(Closed) Why do people expect their parent(s) to contribute to their wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 107
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, I expected it, because it is what is done in our family. I don’t know of anyone in my family on either side who paid for their own wedding. Certainly, a lot of this is socioeconomic and cultural. My family is Southern, conservative and religious, which I think is connected to most of my relatives getting married in their early 20s before they have established careers and incomes. Therefore, there would be no way for them to pay for their own wedding without saving for a long time, and that would not go over well because my family is against living together before marriage and premarital sex. Therefore, long engagements aren’t encouraged. Parents would much rather foot the bill for the wedding to insure their daughter is starting off her marriage “the right way”. I’m sure there are other things that go into it – certainly a desire to give a meaningful gift! – but I think this cultural aspect plays a role in my family and is part of why it is very traditional for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding.

Besides the fact that I knew that weddings in my family were paid for by the bride’s family, my mom made plenty of comments over the years about what my wedding budget would be, so it was one of those things I always knew – just like I always knew my parents would help me pay for college. If my family had declined to pay for the wedding, I would have been disappointed and surprised based on everything I’ve just said, but I wouldn’t have been angry or resentful. However, I would have explained that Fiance and I would have to live together for probably 2 years to save for a wedding where we could invite all our family and show them a good time. This wouldn’t have gone over well at all! So I’m glad my parents stepped up and are paying for it. I realize I am certainly blessed in this way! However, I don’t know why anyone would judge this. Every family is different.

Post # 108
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it’s more traditional still where I am from (GA)…every wedding I have been to the parents paid and stuck to the tradition of what the bride’s parents groom’s parents and the bride and groom pay for. My parents expected to have to pay for it, and gave me a 10k budget, which is fine for me. My brother got married last year and her parents paid for it , and my parents paid for the traditional groom stuff. My poor parents still have my two younger sisters though. It’s just tradition for them, it was never expected but just assumed. Not because I felt entitled, but because thats how I thought it was. Although, when sticking to tradition I think the grooms family should have to pay for more, not fair. haha

Post # 109
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

tradition aside if you cannot financially afford you’re own wedding and get upset that your parents/family will not pay for it you should not have a HUGE wedding period.

Post # 110
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m an only child and assumed my parents would offer some sort of support. Well I was wrong. HA!  It is definitely going to be very small without any outside help. Sort of wish my parents were a little more old fashioned in this case, since you sort of do the wedding in large part for your family (and yourself of course). Either way I’m getting hitched. Might even invite the parents too;)

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