(Closed) Why, why does everyone have dress regrets?

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I do not have dress regret, and I STILL look at dresses online, in magazines, in blogs, etc.  You’re right, there is no way to try on every single dress in the world, but for me, there is no harm in looking.  I picked my dress and I’m sticking to it.  There is no way I will buy another dress just because it’s “more perfect” or because I “love it” more.  I know I will rock my dress and look/feel gorgeous on my wedding day.  In fact, I’m more worried about things I cannot control (ie random pimples, being on my period, obnoxious guests) than I am about my dress.  Undecided

Post # 33
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

There’s a TV show devoted solely to telling brides that out there exists THE DRESS, the one that will make their day perfect, cause them to look fantastic in every single picture, and be alone responsible for the alignment of the planets. There’s no “Say Yes to the Venue” or “Say Yes to the Photographer”, but there is this whole weird mythos about women having a MOMENT when trying on dresses. And contrary to all of this, I did NOT have a moment when I put on the dress I ended up buying, and I suspect there will always be a tiny part of me wondering – “What if I had tried on just a few more dresses? Gone to just one more bridal salon? Would I have had *that* moment?”

Post # 34
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I suspect for some brides, it’s because there are thousands of dresses out there, and there are pictures everywhere of other women wearing these dresses and looking gorgeous in said dresses.

I agree that while it’s ok to look at pretty dresses online, it’s counterproductive to try on other dresses once you’ve put a deposit/ordered your dress.  To be dramatic thats the dress equivilent of trying out other boyfriends after you’ve accepted a proposal. You can look at all the lovely boys, but you cant try em on for size.

I love my dress. Are their other dresses I wanted to try on but didnt get the chance before I found it? yup.  I had been all geared up for a long winding road to finding it. Instead it was at the first shop I went into. Not the first dress. But still first shop.

I am devoted to my dress. Could there be a more perfect dress out there for me? ::snort:: possibly.  But I’m not going to torture myself by allowing the what ifs.

If you would like a tip to help you fall back in love with your dress (this is from my sister in law, who had dress regret until she reigned herself back in)…add some elements, be it shoes, veil, accessories, jewelry, decor, or heck even the bridesmaid dresses that match what you have.

Make finding a new dress and therefor changing something, or several somethings a hassle. Make the dress you have..yours.

Post # 35
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

i feel fortunate that everything (so far) in wedding planning has been easy…that said I have no dress regret…I love it and always will.  I stayed true to me and it fits the venue and feel of the wedding.  I think if you don’t get so fixated and carried away with finding a dress…you will find one that you love.

Post # 36
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I cried when i tried mine on so thats how i knew! And this was after trying on a million others in completely different styles, it was total opposite of what i originally was looking for

Post # 37
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

“Teaparty”, I am the EXACT same way.

 

For such an indecisive person, I made SUCH  a quick decision… So I’m really worried. we had the moment, where I wept, my maid of honor wept, and my mom wept. But I’m still regretting…

 

Then my fiance reminded me that when we bought my car, I wondered for a week if it was the right car for us after all.. for the future, for our future kids… I really did regret buying it. When he reminded me of this, I had totally forgotten that I had EVER regretted buying that car and now I LOVE IT.

 

I’m hoping the same thing happens with this dress.

 

And it’s NOT AT ALL about my fiance, about the congregation.. its about ME, how do I feel and how do I think I look? Because everyone can tell me I am beautiful, and I can even believe them, and think, yeah, they think I’m beautiful in this dress, so I must be beautiful to everyone in this dress… But what do I think? How do I think I look?

 

I’m thinking that I should wait a week and if I still even remember that I had regrets, then maybe try on the other one… (If I can wait that long…)

 

(What happened to me is that I fell in love with a dress when I first got engaged, and its the only dress I’ve loved.. but when I tried on dresses, I forgot about that one… I forgot to take a pic with me, and everything.)

 

I can’t even decide what I am going to eat at a restaurant!! and yet I picked out my dress in a day, the 6th or 7th dress I have EVER tried on… the first store, the first day.

 

The first one is my dress.. the second one is the dress I fell in love with when I first got engaged.

I am 5’4, longer torso, short short legs. Pretty busty for being so petite.

 

[attachment=532140,69874] [attachment=532140,69875]

Post # 38
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

likearushingriver:

Your dress is beautiful! It is romantic and elegant. I really do like it better than the alfred angleo.


Post # 39
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just wanted to say that I didn’t have dress regret and I never had one doubt!

Post # 40
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - Organic farm an hour from San Francisco

I had regrets about my dress for a while, I blogged about it.

I think this happened to me for a few reasons…

I had never thought about a wedding or engagement until it happened, and even when I was engaged, I didn’t want a wedding.  Mr. GB and my mom sat me down and told me I had to have one… obviously I gave in or I wouldn’t have anything to blog about, but I was a very reluctant bride.  Since wedding was never on my radar, I never looked at wedding mags or dresses until it was time for me to buy one.

You have to buy your dress super early.  I ordered my dress before I had a venue nailed down, so I didn’t realize I was going to be walking on grass/dirt/mud all day until months after the order was in.  After booking vendors, I realized my dress didn’t 100% match the feel of my wedding and was not the most practical for the setting.

Again with not being very bride-like, I am not romantic or emotional… so I didn’t have a “THE DRESS” moment.  I also have social anxiety, so having shop girls all around me trying to talk to me makes me very very nervous and uncomfortable, so I wanted in and out as quickly as possible.  I definitely felt pressured and a desperate need to make a decision so I could get out.

 

In the end, I went with the original dress and I don’t regret it.  It seems silly when I look back about how much stress I had (the evil alterations woman did not help) but I know why I had doubts.

Post # 41
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I cancelled my other dress! And got a full refund because it was before 10 days. I am getting Alfred Angelo 2049!

Its exactly what I described to the DB consultant! But NEVER got. I went into a private shop in my small town and found the Alfred Angelo I LOVED.

I described this to my consultant at DB: “I want a strapless, lightly beaded, fitted bodice, with a plain skirt but with pickups, I LOVE pickups!” AND I found THAT DRESS.

I am sooo glad I went with my instincts!!I got pressured into a sale because it was the “less of all evils” and I “didn’t have much time, and couldn’t go home and sleep on it.” AND i did like it at the time, but JUST LOOK at the picture, it looks HORRID on me!! Im so glad I looked for another dress! I am soo happy now!!!

I recommend ALL brides to be part of the selection process… If you go somewhere where the consultants go alone, GO WITH THEM and DON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!I was able to PICK OUT and GO THROUGH the entire dress selection in this store by myself, AND I ALONE picked out the BEST dress for me!! The big poofy dress is the old dress… the long, wonderful amazing dress with 2 pics is my new one! you can’t see the wonderful pickups on the other side of the dress that come cascading down, but its beaauuutiful.

 

[attachment=534014,70137] [attachment=534014,70138] [attachment=534014,70139]

Post # 42
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I too was very worried about my dress, because I never got that “feeling.”  At least not for a long time.  I agree with what others have said about having too many choices, and about the pressures brides can feel. 

I also think that a lot of brides spend substantial sums of money on their dress- and when you spend that kind of money, you start expecting the dress to be more than a dress!  For that amount of money, it really ought to make you dinner too!  And in my case, I stressed a lot about looking perfect in it.  I put SO much pressure on myself that I totally stopped enjoying the process for a while- I was hungry from dieting and stressed about perfection and it was NOT fun.  But ultimately, when I gave up trying so hard, and decided to stop worrying about having that “feeling” I felt like I was missing, guess what?  I went to my last fitting and got the feeling!  Who knew?!

Some people actually do need another dress for a variety of very good reasons.  But in my case, I just had to learn to ease up on myself!

Post # 43
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, for me the dress was complicated.  I have never been the wedding dreamer type and to be honest before I got engaged I thought that all the drama and fuss around weddings / wedding dresses was ridiculous.  My criteria before I started looking was clean lines, comfortable, good for dancing, reasonably priced and no beading, lace, satin or fluff.  I am an averaged sized girl who generally has no problem finding clothes that flatter so I figured this would be easy and fun. 

Since the nearest concentration of wedding salons is a 4 hour drive away, I started online.  I ordered several dresses.  As they arrived, I tried them on with FH (got to have help with all those buttons and zips); we giggled and discussed and then the dress would go back to the post office.  After the 4th or 5th one I settled on a pale pale pink silk faille strapless a-line knee length dress, that looked fantastic, was fun to dance in and made me smile.  Dress: check!  Easy-peasy, time to move on to tough decisions like the guest list.  I felt smug and happy.  That was September.

By January it had become clear that the dress was not about me.  My proper New England family could absorb neither pink nor knee length.  There was constant distressed comment on all fronts.  They wanted the standard numbers: long white dress, church, gobs of flowers, little bridesmaids all in a row etc.  They gave in on the church; I gave in on the dress. 

So back to J Crew I went, and soon a long parade of dresses were marching through our door.  But none of them suited.  Some were too stiff and some were too itchy but mostly they were all just too ivory.  Fine, I thought, there are a million dresses out there, you just need to expand your horizons a bit. 

And so the hunt began.  Now as all of you know, there is a dizzing array of choices out there and most of them need to be ordered well in advance and then fitted 18 times before d-day.  I had 5 months and no clear plan.   After a month combing the online bridal jungles I had come up with a few possibilities…

[attachment=536516,70458] [attachment=536516,70459] [attachment=536516,70460]

 None of which were actually available.

So things were at an impasse.  And the clock was ticking.

My mother, of course, was dying to lure me into the Boston salons.  I was exhausted and frustrated and considering eloping. 

Then ebay called.  One of my dresses had just been posted.  It was a “buy it now”.  It had been posted for 45 minutes.  I bought it.  It fit perfectly.  It was simple, airy and graceful.  I was happy.  My family was happy.  My FH was very relieved.

  [attachment=536516,70465]

I wore it on my wedding day and felt radiantly lovely.  But I never really felt that it was the only possible dress.  So I didn’t really have dress regret (I wore my little pink to the rehearsal party) but I did have dress stress and I certainly understand the difficulty in trying to remain true to oneself under all the external pressures and constraints that come to bear on the choice of a wedding dress. 

Post # 44
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@treepeony:LOVE THE POLKA DOTS!!

Post # 45
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Because the bridal industry perpetuates the notion that you have to get your wedding dress 9 months before your wedding!  That’s why I bought within 2 months of getting engaged and found the actual dress I loved 2 months before my wedding!

Post # 46
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Well, from my perspective the wedding dress is like the man you want to marry… do you need to try every man available to know who is the one? I don’t know for you, but I didn’t. So no, I didn’t need to try every possible dress to understand which one was the one. I felt it when I found it, precisely the way I felt when I met my FH.

The topic ‘Why, why does everyone have dress regrets?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors