(Closed) Why oh Why is it so Hard to Propose for Some Guys?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

because girls put a lot more value on the idea of marriage than guys do, in general. to guys, the fact that he’s with you long term, he’s already demonstrating his commitment to you on a daily basis … so what’s up with this marriage thing? all it does is make it “official”. that’s what I think they’re thinking.

also, pinning “ideas” on Pinterest is essentially planning. everybody I know denies this but it is what it is. you’re not engaged but you’re getting “ideas” for what you want your wedding to look like? Yeah, that’s planning.

Post # 4
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@strawbs:  *Incoming message from the bank of the rivers of De-Nile* Nuh-uh…

Post # 6
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Tell him that’s because no other girlfriends of his were as mature as you, and none of them could have loved him nearly as much as you do!  😉

Also try to keep your looking/pinning/planning on the DL from now on. I have to start hiding my wedding interests as well since apparently they freak my SO out a bit. ARGH, men.  *SMH*

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Some men just take longer to be ready to settle down.

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

QUESTION…

Why is it so Hard to Propose for Some Guys?

Short answer…

BECAUSE THEY AREN’T READY… MEN AREN’T WOMEN

They take a lot longer to figure things out in life than we do when it comes to wanting to settle down, start a family etc.

Plain & simple, a Man WILL propose when he is sure he has met the right girl, and is ready.

THEN more than likely they want to get married asap… it just is how they operate.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  

@frogprincess:  LOLOL there’s nothing wrong with having a wedding Pinterest, I’m just saying that it’s part of the planning process to be gathering ideas 😉

Post # 11
Member
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have to tell you, I was guilty of bringing it up, pseudo planning, right down to asking about it and nagging. When I stopped talking about it and pressuring him about it, he took the lead. Backing off on it really works. 

Post # 13
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you’re both ready you could always propose to him.  Nothing wrong with that.  If he’s not ready you don’t want to marry him though.  There is no need in having a long engagement in order wait for him to be ready.  Have you talked about whether or not you’re both ready…truly ready? 

Post # 15
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anthrogirl:  Thank you that made me feel better! I am going to completely stop talking about anything wedding related and not pinterest my wedding board for awhile. I am just going to enjoy the relationship and stop stressing about if he will ever propose.

 

Yes, I think that is a good idea!  Give your brain a break for now.

 

Have you talked about how LONG of an engagement would good for each of you?  Perhaps he has a different idea of engagement length? 

“We have never had a ubber deep talk about being ready to be married”

For me, I’d need some uber deep talks prior to any proposal!  Even as a woman, I wouldn’t expect a proposal without discussing it first.

Post # 16
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sienna76:  I agree.  My Fiance and I had a long talk about being married…not just “yeah we know we’ll get married”.  We talked about about being married to one another.  There was no doubt and we had no timeline.  Being in our mid-40s we didn’t have patience for that kind of thing.  When we decided to get married we decided to get married.  Our engagement will have been a whopping 3 months when we get married later this month. 

OP, if you all haven’t had the talk then I can’t help but think that you’re not ready to get married yet either.  Maybe ready to be engaged but that’s different.  I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens.  🙂

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