(Closed) Why must it be a diamond ring?

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 47
1267 posts
Bumble bee

Hi!  You’re not alone! I don’t want a diamond either, both for ethical reasons and also because I personally like colorful things and diamonds are usually colorless, lol!  Plus, I love standing out and attention, so a big colorful ring is much more my style 🙂

When we get around to ring shopping, this is the one I’ve told him I would like, or something like it.  It’s from Brilliant Earth, which is an ethical company.  However, I have told him that I don’t care if they are CZ, man made or whatever.  I’m the least materialistic woman ever and I don’t feel that a price tag or piece of jewelry is an accurate measure of love and devotion.  But even my most materialistic friends would rather have a ring with good karma attached to it – most I know that have diamonds are from ethical companies, too.

I really think most women that love their man wouldn’t care what type of ring they got – they care more about the actual marriage and commitment. Go for what makes you feel good!

Post # 48
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Nice argument Ritabee! It’s difficult for me to counterpoint because I’ve never taken an economics class in my entire life (English majors, holler) and I can’t say anything definitive about Botswana & Namibia without doing a lot of research into their economies first.

The Kimberley Process needs reform in a bad, bad way. So really my only argument against your post is that it kind of gave the diamond industry an easy-way-out simply because the KP exists, and also because you called the KP a “safe way” to purchase diamonds. It’s not.

I know a little bit about the current situations in Sierra Leone & Zimbabwe, which are also now participants in the Kimberley Process. The KP doesn’t protect against human rights abuses in general but very specifically “only addresses the direct connection between diamond production and funding for rebel groups—it says nothing about governments that may be oppressive or use violence.

In fact, according to Human Rights Watch, the worst atrocities associated with diamond production currently exist in Zimbabwe, a country that the KP recently chose not to suspend from the trade due to “the  technicality in its mandate that defines blood diamonds as those mined by abusive rebel groups, not by abusive governments.”

Another criticism of the Kimberley Process that is worth mentioning: “The Kimberley Process is based on a system of voluntary self-regulation by the diamond industry, which is not seen as a reliable way of enforcing higher standards, and because inherent weaknesses in the system allow for smuggling of blood diamonds into the ‘conflict-free’ trade. Global Witness reports, for example, that, ‘A United Nations Group of Experts on Cote d’Ivoire has recently found that poor controls are allowing significant volumes of blood diamonds to enter the legitimate trade through Ghana, where they are being certified as conflict free.'”

There’s an interesting short documentary available on Hulu (link below) that follows around a few diamond miners in Kono, Sierra Leone; you can see that the laborers certainly aren’t feeling the prosperity of living and working in the diamond industry—in a diamond rich district no less. “Despite the millions (140 million reported in the year before to documentary was shot) of dollars in diamonds that are exported each year, Kono remains desperately poor—lacking even in basic amenities. No running water and no electricity. The miners work for 30cents a day a two cups of rice, unless they find a diamond in which they only get a tiny percentage of its worth.” There is a program in place that aims to teach the miners about the true values (how to evaluate cut, color, carat, shape) so that they can better negotiate what they are paid, which is kind of cool.

Skip to 14:49 to see the diamond stuff…the first half is about the rose export industry. I’ll warn that there’s some graphic images from the war at the very beginning of the segment.

Sources: Vanguard Documentary, Human Rights Watch, Planet Green, Global Witness Report from 8/6/2010


Post # 49
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

How easy would it be to smuggle diamonds from a conflict area to a “safe zone” to sell and stamp it with a KP certificate? With any system, there are holes.

I grew up thinking that a diamond was the only stone worthy of being presented as an engagement ring. Then I started living as green as I could. Even if the KP process was perfect, diamond and gold mining are still killing the planet. Blowing up large holes in the Earth is no bueno. Also, I do not want to support the gross marketing brainwashing Debeers came up with the dupe everyone into thinking diamonds were the only stone to buy.

I’m a blingy girl and even if I liked diamonds and didn’t care about the environment my SO would have to take out a loan to buy my ring. Yes, I’m shallow and i want a big blingy ring, but I’m tall with long fingers and wear a size ten so anything less than 1ct looks like a tiny spec of dust on my finger.

After months of research, we have decided on moissanite. No crazy marketing schemes, no holes in the ground, and no possibility of the stone being from a war zone.

Post # 50
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I was VERY firm on having a non-diamond ring. Neither Fiance nor I like them all that much. Everyone has one–they’re not really rare or anything, and I don’t think they’re that special (no offense to anyone who has one). They’re basically a dime a dozen anymore, thanks to the belief that it has to be a diamond or it’s not an engagement ring.

I have a garnet–not an uncommon stone, I realize, but it’s unusual for an engagement ring. I just think colored stones are prettier.

Post # 51
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I didn’t really care one way or the other.  I love color, and haven’t really seen many stones that I don’t like.  My birthstone is a blue sapphire, so I wore a lot of sapphire jewelry going up (my mom is a sapphire too, so I wore a lot of her jewelry growing up, LOL.) My sister’s is a garnet, so I loved those too.

Fiance is very traditional, and chose a three stone diamond engagement ring for me.  I didn’t have any say in the ring, so I can’t really complain.  I love my ring though.

It also matches everything.  I am very anal retentive about colors, so I think having a blue or red engagement ring would have bothered me, LOL.  I’m kind of a psychopath about that, haha.

But, I will just drool over everyone else’s pretty rings,and buy lots of gorgeous colored stone jewelry for other occasions 😉

Post # 52
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Even if the Kimberley Process was not the huge failure that it is (which sucks, because the blood diamond trade is still alive and kicking, but the KP has given diamond retailers and their customers false peace of mind about the industry) I can’t ignore the environmental damage caused by mining. Or the ridiculously inflated prices… “rare” my a$$, everyone and their dog has a diamond! Actually, I already have three – passed down from my grandma. I love them because they were my grandma’s, not because they’re “real” diamonds. I love the inexpensive bead bracelet my other grandma gave me just as much. And I will love the moissanite e-ring from my fiance just as much.

@Edina: Great post!

@Miss Tattoo: Agree with everything you said, especially the gross marketing brainwashing part!

Post # 53
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

idk my first e-ring was diamonds, now i just want a yellow sapphire which is what i had my heart set on the first time i was engaged but he insisted on white diamonds… luckily the current Fiance is like me and likes to be a little different and thinks its great i want a yellow sapphire, meh, its just more ‘ME” suits my personality and everyone who knows me knows that

Post # 54
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Diamonds quite honestly didn’t give me that -gasm feeling (you know the one!)  Here is my newly acquired engagement ring (the old one was still very pretty and blue, the new one is EXACTLY what I have always wanted and was a sweet surprise.)

on my finger….. LOVE IT!!!!!!

And mine and his.  I am still stuck on the wedding band. I currently hate everything with it except for a band that was $976 (yeah right way outta budget).


Post # 55
37 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

@octopus:  Your aqua ring is gorgeous!



Post # 56
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Statutory Grape: “I was VERY firm on having a non-diamond ring. Neither Fiance nor I like them all that much. Everyone has one–they’re not really rare or anything, and I don’t think they’re that special (no offense to anyone who has one). They’re basically a dime a dozen anymore, thanks to the belief that it has to be a diamond or it’s not an engagement ring.

I have a garnet–not an uncommon stone, I realize, but it’s unusual for an engagement ring. I just think colored stones are prettier.”

I feel exactly the same way. Everybody and their dog has diamonds, I wanted something different. I have a stunning green tourmaline in an unusual setting and not a single person has gone, “OMGWTFBBQ where’s your diamond?” Everyone who knows me thinks the ring is perfectly suited for me, no diamond required.

Post # 57
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Accidental double post deleted.

Post # 58
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@crebre80: I second that…aquamarines are gorgeous!

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