- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This was a conversation I had with a friend and thought I would share what we discussed. If you don’t agree then that is understandable! We all do what is right for us and if this doesn’t ring home then that is totally fine. However, I figured I would post anyway since it is wedding talk and I am sure one person could relate.
Most people have a list of things they want to accomplish before they get married but I always had a different list.
Things to do with your partner before you marry:
1) Go on vacation alone and with family
2) Have long visits where you live together for a few weeks or a couple of months
3) Go on long road trips or plane rides together
4) Experience seperation that lasts two weeks or more
5) Go out on dates with friends and without
6) Hang out with each others friends (one day with his and one day with yours)
7) Go to family gatherings
8) Spend time with animals or children (babysit/foster for a couple days)
9) Experience taking care of your sick partner
10) Have a wedding or a reception
I didn’t have all of these things on my list originally but built them as I went along. You can add or take whatever you like but I think these situations can really bring out the best and worst in you. The wedding was probably the best learning experience.
My friend told me that she eloped with her husband because the wedding stress was too hard and I can believe it! I believe that you should have a wedding that fits you whether it be made up of 200 people or four. Just PLAN something together. Saving money for an event that is months away is difficult and trying to organize that event is even harder! My husband and I learned so much about each other as we went through the planning process. There were fights of how it could be done and there were intimate moments when we didn’t want anything to change. However the wedding brought out the best and worst in us and for that reason I am grateful. Seeing the worst your partner can be is so important to me because it shows what my future was holding. If I couldn’t plan a party with this guy then how could I marry him? It was such a crazy experience with lots of ups and downs but we did it! When the wedding came I did not think of all the pretty decor that I hunted for in yeard sales or the food I picked out so critically. All I saw that whole night was my husband. In the end you could say we should have eloped since all that extra stuff was pointless but I really think all of that extra whoopla served a purpose. Taking care of a million little things helped us grow as a couple and when the wedding came we were able to show off something we built together.
Our wedding was not only about us but about our family as well. It was also the last push from our parents and the start of a single family that is apart of a much bigger herd. The wedding was an accomplishment, our first accomplishment. In the end it wasn’t about a princess day or a picture perfect party. Our wedding was about us and showing everyone what we, the Payless family, could do together.