- 11 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
Yes, I expected it, because it is what is done in our family. I don’t know of anyone in my family on either side who paid for their own wedding. Certainly, a lot of this is socioeconomic and cultural. My family is Southern, conservative and religious, which I think is connected to most of my relatives getting married in their early 20s before they have established careers and incomes. Therefore, there would be no way for them to pay for their own wedding without saving for a long time, and that would not go over well because my family is against living together before marriage and premarital sex. Therefore, long engagements aren’t encouraged. Parents would much rather foot the bill for the wedding to insure their daughter is starting off her marriage “the right way”. I’m sure there are other things that go into it – certainly a desire to give a meaningful gift! – but I think this cultural aspect plays a role in my family and is part of why it is very traditional for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding.
Besides the fact that I knew that weddings in my family were paid for by the bride’s family, my mom made plenty of comments over the years about what my wedding budget would be, so it was one of those things I always knew – just like I always knew my parents would help me pay for college. If my family had declined to pay for the wedding, I would have been disappointed and surprised based on everything I’ve just said, but I wouldn’t have been angry or resentful. However, I would have explained that Fiance and I would have to live together for probably 2 years to save for a wedding where we could invite all our family and show them a good time. This wouldn’t have gone over well at all! So I’m glad my parents stepped up and are paying for it. I realize I am certainly blessed in this way! However, I don’t know why anyone would judge this. Every family is different.