(Closed) Why must you ask that?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

How old are you? (Obligatory question…)

I’m 29 and I’m worried about divorce because it is a valid concern. Age has nothing to do with it. Tell them to mind their own business.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My own mom kept asking me that! She did the same thing with my sister, so I know it’s just that she’s unhappily married & not that there is any genuine reason for her to be concerned about our choices in husbands. It’s annoying!

Slightly similar- some middle aged woman cornered me in the bathroom at my bachelorette & said some silly things about me needing to get out more if I was having my bachelorette *there* (it was just the pre-bach dinner with my female relatives), and then said something to the tune of “Well, congratulations, I guess…I mean, I don’t believe in marriage but good luck!” WTF?

Post # 5
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i am sure they are well meaning, but, yeah, that would annoy me too… who would seriously do that? are you exceptionally young?

Post # 6
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m 26 and I get this from a handful of coworkers (male). 

ETA: One of them also told me that he (49) and his fiancee (40) have been engaged for nine years and had no plans to get married anytime soon, but definitely want to have kids in the future (because he asked me why I wanted to get married, and I responded that we’d like to have kids).

Post # 7
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@soon2beemrsblount:  I can definitely understand why it’s annoying to you.  I hate it when people butt into my business.  However, I really wish I would have had an older figure in my life who would have asked me those tough questions when I was 18 and engaged to my ex- Darling Husband.  However, I probably wouldn’t have listened to them anyway.

Do what’s in your heart, take pride in your future marriage and making it work, and realize that most of these people are well-meaning. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee

I get that from a lot of my coworkers (many of whom are in their 50’s+ and divorced). They also tell me that we’re pretty much definitely going to get divorced and that all men are horrible and will break your heart. Just ignore it : ) 

Post # 10
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well, about 1/3rd to 50% of marriages end in divorce. That is true. But 100% of lives end in death at some point. You wouldn’t tell someone not to go out and live their lives because they will die one day.

Just say “Yes, I know. But I don’t live my life fearing that I might get hurt, that is a risk I am willing to take because I believe in this relationship.”

Post # 11
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Same. I went to a party and someone got drunk and asked why we were even bothering to get married when divorce rates were so high and it probably wouldn’t last.

And then most hurtful of all when I went to the toilet a family member asked my Fiance if he was sure what he was really getting into. 

Post # 12
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@soon2beemrsblount:  I was just asked that the other day by my aunt. She asked if I was sure about the wedding and I said, “Do you mean about the wedding or the marriage?” and she meant the latter. I mean, we’ve been living together for 3 years, we practically are married. And the wedding is in a little over a month so I’m not crazy about hearing those comments especially now.

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