold, rose, pink, purple. They get on people’s cases about synthetic stones “looking” like a diamond, but they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a red garnet and ruby or emerald and tourmaline.

Basically, it’s ridiculous. Do what you want. Save your money for something you really care about. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel like there is a degree of diamond-bashing on weddingbee sometimes.

Aside from the fact that my true love for my e-ring is for what it symbolizes (my Fiance, love, our future, etc)…

I love my diamond ring because it is sparkly, gorgeous and what I always imagined and I am completely unapologetic for it. Yes, I am very aware of the diamond mining business, mine was sourced from an ethical mine and has a certificate to prove it. 

@Minutiae- I am not narrow-minded and I certainly don’t judge other people’s rings, I just love diamonds.

An e-ring is whatever type of ring the couple wants it to be. There is no “rule” that is has to be a diamond.

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