(Closed) Why, why does everyone have dress regrets?

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 63
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@StefanieJay89:  I think if you go with the Maggie, then proper the shapewear is a must. I I actually think the Maggie is much prettier and more youthful (esp. after seeing the Mori Lee w/o the sash). If you think you’re going to get dress regrets not going with the one you love, then go with the Maggie. It’s your day, not your family’s!

Post # 64
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think that the dress is the only place where it’s really all about the bride. Location, venue, decoration, invitation, all off these things are by negotiation with the groom. But the dress? You do it yourself and it becomes a vessel to pour all your wedding and body stress into. 

Post # 65
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Gereally I think the groom is off the hook here, I mean he loves you and really just want you out of the dress. It is ourselves and the other people at the wedding we Fear……

 

I suppose this is because( my thoughts); 

 

1.The bride and groom are in focus at the wedding day above all the rest!( other people are obliged to dress down for the couple to shine)

 

2. we identify with the dress- the dress is you( you probably wont photoshop your way out of it later on)

 

3. Photos of you in that dress will be circulating as “the most beautiful you”  you have  for once had proffessional makeup, hair etc. ( at least this is normal where I come from)

 

4. It is probably the nicest and most expensive dress you will ever buy. Looking back and seeing an “ill fitted”/ ugly, boring, sad dress will be annoying and sad- you missed your shot….

 

5.lots of people are looking at us in it  and we are nervous, putting way more into it than we should.we fear people will be saying -” i dont believe she chose that one it doesn´t fit her at all”

 

6. In a venue I think people are happy if they have been “fed and watered”.People also have an understanding of it being difficult to get a specific venue as well as general organization as many people are new that..  

 

But a dress, we should be able to get that one right-we buy clothes all the time after all….. this shows your taste more than anything else! so failing here feels abit like a personal let-down

 

LOL, funny post- you should count yourself lucky to think like you do:)

 

Best of love for alll dress-regretters and “go-girl ” to anyone being totally happy with their dress.

 

X

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 66
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Aci2:  Your third point is exactly what caused so much indecision for me. There are so many gorgeous dresses out there. All of them look great. Which “look” is the best version of yourself?! 

Angelic and ethereal, flowy chiffon number? The bombshell mermaid gown with finger waves and red lippy? Bling princess ball gown? Boho chic with lots of appliques?

I ended up with what I did mainly because I was just ready to stop shopping. No tears, no “moment”.. I just decided mine was fine and committed. But not being 100% sure, and not having put real effort into visiting more bridal stores made me question my choice a lot. 

Also compounding the problem was my insecurity that everyone would hate my dress. Especially my Mother-In-Law.

Post # 67
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Aci2:  subbing because this thread is interesting, and wanted to say I agree with all you said.

 

If you think about it, regular clothing, even clothes in our closet that we only wear when we go out/to special events are completely different than a wedding dress (because lets face it, there aren’t many opportunities to get that dressed up as adults. No proms, no anything unless  you happen to be an adult that gets invited to formal holiday events and such).

 

I suffered dress regret because of the following reasons

1. dress shopped for the first date we set and it got cancelled (it was heartbreaking but necessary) so that dress kind of reminded me of that whole ordeal.

2. didn’t have half the budget I had second time around, and while I lost a bit on the first dress reselling, it wasn’t a ton thankfully (as I didn’t pay a ton for it in the first place)

3. I jumped way too quickly with the first, only the second salon I went too, really had not done my research, this salon was way overpriced.

4. I loved the feedback I got from family/friends on the first one, but I’ll be honest I never once was told it looked *bad*. Everyone loved it because it was white and pretty lol. When I decided to take a second look I went alone. I kept an open mind with a few exceptions and I found it 3 trips in last dress I tried on.

 

I agree with some of the previous comments that some of us would love to have a wedding dress day a few times a year, I love many styles, I still look at dresses allll the time, but I no longer wonder or want another dress, that to me solidifies the regret and second purchase I went through.

 

That being said I can’t wait to attend some formal events down the road so I can wear some cool formal gowns LOL

 

Post # 67
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

As much as I “loved it” my dress and was excited when i bought it, it just sort of started to sink in around August as i went to dress fittings and everything came together… less than 2 weeks to go now…. I don’t “love” my dress but i don’t mind it…. I did have time to buy off the rack but I stayed away from bridal stores because I needed the money for a house and bills.

Besides the feeling of dress regret sinking in, some people who I’ve shown my dress to have made some comments that didn’t make me feel any better when I had just bought the dress. Comments seem be targeted at the glitter tulle and ballgown silouette on my 5ft figure which they didn’t expect me to go for…

As much as I rant about it, the date is around the corner so Im just hoping for the best and keep my sanity. I tell myself there will be somebody in the crowd who will like my dress and here will always be at least 1 person in the crowd who won’t like the dress simply because they envisioned somethign else on me or chose some other material and silouette for themselves when they got married.

I have slight dress regret but at the end of the day I’m happy that i stayed within budget with the dress including alterations.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  eilatan.
Post # 68
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

GirlWithARing:  so true!! But i think dress regret is easiest to “regret” because 1. It’s easiest to change and 2. It’s easy to get dress regret when all the bees are posting pics of their gorgeous gowns! Most people are not showing pics of their venues, or their DJ or florist. We all share pictures of our dress, and when we see a beautiful dress on another bride, maybe one we didn’t get to try on, dress regret happens. Plus let’s keep it real, it’s part of every little girls fantasy! I know I wasn’t dreaming about my venue as a little kid; it was the dress 🙂

Post # 69
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

ellagrace:  I agree a lot of it has to do with looking at others girls in their dresse. I think it is also the fact that most of us don’t have our dress yet. If it was hanging in our closet and we could look at it, touch it, and try it on whenever we wanted it would me different.

Post # 70
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Just wanted to jump in here. I read some pages but not all so I’m sorry if someone has shared something similar. I don’t regret my dress, per se. I loved it when I bought it (on clearance, no less) and I still love it. However, these are a couple of things that I was indecisive about while buying it:

1. My entire life I wanted to wear a ball gown and I imagined myself in one over and over again. I watch SYTTD and have always disliked the mermaid/fit and flare dresses. Not so much disliked, as I didn’t think the look was for me. Low and behold, I put on a mermaid dress and some fit and flare dresses (after much hesitation) and that’s the kind of dresses that looks best on me. So while I loved the dress I picked (fit and flare), I kept going over the fact that “but this isn’t what I *thought* I would be wearing” in my head. It was almost like I was giving up on my dream just because I looked better in a different type of dress and couldn’t decide what to do for a while there.

2. This is something that only now started happening to me. I googled my dress and was prepared to see other Bees in my dress over the years (I’m pretty sure it’s an older version). Nope! I did not find ONE post where a Bee is talking about it or flaunting it. I started feeling a bit insecure because I kept thinking “WHY didn’t anyone else like this dress enough to talk about it??”. I love the way it fits MY body but at the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder. 🙁

 

Still don’t regret it though! But I do think that if I paid more for it, I would be more inclined to second guess my purchase.

Post # 71
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

This is a phenomenon I also didn’t get.  Reading this thread helps me understand.  I was never that girl that had dreamed and planned the wedding, so i had never envisioned myself in a specific dress.  Prior to going shopping, I did look on pinterest to kind of get an idea of the type of dress I liked.  My plan was to hit about 4 different stores, try on and narrow down and make a final decision.  I went to the first store and loved the first dress I tried on – plus it was a sample gown so I got a much nicer dress than I could afford normally.  It just made me feel so pretty.  I went on to my second appointment at David’s Bridal but as soon as I walked in I realized I had no interest in trying on dresses.  So I went back, bought that one and that was that.

After I bought my dress, I checked that task off the list and moved on.  It never even occurred to me to keep looking at other dresses.  I also haven’t seen my dress since I tried it on originally.  I can’t wait until fitting time.  I bought the dress approximately 2 weeks after I got engaged.

Post # 72
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had dress regret, for a ton of reasons. And the bottom line is that I bought a new one because I could. I wasn’t happy and my fiance wanted me to be and we could luckily afford it. And I don’t really care if that makes me seem arrogant or indecisive or anything else. This is my wedding and it doesn’t affect a single other person outside of me and my fiance. No one else is paying for it, no one else is helping me plan it, no one else is doing anything other than attending and eating my food. We were halfway through planning and had to change everything up…losing all deposits on venue, rentals, etc. Sometimes things change and that’s that. 

Post # 73
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee

tattiibee:  your number two reason is very interesting to me because I feel the exact opposite. the second I see another Bee with a dress i’m interested in or is on my list I dont want it anymore. i think it’s so cute when i read “dress twins!” but i have little interest in being one. now with that said i’m not so obsessed with being ‘original’ or whatever that i need to have a custom or anything but you get what i’m saying. 

 

Overall this thread I think is REALLY helpful in helping others (well me) to avoid having dress regret. What I’ve learned is to try on styles even when you think they wouldn’t work for you. Know your venue/overall feel you want for your wedding in advance…or be prepared to design your wedding around the dress… and MOST importantly pick a dress that YOU FEEL amazing in no matter what. 

Post # 74
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

GirlWithARing:  I just bought my dress Saturday, and although I am not regretting it, I needed this. It gave me a laugh, And I will think back on it if dress regret ever dares to cross me…

Post # 75
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: dont know

I have dress regret because I went without girlfriends (they all ditched me) and my mom (trying clothes on with her stresses me out we have totally different body shapes and personalities). I tried it on at the store then bought it cheaper online. I got it and it’s too big so it needs to be altered and some of the designs are deformed on it so it must’ve been a reject hence the price. I’ve now found a dress I love but it’s more expensive. I guess I was impatient and rushed things, I was also lonely and wanted to feel like I was really getting engaged since my fiance was away.

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