(Closed) Why RSVP “yes, if you are just going to NOT SHOW!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would be too.  It’s rude.  I think of it as if you were inviting people to your home for a dinner party and they never called to say they weren’t coming.  Rude, rude, rude.  There may be excuses, and that’s fine, but TELL SOMEONE BEFORE HAND. 

And by the way, congrats on the wedding! 

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

People are so rude! I’m sorry this put a nasty little kink in your otherwise beautiful wedding! This is pretty common though, there were a lot of escort cards leftover at my FSIL’s wedding for people who said they’d come and of course didn’t. Too bad you can’t bill them each for their "at head" cost to the wedding . Congrats on your wedding though!!!

Post # 5
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

First, congrats on your wedding!  I would be upset about it too.  It is completely rude and inconsiderate of these people.  A few people didn’t show to my sister’s wedding and I thought it was really rude (it turns out they had a somewhat good excuse, though) I’m sorry I wish I had some insight or advice!

Post # 6
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Yay, congratulations!

I would be really upset about this, too. We are having a pretty small wedding and if 20 of the people who have RSVPed yes don’t show it will be SUPER small. 20 people is a lot!

Post # 7
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I would definitely be bummed too! BUT just to give you an idea of what can happen…my Mother-In-Law received one invitation for her, her husband, myself and my fiance and my sil and her husband.  We told her that myself and my fiance would not be attending the wedding or reception and she RSVP’d yes for us anyways hoping that we would change our minds(which we didn’t and I had no idea she had rsvp’d yes for us until after the wedding).

I felt horrible when I ran into the couple and they knew that we didn’t show up and my Mother-In-Law and SIL still bring it up saying it was rude of us not to go when we had already RSVP’d that we would and that we better hope people don’t do the same to us!!  I didn’t say anything as I know we would just end up arguing about it but it still makes me angry and this was a year ago.

Post # 9
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry you had such rude and inconsiderate responses! My thought is that these people RSVP’ed without looking at their schedules and realized later that they had a conflict. And rather than telling you that they would not be attending, they just left you hanging.

Some people just don’t understand the importance of an RSVP and contacting the couple if their status changes!

Post # 10
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@lilcfitness: I know how you feel….we also had a large handful of guests who were "no shows." I felt it was rather rude, and am still unsure how to address them (our wedding was 3 weeks ago).

Looking forward to checking back into this board, in regards to advice on how to address these MIA guests. 

Have any past brides actually addressed this with their no shows? Not that I would like to confront them. I’m just curious on how various people have handled this situation, or if they just swept it under the rug. (It’s too important of a day to miss without offering an excuse, in my opinion!)

 

Post # 11
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Wow, I’m sorry, that is rude.

Though, to be fair to the texting guy, if I were a mom and Fiance left me with the sick kids to go to a party (even a wedding!) I’d be really pissed.  Sometimes things do just come up that are beyond your control.  It would have been nice of him to call the best man earlier in the day to give you all the heads up, though.

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Wow, sorry to hear that! WE didn’t have any no-shows, only one couple ended up not making it but they let us know a couple days in advance.   I don’t think there is any good reason to not to show up without a heads up phone call/email BEFORE the wedding short of a major life situation (sickness does not count!)

But congrats on the wedding!! I know you had some issues the week before so I am very happy to hear it went well overall.

Post # 13
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh wow, I’m sorry to hear about this.  I’m glad your wedding was beautiful and it was still a good time, but still, yes, so wrong on their part.

My sister’s wedding last summer was kind of the same, but for the ceremony instead of the reception.  Only about 30 people showed up to the ceremony and then those people plus 70 more people showed up at the reception.  It also would have been nice that the 20 people who didn’t RSVP would have, the hall was too small almost.  Knowing there were supposed to be 100 people at her wedding ceremony and less than half, a big bummer for her.

Post # 14
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

wow, that is a lot of people to not show up! And a lot of money too! Sorry about that!

I too am interested in how people have addressed those who didn’t show up (like miss P.G. asked) and how you addressed those who showed up but didn’t RSVP or RSVPed "no."  Just curious!

Post # 15
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

I think you are completely justified in being upset over this.  It seems like every wedding has a few yeses who never show, but 20 is a lot!  Especially when you have to pay for them.  I’m sorry this happened to you, but I hope everything else was great.  Congratulations on your wedding!

Post # 16
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh my goodness – how rude to skip the ceremony and only come to the reception!

The topic ‘Why RSVP “yes, if you are just going to NOT SHOW!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors