(Closed) Why, why does everyone have dress regrets?

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 47
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

They keep saying this on Say Yes to the Dress too  : “do you need to try every man available to know who is the one?”  No, but what if you never meet the man of your dreams and you never fall in love? But you need to get married anyway so you just SETTLE with a nice man, but you’re not entirely happy? That’s what happened to me (with the dress, not the man). At least if you don’t find the man of your dreams you can stay single or wait, but you DO need a dress to get married in, and you only have so many days to order before it’s too late so some of us have to settle. Kudos to those who found their dream dresses but not all of us are that lucky. And with tens of thousands of dresses out there, if you’re not 100% happy, obviously you’re going to have some regret or keep looking.

Post # 48
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have worried about the dress I’m choosing being the first one I liked on the website, and the first one I tried on in the store.  What if there is something better out there and I haven’t found it since I’m too lazy (and I am lazy, it’s a rotten character flaw).  But much more anxiety for me has been the venue-choosing process.  After all, I will not see me in the dress much, and everyone won’t be looking at me the entire day, but both I and all my guests will be looking at the venue the whole time and I have a thousand what-ifs that could go wrong.  I think I will be taking the advice here and applying it to both the dress and the venue – once they are booked, I will not look at any others! 

Post # 49
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I had dress regret for a while after our wedding, although now I’m totally over it.

I had regrets because I DID find my dream dress … and it was $2000 over my dress budget. In the end, I decided there was just no way I could pay that much for a dress I’ll wear once and resell, and I ended up going in a completely different direction with a knee-length Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in white that was totally my style.

After the wedding, I kept wondering if it would have been worth it to spend that much on a dress because I’ll NEVER get to wear a gown like that ever again. I wear cute vintagey knee-length dresses all the time (although, the one I wore on the wedding day was definitely the most unique one I ever bought). Sometimes I see brides in super amazing gown that I know cost a ton, and I get jealous because they’re just so awesome.

BUT, like I said, I got over it. I love the dress I bought, and I can rewear it for lots of different occasions. In the end, on my wedding day, I felt like I could have worn any dress, including one I had in my closet, and I would have felt totally wonderful and amazing.

Post # 50
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m glad I read this post, because I need to stop fretting about my dress. I had THE dress moment, the gasp…this is it!  when I ordered it.  But with each fitting, I keep looking around now and look at the others.  I’m def falling out of love with it.  But, oh well, I have 30 days now, so I need to suck it up and enjoy my dress. 

Post # 51
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Awesome post…I made the mistake and ran into David Bridals as soon as I got engaged and found a dress for 250.. on clearance. I JUMPED ON IT!

Only to realize when I got home and looked at the pics on the camera that it just wasnt the one…AHHHHH

I only put 40.00 on it on lawaway so I returned it but went into the 2nd bridal store and went right to my dress on the rack.  I knew it was the one when my mom cried when I turned around.

However, I know my fiance will be pleased with the dress so thats all that matters.

 

Post # 52
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve had other regrets too!!!

There was another venue that I loved but didn’t go with, and I get a little sad when I think about it.

I’ve also just had to stop looking at any other photographers & tell myself that they are probably out of my price range (and also stop looking at ones that I know cost less b/c I kept telling myself I could have been happy with those too & saved like $2,000!).  

AND those are the only things I’ve even sort-of purchased other than my dress.  My invites I am making myself, and have changed the concept a number of times, changed the color scheme, etc. etc.  

I am the kind of person that hates buying things that are non-returnable, so anything that requires a commitment will DEFINITELY be second-guessed by me!  

Post # 53
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

It’s because people have preconceptions about how they’re “supposed” to feel doing this or that. Just feel how you feel and don’t compare yourself with anyone, and life becomes a whole lot easier.  Not a lot of people truly fly by their own opinions and their gut all the time.

Post # 54
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

No dress regret here. Was the third dress I tried on, knew it was perfect for me because I loved it. Didn’t occur to me there may be another one better because I was happy with it. Still love it and can’t wait to wear it in April. It’s true like somebody said above that there can always be something better, but I don’t live my life wondering if there is something better. And my dress will not be my focus on the wedding day. Sure I want to look beautiful and can’t wait for my hair and makeup appt’s. But after that, I won’t even think of my dress much. I’m more excited about the ceremony, people, reception, dancing…that will make me happier than my dress!

Post # 55
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I found myself asking the SAME question the other day…I was wondering “Are some of these ladies just in need of a pep talk about how beautiful they look in their dresses?”  It just seemed like all of a sudden there was one post, and tons more followed….but affter reading everyones replies, I guess everyone has their reasons.  Personally, my dress was the first one I tried on…I feel in love, I felt comfortable and beautiful…didn’t feel like I had to change anything about myself to look amazing on my wedding day…eventhough I’ve still tried to loose a few more pounds…even if I didn’t I knew I’d be happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

HOWEVER…I’ve changed my mind a million times about my bouquet, Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses etc ETC ETCCCC ๐Ÿ™‚  So, I guess I can fully understand! [attachment=750464,96452] [attachment=750464,96453]

Post # 56
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@likearushingriver – Wow! I totally agree with your decision, the dress you chose it gorgeous on you.

My fiance and I got engaged and went to planning our wedding. I went with my BMs to many shops and tried probably 40 dresses before the Ahah! moment…I found it, the one! It fit gorgeous and was so flattering to my figure. I found it on eBay for less than half the price new and it was even altered for a girl that wasthe same height as me (5’2″) it seemed meant to be. But then while we were trying to decide on a date, we got a surprise, we were expecting (guess the lil one just didn’t want to wait for mommy to stop procrastinating). We opted to wait til after the lil one to have the wedding.

Well now it ‘s 2 years and 15 extra baby pounds later. I decided to try on the dress on a whim. It seemed ho hum, so I snapped a couple cell phone pics before my fiance came home and caught me in it. I showed the pics to a couple of my BFFs to get their take, one told me it was pretty (like anyone would tell me it’s ugly) and the other said “Wow! that’s beautiful!” But I’m still not sure, now I keep finding myself looking at other dresses and wondering if I should go back out looking again.


Post # 57
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had dress regret and not ashamed to admit it.

Reason why: I went into the bridal store because I had driven up to our capital city (4hrs away) for a doc appointment and my mother suggested on a whim that we go try some on. I thought this would be fun, I dont have to purchase any. My dress was the 4th out of five dresses on and it was on sale…. and my mum pressured me, I thought I looked ok. (not being the girly girl I am and I liked it)

So the reasons why I bought it was

  1. Mum liked it
  2. it looked good
  3. dress was pretty
  4. it was on sale

reasons why im having dress regret:

  1. the theme and venue location changed and it wasnt quite right
  2. it needed to be altered, neckline and length of dress but I couldnt see the dress in mind
  3. my FH told me it made me look wider than what I was – he had seen it in a picture before it has been altered.
  4. It was an impulse decision and I never usually do impulse decisions

So with those feelings in mind I kinda feel the right to have dress regret. BUT i am sticking with the dress, because I still have a little faith that once altered it would will look better, and FH has since seen it with me on and thinks it will be great.

I have seen so many dresses that are more me, but I didnt research before I went on my trip, because it was an impulse decision. Now with everything im doing the research and learnt from my mistake.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster, but to me, dress was a big decision, to me its like chosing your photographer, or right venue, or the right vows… and I shouldve taken it more seriously and thought about it.

 

Post # 58
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I have to say that I’m somewhat relieved to hear I’m not the only one with dress regret syndrome.  It’s been nearly 4 years since our wedding and it’s still the one thing that haunts me most.  I loved the style of my dress, but sadly enough, was tempted by an amazing ebay price for one that was 4 sizes too big.  I had tried on a sample at the bridal shop (3 sizes too big) and when they pinned it back I thought it would be just fine, so why not order the four-sizes-too-big dress online for loads cheaper?  It couldn’t be that much different, right?!  WRONG.  Since it had tank style straps, the proportions were way off even after the alterations.  Somehow the seamstress convinced me it just looked like an off shoulder gown, and being so busy with wedding planning — I gave up and was happy to have the dress part checked off the list.  Wish I could’ve had input from family and trusted friends, but they were miles away.  It wasn’t until I got our pictures back that I realized how unflattering it was.  It was wide at the waist and the whole bodice would sag if I moved the wrong way.  UGH!  Thankfully I felt pretty on that day, but my heart was broken the minute I saw the horrible pictures.  I’m hearing a lot of brides say they regret their dress choice, but I feel very alone in the “size regret” category.  ๐Ÿ™  Anyone else out there with alteration/size regrets?

Post # 60
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My regret was choosing the dress my family liked, not the one i loved ๐Ÿ™

Post # 61
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@StefanieJay89:  ^ I was actually going to list this as one of the main reasons (pressure from others/wanting to please family, friends, etc.).

Also I think there are several situations where dress regret is highly possible:

  • people who are super indecisive/insecure might have a tough time sticking by their choice
  • people who have trouble figuring out what styles/fits look best on them 
  • people who have no support from friends/family about their dress choice
  • people who ~want it all~

Post # 62
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MlleFabuleux:  ya, im thinking of actually going ahead with my own choice anf forefitting the deopsit on the dress my family likes, what do you think? boards.weddingbee.com/topic/so-confused-14

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