(Closed) Why oh why do our FI’s do this?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If you can get away with not inviting his two buddies, then I would go ahead and invite his boss. It’s only two people and it shows respect for someone who has helped him in his career. Trust me, there will be at least two people who tell you they’re coming right up to the day of the wedding, and then for some reason can’t/don’t show. 🙂

Post # 4
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii


OMG, our FI’s should be friends. It’s kind of insane, but the poor guy thinks we invited them in the first place *sigh* we’ve stopped the problem by me printing out a copy of the guest list for him to have in plain sight in his home office. Now he knows exactly who got an invitation. I think inviting his boss would be a nice gesture but the buddies he barely sees? Don’t sweat it. Hope that helps!

Post # 5
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I can relate.  When we made the guest list, he couldn’t care less and actually fell asleep while his mom and I worked it out.  So he does not know who is or isn’t on our guest list.  Now, not only does he spread the word without discussing it with me first, but he also feels uncomfortable when someone tells him they really want to come to our wedding. So he just tells them they’re invited!  Then he comes home and tells me “Btw, I ran into this guy I know from middle school. He said really wants to come to our wedding, so we have to send him an invitation.”  Uhm, no hun, we don’t!

In you situation, I would also say yes to the supervisor, but ‘forget’ the other guys. If they ask, let him tell them that he didn’t know what the budget was when he mentioned it to them and that he realized you needed to keep the guest list smaller than he thought.

Post # 6
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can totally relate, too. Fiance doesn’t know what to do when people invite themselves, so he just lets them :/. Boys need to be taught how to handle guest lists.

Post # 7
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ooooh, I’m the one who keeps adding to OUR guestlist.  Ooops! LOL!  Well, I haven’t since we’re at 69 (who doesn’t like that number? *wink wink nudge nudge*)

Seriously, though, I’d invite the superior since he’s been there for your Fiance and it would be a nice gesture.  Besides, no need to burn bridges, right? 😉  As for the ones he rarely sees, meh, put them on the “b” list and claim it got lost in the mail. 😉  (evil, yes, I am! LOL!)

good luck! sorry you’re gotta deal with this!

Post # 8
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow. I kind of wish Fiance was like that!! I have to hound everyday about “who are you inviting from work?!” and I keep getting “I don’t know..I’m still thinking about it”. Newsflash, big boy! Invites are already in mailboxes so I guess you’re not inviting anyone! Lol


@Zinzerena: I’m the one who keeps adding to the list, too! Lol

Post # 9
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

FH actually added a groomsman without talking to me first.  He asked if it was ok in front of him, of course I had no problem with it as he is a dear friend, but I was really put on the spot.  And he keeps inviting guys he works with, we only have so many seats and no more, ugh, I still don’t know how to stop him.

Post # 10
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I just got engaged on Tuesday and this is already happening to me!  He came home thursday after work and said he told everyone at work he proposed and i sais yes. And that he invited his bosses to the wedding.  Haha.  Really? We are planning on getting married in october 2012.  Thats a heck of a long way away.  If he’s already starting this I’m really concerned about closer to the wedding!

Post # 11
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ummm ya. I hope my friends don’t mind that I’ll already have changed my name before they realize that I’m married and there will be no long-awaited bachelorette in Vegas. Sorry to anyone planning to attend!!!!

Post # 12
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Oh, man, my Fiance wants to invite eeeeveryone from his work too…this is silly! I think he should just invite his boss…

Post # 13
254 posts
Helper bee

YES!!!  And when I get upset, he gets upset back exclaiming they they really needed to be on the list in the first place and I reply with “the list you checked three times”?!  Man it is so frusterating!

Post # 14
293 posts
Helper bee

Haha, yes, my husband would feel horrible about not being able to invite everyone he knew and kept wanting to add more people. He knows a lot more people than I do, too! But eventually he understood.. he still felt bad though.

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