(Closed) Why strip clubs?

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Strip clubs don’t bother me in theory although I’ve never been to one.  I have met a couple of female strippers who were very nice people.  The only male stripper I’ve ever seen was at a bachelorette party.

However, I asked my Fiance about it when we first started dating.  We are very sexual and sometimes watch porn together (not often, but occasionally), so I was curious as to his thoughts about strip clubs.  He’s been to a few when he was younger and single. 

He said he always thought it was strange and a little skeevy to be in a room with a bunch of guys getting hard dicks over some strangers who they couldn’t even touch.  He said he thought it was kinda stupid and a waste of money. 

He associates sex very closely with love anyway, so for him having sex needs to be a more emotional and intimate act than just watching some girls dance around.  He said it was boring getting aroused with nothing to be done about it.  I did volunteer to go with him, if he wanted to, but he said no, he wasn’t interested.  I would not want him going without me, now that we are together.

Edit:  I sometimes wonder if the whole strip club thing is just a type of “male bonding” ritual.  I’m so glad my Fiance plays golf with his buddies for that, lol. 

Post # 18
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it bothers you that much, he shouldn’t go. There are obviously women that are fine with it, and then there are a lot of women who are not. To me, the solution is simple, if you don’t want your man going, or if it makes you uneasy, find a man that doesn’t need or want to go. There are PLENTY of amazing guys out there who dont care to ever step foot in one of those establishments.

Post # 19
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@blueskies7:  Perfectly stated!  I found one.  Smile

Post # 20
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

I understand where you are coming from. My SO is big, and I mean big, about going to the strip club. It has more to do with his own insecurities about his looks and having women (even though they are paid to do so) fawn over him, just makes him so excited. It’s kind of silly and for the most part I don’t have a problem with it.

Our first Valentine’s Day (we had been together for 3 months) we went to New Orleans for a romantic weekend, and ended up going to my first stripclub. It was, surprising, very fun! He bought me lots of drinks and we sat right at the stage. The girls were super nice to both of us, and in the spirit of things, I bought him a lap dance as a VDay gift lol. The girl was super sweet and kind of spazzy and she let me go with them during the dance. 

We went to another club that had what I will call “real” strippers. The scary kind. He wanted a lap dance by this beautiful dark haired girl with lots of tatoos. I could not do it. It hit too close to home, as she was exactly his type. She was all over him and told him she would take him to the back chateaus and he could “do whatever he wanted with her” uh, no sir! so we got out of there pretty quickly, to his extreme disappointment,but hey, you have to draw the line somewhere. My advice is to go with him, most of the girls are super sweet and would rather be all over you than the guys anyway. Kiss

Post # 21
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@txbella:  Why is it unrealistic to think his wife will be the only naked woman he’ll see? Besides the occasional scene in a movie.. I do not believe you should be seeing anyone naked, besides your SO. (I am not judging. If that is okay in your relationship, then I respect that. I am just curious why you think it’s unrealistic for a man to only see his wife naked?)

OP, I am right there with you. I am, in no way shape or form, okay with strip clubs. Luckily my Fiance is not at all interested in them, so it’s no problem. He also would never be okay with me going to a male strip club. We both share the same feelings on this subject.

Post # 22
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - establishment theatre

im pro strip club! my FH and I go together and I think I have almost as much if not more fun than he does (im bi)! I look at it this way, hes getting all stirred up watching tits and ass and guess who he comes home to? me! i get the perks!! and I know when he gets home its all about me and hes not focused on what got him riled up but on me, I get all that pent up sexual energy, so I really dont see the negative side, I trust him completly and I know that hes not playing grab ass, but if he wants to look at some tits and ass, why not?!  all men look at woman, whether its in line at the grocery store, at the beach, at the mall, car shopping, at the strip club ect. and if hes not looking hes either gay, or feeling guilty about something….

Post # 24
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@ForeverBlessed:  I was wondering about that, too, lol.  There isn’t any reason for my Fiance to be seeing another naked woman, ever, besides me.  Except on the screen, I’m fine with that.  He’s all over me when we watch porn anyway, he barely even watches it.

My question would be why WOULD a committed man be seeing any other naked women?  Haha! 

I also agree that, unless we go together, neither of us are going to any strip clubs, male or female.

Post # 25
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@ForeverBlessed:  you took my post and ran with it. im not stating what i said to be fact, it was posed as a question to the OP. hence the question marks leading after.. you dont want your SO looking at other women thats your perogative.

Post # 26
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@penguinof3:  i bet the girls pay attention more to you then him ; )

Post # 27
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - establishment theatre

yes, yes they do! lol which he doesnt mind one little bit!!! I think he has more fun watching me with the dancers than anything lol. and I completly enjoy it! its a night of fun of us then we go home and have our own fun 😉

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