Post # 1
I feel like a child covetting a toy. “It can be my birthday,christmas,anniversary present” lol.
My SO told me we can open the ring discussion back up in September, with a proposed proposal at the end of the year, but definatly before V-day.
My birthday is coming up this week and my SO just told me he is taking me to see our favorite band Incubus perform with Linkin Park at Jones Beach! WOOOHOO WOOT, Right?
Thankfully he told me this in text and I was able to hide my bummed-outness with smily emotocons. I remember telling him I really want nothing at all one day and he blew it off and called it the BS it was. But what I really ment was, “please get me nothing at all if it is not a ring. I want no material item that is not small, circular and fits on my left 4th finger, shiny optional.”
So I will suck it up and be greatful that my wonderful SO is going to take me to see an amazing concert for my birthday with our favorite band that we once spent 5 hours making out to back when we first started dating (5 years ago today since that makeout session.)
Who knows, maybe we will revisit that memory at the concert…*Swoon…*
Post # 3
Aw I completly understand. My birthday was in July and I told him I didn’t want any thing at all. He still spent alot of money on me, I would of rather him save his money for the ring.
They just don’t get it!! Well atleast you will have lots of fun at the concert! I went to a concert at jones beach about 2 months ago. The tide was up so the first section was in water and it was raining but when the tide went down we got to finally go to our seats LOL. It was a blast even tho we were soaking wet!
Post # 4
@Sapphire-Dreamer: I can totally relate that is me at every special occasion too. I feel bad but I feel the same way, no matter how nice things he gets me are if they aren’t a ring I am totally bummed out. I am starting to feel like a spoiled brat about the whole thing-so frustrating that they just don’t get it!! Thankfully for me other than our two year anniversary on Sunday we don’t have any special days until Christmas so I get a break soon. I am already working on fake happy face for our anniversary lol. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that he makes the concert REALLY special for you but it will be a good memory no matter what!
Post # 5
haha I love your make out story lol Have fun at the concert 🙂
Post # 6
I’m in the same boat! My Birthday is at the end of September and my SO and I just started a 5 month long LDR. I told him I want nothing other than a ring, I told him to not get me a thing. We’ll see how that one goes. I don’t think he will follow that.
But I agree, it’s hard to really enjoy ANYTHING when you’re waiting! Does your SO give you hints, at all? Mine does a little bit and when he does I write them on my computer calendar on the day he did. Then when I’m having a bad day I go back and read them.
For example, yesterday was our first day of the LDR and I texted him and said, so since you’re gone I really think we need to have a discussion about the timeline (he has’nt given one), because it’s already super hard for you to be gone. Then he responds, well I think your would be tearing up with excitement if you what I’ve been doing today, let’s just say that. I immediately said, OK! Well, I guess if you keep those little things coming we can hold out on the discussion for a bit.
Have y’all looked at rings?
Post # 7
We put the proposal on such a high, high pedestal that everything else just sort of pales in comparison. And it sucks. Looking back, I feel like I didn’t enjoy our anniversary dinner, trip to the zoo or just little fun stuff because I was so anxious about the proposal. I will be so happy when it’s done with so I can go back to being a normal person again!
Post # 8
No hints. I jokingly told him once that the milk expires at the end of the Mayan calendar so he better invest in the cow soon.(effectivly gibing him until ‘The end of the world’ to propose).
Here are the facts:
- he told me that it is HIS job to get the ring and I will know nothing of it
- He said he will be putting is energy into getting the ring starting in Sept.
He will be asking for a raise when he passes his inspection and is up for a couple of bonuses at THE END OF THE YEAR.
He is getting his income tax in feb.
- So this month is off the books.
Effectively giving me a timeline of Sept to v-day.
The biggest hint I get is the way he looks at me when we are alone. It does all wonderful things to my insides.
Plus with the wedding happening soon, his two best friends (The groom and the best man) are preaching to him the greatness of the institution of marraige. They know he had been with me longer then both of their relationships and they both beat us to the altar. They know this. And they love me. So i know they are on my side. They just had the bachlor party so I am sure my SO got an earfull last night. All in my favor.
Post # 9
i hope he gets all your hints right and very soon.
p.s. incubus are awesome! i’m a lil jealous now, lol. 😉
Post # 10
Incubus are epic! So jealous! Have an amazing time.
Post # 11
really don’t think that getting a ring should override how you feel about all these other things that he’s doing with you. is the ring THAT important to you? is it important enough to pale every other experience together? if that’s the case, then I think people are missing the point of what an engagement is … and it’s NOT about the ring.
Post # 12
@strawbs: The rational part of my brain knows that. I have never been that type of girl. He knows all I want in the whole world is just to be his wife. I want THE WORLD to know that him and I are promised to eachother. That is why I want the ring. It is the same reason I was so passionate about getting my school ring. Because I busted my ass for 5 years, paying my own tuition and I wanted to look down at my hand and know and be reminded and have the world see that this belonged to me. Same reason. I have busted my ass with my SO to build a life together. We have put it out for 5 years and damnit i want the ring. It’s him and me, baby, and I want the world to know that. That is why the ring is important. It’s a symbol. It;s a level up. damnit and I deserve that promotion
Post # 13
@strawbs: “and it’s NOT about the ring.” You got a ring as your display pic!
Post # 14
@Sapphire-Dreamer: um yes .. and I didn’t covet it like a kid coveting a toy. you’re allowing a little piece of jewelry to ruin every other experience with your SO that you should be enjoying to the fullest regardless of a ring.
That’s my point.
Post # 15
@strawbs: I feel this is escilating…peace be with you.
The menaing of this post. is so that I could share my feelings. We are all human and exhibit behaviors we do not like, especially in high stress periods. As we know from many post. Many women go ring-nuts at some point. I am not a matiealistic person at all and have always been frugal. I have always HAD to be frugal. Excuse me this one endulgance that I will have for my whole life.
I believe if you look at the OP you will see that i will enjoy this concert. I will allow myself to have a great time and came here, as many of us, to express to the board feelings that we may have touble comunicating with IRL. I am sorry I didn’t put the word VENT on the title because I didn’t expect such a responce.
I came here to express the feelings I experienced in the moment.
@Soon2BD-CBee: I <3 Incubus too. I saw them about 2 years ago at Radio City. It was amazing. And I have never seen Linkin Park either. I know I will have a great time. And I know my SO is going to make it special for me. He is very excited himself.
Post # 16
Totally understand what you mean. It’s not about the ring, it’s about spending your life with him and it being guaranteed and EVERYONE knows it!
For me, I could care less, and I’ve told my SO, that he could propose with a crackerjack ring and I wouldn’t care! It’s just the act of him wanting to commit, fully commit.
And I know you’ll enjoy the concert, you will, and there will be moments during the concert that you don’t even think about engagement, but then when all the hype is over, on your car ride home, you will think about it again and be a little depressed. I totally understand this. This is how I get.
I totally know what you’re going through and I’m going to be a hypocrit but a timeline of Sept-Vday is pretty darn soon!!! I am suspecting/hoping a proposal before December, but I really may be dreaming!
I’m totally here if you want to vent you can message me! I know what you’re going through! I can’t even talk to friends about this stuff, because they totally don’t udnerstand and judge me!!