(Closed) Why there is no such thing as "the dress" — (Dress regret)

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Can you relate to this article?

    150% yes - hit the nail on the head!

    Somewhat can relate

    Nope- loved my dress, said yes and never looked back/never questioned my choice

  • Post # 2
    Member
    914 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    lori85 :  I love, love, love this! For me, I can’t picture myself in a traditional wedding dress, and part of me feels like a big weirdo because of it. I love how the author talks about the wedding industrial complex, but also how her own ideas of what her dress would look like has changed over the years. 

    It’s great!

    Post # 3
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee

    THIS.

    I do exactly what she described to pictures of myself in dresses I haven’t even bought yet. This makes me want to go buy the chiffon dress I loved at Davids Bridal.

    Post # 5
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee

    Dress shopping is nuts! When I got engaged, I decided that I like short/mid length dresses and that bridesmaids dresses would give me the most options. Well, so we went shopping and only looked at the bridesmaids collections. We ordered a dress and I wasn’t happy from the time that we ordered it until I had tried on actual wedding dresses.

    I told myself that I wanted to try on wedding dresses just to be sure that the whole Wedding Dress thing wasn’t actually my thing. Getting into the undergarments to support the wedding dresses told me exactly what I had always known. They are tight and the dresses are heavy and it wasn’t something that I wanted for my day.

    Has that stopped me from ordering a few other vaguely ivory/gold party dresses becuase I still wasn’t sold on the first one? No. I have three of them in my closet. But they all cost under 200 and can be worn other places so I don’t feel too bad.

    Dress regret it crazy. I want to be able to wear it again somewhere. I want to be able to dye it a color and wear it to a party.

    Post # 6
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I totally relate to this! I love my dress — it was the second one I put on, and it checked off everything I was looking for. And I felt fabulous in it. Of course, when you tell people you only tried on 2 dresses, they start to look suspicious, like you didn’t put enough work into the process. I don’t believe there’s one dress. I believe that if we choose something we feel good wearing and feel beautiful in, then that’s all that is required. If I’d waited for “The One,” I don’t know if I’d ever have found it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Yes!  I always thought I would end up in a sparkly mermaid up until about 6 months before getting engaged when I saw this dress I loved on pinterest.  Once I got engaged it was the 1st dress I tried on and I bought it right there (it was a sample at a going out of business sale).  I started to doubt my decision once I showed it to a couple friends who were noticeably shocked and I think disappointed that I picked a ballgown over a mermaid (my everyday style is pretty sleek and not princess-like AT ALL).  I started to think about all those years of mermaid love and started having dress regret :-(.  I thought I made a decision too quickly (I even ended up going to 2 other salons to try on more dresses weeks later).  Then I realized I was letting OUTSIDE opinions get in my head, I chose that dress and it made me feel special and was exactly how I want to feel on my wedding day.  Now I am back to being 110% happy with my dress.  Just like the article said, that ONE dress doesn’t exist, its a combo of all you dreamed about throughout the years.  We put sooooo much pressure on ourselves to make this day and everything surrounding it “perfect” and in reality we all know perfect doesn’t exist.  It literally is just a dress (just a very expensive one).

    Post # 8
    Member
    3855 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

     Nope. Don’t relate to this at all. My specifications for a dress were: under $300 and didn’t make me look fat. I tried on 6 dresses, loved the 6th one, bought it, and haven’t thought twice about it since. The dress has no bearing whatsoever on my day, on my wedding, or on the marriage itself (as long as it doesn’t like…fall off or spontaneously combust lol). I even let Fiance see it because he is the person who’s opinion I value above all others. He loved it too..boom…done. I bought it consignment so I wasn’t contributing to the ridiculous consumerism surrounding THE WEDDING and I will donate it when I am done with it. I look pretty in it, I will enjoy it while I am wearing it and will float around like a princess, but I guess I’m just not the second guessing type and I don’t give 2 shits about what the “wedding industrial complex” thinks I should be doing.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I do not relate to this article but I think I may have had an atypical dress shopping experience.

    I went to shop with my mother, without intending to buy – just to get an idea of what I liked, what suited me, and see what prices were like. I went to two shops and tried on three gowns total. At Alfred Angelo I tried on 2 dresses, neither of which I cared for. We went to a smaller bridal salon on a whim – it was next door to the restaraunt we decided to have lunch at.

    The owner was magnificent, she asked me what kind of look I was going for and once I told her she pulled it immediately. I had thought those tearful brides on Say Yes to the Dress were full of it until I saw myself in my gown.

    That doesn’t mean that this is the case for everyone – everyone will have a different experience but for me, there definitely was a THE dress. I purchased more than a year out from my wedding and have never once questioned my decision.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    lori85 :  This article resonates with me SO much. Not only just about my dress, but my entire wedding. Its something you build up in your mind for your whole life (for some people, like me), but when it comes down to it, its just a regular day, and couldn’t live up to this magical, dreamlike, fairytale, ever-changing vision I’ve always had. I want to elope to the top of a mountain in Iceland, I want to get married in the middle of a forest, in the dead of winter on a snowy field, on top of a cliff surrounded by the sea. I mean I LOVE my venue, but I only will get to pick one and that’s it!! Same goes for my dress. I ADORE it. But I’ve picked it and now that’s it, I will never get to try a different style, silhouette, colour etc. It just becomes so real and I wish I could get married (to my fiance) over and over and over! Looks like I will have to either have 6 daughters or make a massive career change to be a wedding planner! 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018 - Aspen, Colorado

    I’ve read this article a while back, before my fiancé proposed but after we had agreed that it would happen soon. I love it (and most things on Offbeat Bride)! I knew we were going to do things untraditionally and I was very nervous about going dress shopping since I’d have to do it alone. I was prepared, in part to that article, to not have a reaction to “the one” or even find one that made me feel emotional. I knew that at the end of the day it’s just a really nice dress. It has no bearing on my marriage or wedding or anything. 

    That being said, I completely surprised myself when I tried on the second dress at the second bridal shop I visited. It made me feel so beautiful and yet it wasn’t what I had pictured myself loving. I cried haha. I said yes and that was that (well kind of, I did also buy a reception dress which I also love). But I think not having such high expectations and not putting pressure on myself to find “the one” really made dress shopping such a great experience. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3647 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I don’t really relate to the article. I went to several bridal salons and tried on a bunch of dresses. At the third salon I tried on a dress and I said, “This is it. This is the one. I’m done shopping.” I liked it, I felt good in it, and I looked good in it, and I figured that’s all that mattered. No regrets or second thoughts.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Can’t relate to this really.

    It was love at first sight with my dress. It’s an off-shoulder 50s vintage and 100% ‘me’.

    I have never doubted the choice and everytime I see it I love it all over again.

    I’m sad I only get to wear it once. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I can’t relate, I’m sorry…

    I did not pick a “wedding” dress. I picked a formal gown off the rack that embodies my current style and asked to have it made in white. I did not take pictures of the dress and I won’t when it comes time for the fitting either…I don’t feeel an ounce of insecurity or “dress regret” because I picked a dress that I would wear to an event, and NOT a “wedding dress”.

    🙂

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    8674 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

     I don’t tend to get purchase regret.  I puchased my car after having only realized I *wanted* a car less than 2 weeks before.  I was on my way to go get a car I’d finally chosen, decided to stop and test drive the Nissan Versa, and bam I bought it on the spot.  No regret–it has issues, but I know it was a good choice, nothing is perfect, and that it served me very well for what I needed it for.  (Looking to trade it in now that we’re about to start TTC–its back seat safety is subpar).

    I am the same with my dress and most purchases in life.  So long as it’s good enough, I’m happy.  I didn’t need to be the most perfect princess on my wedding day.. I just wanted to feel beautiful.

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