(Closed) Why the hostility over themes?

posted 8 years ago in Themes
Post # 3
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My theme is christmas. the way I see it as Im spending A LOT on decor and Ill be able to use it forever! Christmas is my favorite thing and anyone who doesnt like it too bad 🙂

Post # 4
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think the problem comes when people go overboard with a theme, or pay more attention to the theme than things such as the vows. Personally, I think themes are a great way to narrow down a vision, but one has to do it tastefully and appropriately.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think some people just don’t understand that a “theme” can mean different things. Most people, prior to actually planning a wedding, probably think of a theme as exclusively a “child’s birthday party” type thing (“clowns!” “dora the explorer” “candy land!”). But, actually, it’s a really great term to use when describing the feel and look of an event. I think there’s just a disconnect in the different ways to use the term, and of course people are about 1000x more snotty on the internet than they are in real life….so it comes across really negatively!

Post # 6
Member
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally, I haven’t noticed any backlash about themes.

I have however, noticed that sometimes when someone asks for feedback about any topic-theme, colors, centerpieces etc,neither they nor some of their readers are prepared to accept any negative opinions. If you only want posts from those who agree with you, why bother to post?

These boards can be a great opportunity for constructive criticism and expansion of an original idea if one is open to it.

Post # 7
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

“Theme” usually doesn’t equate “decor” or “inspiration” to most people.

Usually when you hear “Theme” it means something like: Vegas, Under the Sea, Hoedown, Carnival, Medieval Times, etc.

A theme is usually a representation or a recreation of something else. Most commonly themes are used for parties and runs thought out the ENTIRE event (food, decor, activities, music etc).

If that’s the mindset most people come from then a theme is fine for a party but a wedding should be a nicely decorated affair sans lion tamers, coconut bras and cirque de soleil acrobats.

“Decor” or “Inspiration” usually means the look and feel of an event and how it’s styled. It usually is just colors or perhaps a nod to something (peacock feathers, birds, vintage, fruit, nature).

Post # 8
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think themes (even whacky ones) are great if it represents the couple. A wedding should express the couple whether it seems a little out there or not – its their day. We had a very simple wedding but I know our friends next summer are doing something really out there – but they are both such fun outgoing creative whacky people, so it suits them. I dont think that theme weddings necessarily pay less attention to vows or the union of marriage but their theme itself can sometimes incorporate what they mean to each other and how they see themselves as a couple.

All I know is I love going to weddings and I always hope that each one is different, which they are. I always take something different away from each of them. I think its awesome seeing what different things people do for their weddings and how they represent themselves as a couple.

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think afbacher said it best – the issue isn’t with themes themselves but more so when they are overdone and overemphasized, especially when they take away from the truely important part of the day: the ceremony and vows.

Post # 10
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with camrie and afbacher. A theme can take a wedding design to the extreme (by definition), which would explain why some people are so adamantly against them. Most often, good style is about balance and combining things in moderation. Too themey and you lose style rather than gain it. Whenever I see a super themed wedding it makes me think the couple is a tad…obsessive, haha. But, if it makes them happy, it makes them happy. No reason to complain about that. 

Post # 11
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

@mishelleez: I love your Christmas theme!!! It’s both fun and smart. 🙂 If I lived in a place with four seasons, I’d definitely do a winter wedding.

Post # 12
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@camrie — what she said! 

I posted on an earlier thread that I didn’t go for a theme for my wedding.  It wasn’t a diss on weddings with themes but simply just a personal choice I made.  I have been to enough weddings so my overall opinion was that “themes” can photograph well and look good in snippets and on blogs, but the experience in person can be underwhelming or half baked.  I feel like you have to be really creative and committed to a “theme” and I knew that I would not be able to pull it off in the way I woud.  So I just wanted my overall decor to be elegant and pretty with very well-executed details. 

Post # 13
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What you’re probably reading is backlash against the extreme theme you see made fun of on the internet. To take an example mentioned, I highly doubt that people really dislike a Christmas “themed” wedding that uses Christmas trees and decorations as decor. They probably would react differently, though, to a wedding with Mr and Mrs Claus getting married accompanied by their elves.

Post # 14
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Don’t know how to answer your question, but I see you are getting married in October and wanted to tell you I saw a great fall wedding theme/decor(pictures) from someone I grew up with. She used pumpkin orange, yellow, a burnt reddish color, and a chocolate brown. They used a lot of fallish decor: pumpkins, leaves, etc. They had a popcorn bar. Just though I would throw this out to you.

Post # 15
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

because sometimes when people get too into their “theme” the whole idea is over done..to the point that its tacky and looks childish.. people often expect  a wedding to differ from an ordinary theme party in that there is already a theme of love and a certain level of elegance n sophistication that is expected no matter how casual the wedding is. in the even everyone is allowed to do it their way but dont expect everyone to love it

Post # 16
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think for me, a theme is a way to express our personal style with colors and interests. And I wanted to narrow down our decor not just from colors but to a theme as well. I tend to be someone with too many ideas so a theme keeps me grounded and focused. This way I wont end up with a mishmash of just a bunch of things I think look pretty.

I say people should do what they want with their wedding no matter how they decide to do it. Everyone is different.

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