(Closed) Why must it be a diamond ring?

posted 11 years ago in Rings
Post # 18
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

p.s. i still heart diamonds, even though my engagement ring isn’t diamond. my wedding band is diamond, just cause that’s what we wanted (and, again, could afford without a loan!) so yay for both sides.

Post # 19
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@izziebear- my apologies, I didn’t mean to come across as saying this thread was “bashing” diamonds! I just meant to give my opinion.

Non-diamond rings are just a gorgeous and meaningful. I recommend doing some window shopping and research and see what you like the most! There are so many, many options out there!

Post # 20
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ps- no one would ever judge you or Fiance if you went with an “untraditional” stone. And those who do, aren’t worth your time anyway. I know that’s easier said than done but there it is.

Post # 21
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

I went for a non-diamond ring, because, well, I don’t know really. I had some ethical concerns about diamond mining practices as well, but pretty much, it was just that gemstone rings made my heart jump more than any diamond I saw. And, obviously, I don’t have a grudge against diamonds, since my ring has a lot of pave. Also, if you’re considering a gemstone ring due to cost, I will tell you that my center stone and setting is far, far, far bigger and blingier than what we could ever afford by purchasing a diamond center.

I have gotten some negative comments/judgment about having an aquamarine center stone (one of my relatives went so far as to laugh right in my face about it), but I just really don’t care. I love my ring so much, and feel so confident about our choice, that all that just rolls off my back. Picking an engagement ring is a big decision, both financially and emotionally, and I think that you should go for whatever option you’re really confident about, and really love. If that’s a diamond, do it. If it’s not a diamond, do it.

@PinkPinstripes–I have to disagree about the diamond bashing. I think the large majority of posters on here do have diamond e-rings, and are happy about their choice. And I’m happy for girls with diamonds! It just wasn’t for me. I think perhaps sometimes people who sport non-diamonds are really enthusiastic about explaining their choice, which might in turn sound a little like bagging on diamonds, but I really don’t think that’s the intention.

PS. Here is my aqua ring.

Post # 22
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Octopus- I think you’re very accurate in saying that I mistakenly read the non-diamond wearers as anti-diamonds when really they are enthusiastic about their rings. My apologies.

Post # 23
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

pink, i agree with you. I knew i wanted a diamond e-ring – my moms ering is a diamond, my grandmoms ering is a diamond. and it was what i knew i wanted.  Fiance got me a diamond with a GIA cert, because not all diamonds are blood diamonds.

i have nothing against non diamond erings ( every ering ive seen posted on here is simply stunning!) i think the ering is very personal; some people gravitate towards diamonds and some don’t.

Post # 24
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Minutiae – I agree entirely! I believe that the arguments against having a diamond are so much stronger than those for having one. Besides the points you said, the only argument that I can see for having a diamond is “Diamonds are traditional” – yeah because the guys who get rich from selling lots of diamonds made it that way.

I will openly admit here that I realise I am not like most women, and I in no way mean disrespect to anyone who has a diamond. I am just a massive over-analyser, over-thinker, and way too practical. If it doesn’t do anything useful, I don’t want it. But I know most people aren’t so nuts, and so you are all quite allowed to want something because it is pretty, eeven though that’s not the way I operate.

I (obviously) don’t have a diamond ring. I have a cheap ($200) sapphire and white gold ring. He never gave it as an engagement ring, but I refused to let him waste more money on something that I personally feel is unnecessary, so when we got engaged I swapped fingers. Easy peasy! I get comments all the time about how beautiful it is, UNTIL they find out that it is an engagement ring. After that they seem embarrassed for liking a non-diamond ring. Oh the horror! Don’t worry people, I won’t tell anyone, your secret is safe with me! *rolls eyes*. My “best” friend has gone to my Fiance on numerous occasions behind my back to demand that he buy me a “real” ring! I can argue my case with her til the cows come home but she will never listen. She believes that I don’t want a “real” e-ring because I “think I don’t deserve it”. Puke.

I think it’s great that people who are against the mining industry are going out of their way to ensure they get ethical rings, like @PinkPinstripes. My only problem with this is that other people who don’t have the means to buy “good” diamonds, will still continue to see most women wearing diamonds, and will therefore have to buy a cheaper, non-ethical diamond in order to have their own. However, getting a non-diamond stone may cause someone who would have otherwise got a non-ethical diamond to also choose a different stone. Social change by exposure and changing the norm. I know I have caused several people to now want a non-diamond ring.

Sorry, essay is now over Embarassed

Post # 25
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For the exact reason you mentioned, I was adament that I did not want a diamond. I fell in love with Moissanites for their beauty and durability. The price was an added bonus. Do I tell everyone that it’s a moissanite? No. Do people assume I have a diamond when they see my ring? Yes. I don’t like lecturing for 10 minutes everytime someone sees my ring. I let them assume whatever they want, unless I get the feeling they’re curious. I’ve gotten mixed reactions when I share info about my ring, but I don’t care. I love my ring, it’s beauitful and durable, and a symbol of love.

I’ve also drooled over sapphires and aquamarines. There are so many gorgeous choices out there.

Post # 26
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I have a David Yurman ring that has a center stone that is a type of quartz I believe and at first I had some oo so what is that and I would always just say you know I am not sure but I am so happy to be engaged. We choose my ring because I wanted something more unique and imo many e-ring wear I live all look the same.

Post # 27
25 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I believe that every woman should have the ring that she loves, regardless of what it is.

I noticed your first questions are “what if people thought this?”

It doesn’t matter what people think. Only you can allow yourself to be affected by someone else’s second-hand opinion.

*I will add that this is addressing people who would look down upon another for not having a diamond e-ring, not everyone who owns a diamond. Again, I believe everyone should have the e-ring they love.

You asked, was it crucial for me to have a diamond? When I was young, yes, but after doing research on the blatant culture-control of the industry, I absolutely grew to detest it. (The industry, not the diamonds themselves).

So then, it became crucial for me to NOT have a diamond. I looked everywhere for a ring that had no diamonds, not even in accents. It was rather difficult to find, and in the end, we ended up with getting it custom made, and I absolutely love it.

I will again stress that I don’t think badly of anyone who owns a diamond. I am surrounded by women who have beautiful diamond e-rings, and when I see them, all I do is admire them– I can’t think of anyone who would deny a diamond’s beauty, least if all me.

Absolutely no one has made any comment regarding my ring. And if anyone did, to be honest, I would probably burst out laughing– how silly for anyone to believe you must have something simply because someone told you that you should.

Don’t allow any room in your mind for thoughts regarding what anyone else thinks. Be confident in your choices no matter what you choose, diamond or no diamond!


Post # 28
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I love jewelry, plain and simple. Non-diamond engagement rings, diamond engagement rings, etc.

But personally, i wanted a diamond engagement ring. In fact, I wanted a yellow one. DH wanted to buy me a white diamond–he’s pretty old fashioned sometimes and I honestly don’t think he’d ever have bought me a gemstone e-ring. I love gemstones and wear them on my right hand frequently, but i wanted a “traditional” diamond engagement ring. Plus, i really doubt a gemstone would hold up well in my profession and that would make me uncomfortable because I don’t take off my wedding set.

Post # 29
1631 posts
Bumble bee

I have a blue sapphire e-ring and love it. I chose it for a number of reasons, most importantly that I like to be different and the cost savings, which we’re using for our wedding.

I honestly thought I’d get questions/remarks about it not being a diamond but I haven’t. If people think it they keep it to themselves.

I don’t think all us non-diamond people are diamond bashers. I originally thought I’d get a diamond e-ring. But things turn out differently than you often expect. Personally, I think us non-diamond e-ringers sometimes feel like we have to explain our decisions, which may be why people think we’re diamond bashing.

Post # 30
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I had one odd question (but it was an odd family member) about my ring. She thought this was a promise ring or something..

I’m much more about big and awesome than subtle and sparkly, so the aquamarine just fit. I think diamonds will always be the “default” engagement ring, but if you want gemstones, get gemstones.

Post # 31
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The only reason it must be a diamond ring is because of a very effective De Beers marketing campaign. Diamond had not been the default engagement gemstone until this campaign embarked back before 1940’s.

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