(Closed) Why? WHY?!?!?!?! ARGH stupid brain!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

First off, we all think bad unfriendly things towards people from time to time. We are human and sometimes, they just come to mind and we can’t seem to control them. It happens to the best of us, so don’t beat yourself up too much about it.

Secondly, since I can’t remember your particular situation, are you eloping? Or just having a super-small & intimate wedding that no one except really close friends knows about? What is your relationship to your friend? Does she know you are getting married?

I’m sorry for all the questions, but I’m trying to get an idea of the situation!

Post # 5
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I definitely think it’s normal to feel stuff like that towards friends sometimes, especially in a situation like yours where you have to be quiet about your wedding while she can talk about hers all she wants!!!

Post # 6
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

People may be questioning the wedding if they haven’t heard a lot about plans from you.  

I love the idea of a bbq! 

Post # 8
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

first of all…you have a totally cool idea! how fun and romantic!

I had very similar feelings you are having toward your friend but toward my sister and my sister is my rock, my friend, hell she even raised me! she was a big gal, weighing over 280 at one point and she stopped drinking soda and took a 2 mile walk every saturday and lost a little over 50lbs in a year. 

i was disgustingly jealous and i was not supportive or caring at all. see…i work out all the time and am almost always on a “diet” and i have lost a measly 30lbs in like 3 years! UGH! it is so hard. it was so tough to watch her eat a big mac and still loose a pound that week while i am sweating my ass off and starving to lose a pound a month. but….

i just now recently got over it. I finally decided to be happy for her. and realize that she did work hard for her weight loss and she does deserves it. also, i am thankful that she is healthier and will be around longer. i cannot believe how selfish i was. i thought awful things, i even pushed her to drink a soda a couple of times. what the hell is wrong with me? why? i honestly was affraid taht she would be skinner than me…

why the hell does that matter? seriously. 

my long and drawn out point is that we, for some reason, think awful thoughts about the ppl we love for different reasons; usually becuas eof jealousy. I am not saying that you are jealous of your friend but there is a little part of you that probably wants to  be updating your fb status about wedding planning and talking about it with all yoru friends. 

just dont feel guilty..it is normal. but…try to remember, she is not doing anything wrong. embrace your decision..you will have a pretty cool story to tell for a very long time 😀

 

Post # 9
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Oh ok 🙂 Now I know what’s going on with ya..

I think everyone has felt like this at one time or another, and it usually does stem from jealousy, be it something big or small. In all honesty, I have sometimes looked at other bees wedding pics (colors, dresses, etc) and had jealous thoughts like “why didn’t I pick those colors?” or “I wish I would’ve had that dress” but I just have to remember, it’s about WHO I married, not what I was wearing or how many people were there.

You have decided to have a secret wedding (which I think is pretty cool) and that’s your thing. I think it will be cool to announce it to your family afterwards! As for your friends, hopefully they will be extremely happy for you and be able to celebrate your marriage to the man you love, even if they didn’t get to be in on it!

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