(Closed) Why so interested? (Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Why is he making all the decisions for your life for you?  Does he do this in other ways too?

Post # 4
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

On second thought, if he insists on a cruise and complains about me deducing we’d have to get married in May, I might do a January wedding. Outdoors. In Missouri. He can freeze before he makes me fry.

I was all prepared to be sweet and compassionate and then this just made me LOL!

Does he know how long it takes to plan a wedding/how fast places get booked up? Maybe it would be an eye-opener to him and he’d realize that if he wants to be married by 25, he needs to get a fire lit under his butt.

Totally can’t blame you for being annoyed, girl!

Post # 5
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I do agree that you should talk to him and tell him how long it takes to plan a wedding.  Just let him know that, don’t go into more detail than that.

Post # 6
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

Missouri weather is crazy, but tell him that no matter where he goes, it’s either going to be too hot or too cold. Plus Missouri is awesome.

That aside, he should not be making all these decisions. This should be a compromise between the two of you. If you want to get married in the city, which has more options and fewer living together restrictions, it is a point you should be allowed to offer up and defend. (Just an example.)

Also, is he not taking into consideration YOUR health when planning the honeymoon? It’s supposed to be an enjoyable trip for the BOTH of you. Not just him. And he is not worried about you at all it seems.

You two need to sit down and talk immediately. You need to discuss that planning a wedding takes awhile and that you need to get started ASAP if you want to be married by the time he is 25. That aside, you need to really look at this relationship and see if he is making demands in all the other aspects. Make sure you get your point heard and if he turns down everything, I hope you fight for what you want!

Much love and luck from another Missouri gal!

Post # 7
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

The only venue that will accept couples who have previously lived together costs several thousand dollars

I’m sorry, I’m stuck on this part. I shouldn’t be surprised because I know MO is like bible belt zone, but how would they know if you live together?

Post # 8
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Can I just ask why his age is such a factor? Has he got a life calendar all worked out, or is competing with friends, or planning ahead for kids/career etc?

Sorry to say it, chick, but he does sound very controlling.

Post # 9
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Miss Tattoo: Sounds like a small town situation where everyone knows everyone else’s business.. Is that it?

Post # 12
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There aren’t any other venues, like restaurants with private rooms, or hotels with ballrooms?

Post # 14
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Personally, I like the backyard idea – it’d save money that can go towards whatever honeymoon you choose.  I think you both ahve an idea of what a “wedding” should be, but might not have communicated to each other what you’ve pictured.

I was shocked years back to find out that my live-in SO of over a decade (yes, we’re slow – don’t get me started) didn’t find a Justice of the Peace ceremony acceptable, that he wanted a church or destination venue (we don’t attend church – I think he’s unaware that pretty much ALL churches require at least a few months of pre-marital counseling these days).  Lately, he mentioned his ideal honeymoon as a great but expensive location, and that if he could afford it, that’s where he’d want to get married.  It was all a shock to me, as I’d givne it some thought in the deep-dark corners of my mind, but had not allowed myself to become attached to any one thing so I’d be happy no matter what, but I”m the GIRL – I’m SUPPOSED to daydream about weddings.  He’d never, ever mentioned it till those few times – it was a verboten subject.  I’d figured he’d just want to get it over with, nothing fancy at all, and here he is with a more eleborate plan than I’d ever dreamed.

Ask him to tell you what he’s imagined as your “perfect” wedding day, then tell him yours.  Outdoor weddings are always risky with the weather, but you can rent very nice tents for the reception and and they have awesome outdoor heaters these days which can make even frigid outdoor events comfortable – besides, there’s nothing wrong with the groom wearing gloves until the ring exchange – they can even look nice with the right suit/tux. 🙂

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