Post # 1
I really just can’t understand why I send invitations out like a month in advance when I need a head count in order to pick a venue. I am getting married on the opposite coast and 98% of people are traveling. Why can’t I send out invitations now just to see how many people are actually going to go? I just can’t understand this crap! This doesn’t make any sense to me!!!! HELP HELP HELP
Ugh. I hate this shit. Wedding planning is so confusing and stupid.
Post # 3
I’m ignoring the expectation and sending mine out early for the same reason. We live in Texas and are getting married in California. Wedding is end of Jan, invitations go out end of Oct and RSVP is due end of Nov. Our friends and family are happy to get the details early.
Post # 4
The idea is that you pick a venue based on how many people are on your guest list, even though not all of them will likely show up. So if you want to invite 300 people, you find a venue that’ll accommodate a max of 300.
It’s definitely confusing, but you’ll get the hang of it!
Post # 5
Oh PS… my wedding is not in 2014. it’s July 6, 2013 Big Sur California. and I live in Maryland
Post # 6
Is your date in your profile true? If so, how are your guest supposed to know what they will be doing next next summer in June? Even if someone says yes now, there is no telling what will happen between now and then!
Decide what venue you want, and make your guest list to suit – if the venue is max 100, make a smaller guest list, etc. Also, send out save the dates earlier, and see what the response is to that.
Post # 7
You pick a venue based on your guest list size, then send out invites. Usually 20% RSVP no, but that number is higher with a destination wedding. Did you send out Save the Dates?
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
If you send them out now, mostpeople will decline– this is because it’s pretty much impossible to plan for a party that you might be attending 8 months from now. Also, if you send them out this early, people will forget. I realize it’s the most important day in YOUR life, but not everyone feels the same.
Send out STD cards, and call your guests to ask them if they might be able to make the travel or not.
If the vast majority of your guests have to travel, why not make it somewhere closer and only have 2% of your guests traveling?
Post # 9
Just saw your update – you can send out save the dates around eight months in advance, with an expectation that that is a reasonable amount of time in advance of your date for people to know what they are planning to do around then. Also, you can informally ask people at any time!
Post # 10
Yes, always pick a venue that would hold down the fort if everyone showed up. I don’t see anything wrong with sending out invites early.
I think tradition says 3 months in advance, but if you are going to be out of state I would say 5 or 6 would be much better for others involved.
Edit: Forgot about save the dates! (we aren’t doing them). Those are perfect in your situation.
Post # 11
You’re getting married in June 2014 and want to send invitations now? Are you kidding? Waaaaay too early.
I don’t know where you got 1 month from. Most guides say to send them 2-3 months before the wedding and give people at least a month to RSVP. There is no way people can predict their schedule 1.5 years away.
ETA: just saw your update about July 2013. Send STD’s now and start to feel out who will be coming so that you can get a rough estimate for rentals and catering. Send invites out around the end of March.
Post # 12
I know that I am going against the little etiquette book… but… my personal opnion is to sod it and send them out when it suits you! I have received some invites a year in advance and not thought “oh my god, how could someone possibly do this” it’s not like it’s offensive, it’s exciting
I sent out my ones to people that live abroad 8 months in advance and my others 5 months in advance, because I had the invites sitting there and wanted to send, and also wanted to ensure people could get time off work as it is on a Friday
As long as you aren’t expecting the RSVP’s until a few months before as ike others said, things can change for people
edited to add, 2 years in advance may be a bit early for people to update their calenders, and can get forgotten, sorry I didn’t see the date
Post # 13
Yikes! I’m not sure what I’d do if I got a wedding invite for next July 2013. I assume I’d say I was going, but things might come up in between then and now.
Post # 14
Because if your wedding is in June….how would I know if I’m able to come???? Alot of things can happen between now in then. If you do it now, then you might have people that said they were coming then end up not coming.
Post # 15
Is a Save the Date supposed to get a response from people that don’t intend on coming? It’s destination and mostly family and close friends.We have a list of 80 but who in the hell knows how many will show up. Most places were looking at are like 50 people max. What if all these people say yes????? I’m gonna end up with 30 people eating at McD’s!!!
Post # 16
Woah well if it’s that small of a wedding (I had an 80 person wedding too), then most people will tell you if they can make it. Before my wedding invites went out (I sent them at 8 weeks), I knew that my aunts and grandparents and best friends had already bought plane tickets. You should be able to do a rough estimate. Some people surprised us by not coming and some surprised us by coming, but we knew the core people (80% of the wedding) would def be there.