(Closed) Why Planning a Wedding Can Benefit your Marriage

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14964 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Agreed!  I’d also add to the list, go kayaking with your partner.  If you can’t be in something as simple as a kayak and work together without wanting to knock the other one over the head with the paddle, there’s something wrong.  So. True.  My ex’s all failed the kayak test, so looking back, it’s sort of funny.

Post # 6
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I love your list! I think Fiance and I are cheating because we have a wedding planner, so it’s not a very hard or stressful process for us…

But then I think towards the times we’ve build things together or worked on things together, and how much we LOVE to plan and collaborate!

Post # 7
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I did whitewater and sea kayaking in college, so I’m not sure that test would work for me.  (I also assume you mean a double kayak, and a canoe could work too.)

We naturally did all but kids/animals.  (I thought we hadn’t done separation, but actually we did, 3 weeks into dating, he went away for 2 weeks for work & a tacked on vacation.)  Pretty hard to happen naturally when you have a one bedroom condo – no space to host extras.  We did babysit my nephew a few times.  That said, he owns a cat so maybe that counted.

I don’t think you have to vacation with family (but yes to a vacation together prior).  I do think meeting friends and family is critical. 

Post # 8
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

If I may add one to your list then that would be: 11) Go to Las Vegas and stay there for about a week or more πŸ™‚ 

Post # 11
Member
966 posts
Busy bee

when it comes to my friends, I like having a seperate social life, when it comes to family I would want my so to come to every family function And have joint relationships with family. 

Post # 12
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I love both this list and the idea that planning a wedding can be good for a marriage! In general I think it’s important to see your partner in as many lights as possible πŸ™‚

We’ve done everything on your list, but I’ve never gone kayaking or to Vegas. But we’ve worked together on some things that I think are the same kind of idea as kayaking together, and we’ve adventured, gotten smashed, and gambled together.

I don’t have anything else to add, but seeing how Fiance was with his-now-our dog is part of what made me fall in love with him ♥

Post # 13
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d add: take a class together and do home renovations or a large scale project.

We took two classes (one was piloting for marine navigation, very technical, and the other was to be certified in welding). It was great to see how he encouraged and supported me and was so proud when I would get a better grade, rather than be resentful, jealous  and try to “beat” me. That showed me he would work with me rather than compete. We had a little bit of healthy, friendly competition but only to an enjoyable level. 

We also renovated our boat from top to bottom, he fixed up the engines and refinished the wood work and I taught myself to sew, reupholstered the couches and made a new bedspread and curtains and redid the canvas and the outside vinyl seats, sideboards and Captain’s chair As well as made lounge cushions and new windows. We both did the carpeting. It was a HUGE undertaking, took full time work for an entire backbreaking stressful summer but we never fought and he helped me so much with learning and patience and support from every angle that it made me fall in love with him more every day. You really learn a lot about someone when you tear something down all the way and build it back up without directions!

Oh, and weather a storm…we’ve been through several huge snowstorms as well as two hurricanes…I’m a planner and always stock up and track storms a week in advance he giggles but indulges me and appreciates it.  He takes care of the fuel and generator and batteries etc…we now have three weather stations lol. We make a great team!

Post # 14
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Payless:  i agree with this list 100%! I would add that you need to have talks about the Big Things In The Future (money, retirement, where you would ideally live, how you will raise your kids) even though they seem far off. We had to do this because of Pre-Cana and I’m very glad because those are the things people seem to fight about later in the marriage.

Post # 15
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@pinkshoes:  HAHAHhA tandem kayaking is HORRIBLE! It is SO hard! I did it with an ex and finally threw my paddle in because he was being so bossy and said NEVER AGAIN! lol

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