Why won't my friend text me back?

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
7613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

caligirl3 :  as you are a “freaking adult” then you should be aware that people can have things going on in their lives which means maybe the can’t respond ASAP, it’s not like you haven’t heard from her in months. Why don’t you just text her and say hope she’s OK and you look forward to catching up with her. 

Post # 3
Member
2617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

caligirl3 : I would send a message along the lines of: “Hey- I’m not sure what’s going on lately. I was really looking forward to seeing you and taking the Nashville trip. I feel like you stopped talking to me when we were tryint to book it and we haven’t really spoken since. Are you no longer able to go or something? If you can’t that’s fine, just let me know.”

Post # 5
Hostess
7613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

caligirl3 :  but just because you see stuff on social media doesn’t mean she might not have something going on. People only tend to post the good stuff not the bad stuff right? 

Post # 6
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee

I would feel super miffed by this, too.  It’s really inconsiderate of her!  At this point, it’s probably best to send a message or leaving a voicemail telling her you’re disappointed that it looks like the trip won’t be a go, but that you understand if finances or something else have made it impossible for her to make it.  Remind her that she can tell you anything, because you’re friends… and let her know that you’ve missed talking to her these past few weeks. 

And then act the adult in the situation.  If she contacts you and has to cancel, be as understanding as you can.  

Post # 8
Member
965 posts
Busy bee

Is it possible her phone is not getting your texts? I only ask because this happened to me once where my friend was texting me, i replied and she responded days later with hello??? Then we realized something was wrong. So I called her.

Maybe give her a call instead of texting? Leave a voice mail if she doesn’t answer. Then after that if there is no response I’d probably give up.

 

Post # 9
Hostess
7613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

mrspuppylove :  OP should totally give her a buzz and see what’s up. 

Post # 10
Member
4373 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I think it’s safe to say she changed her mind and just doesn’t have the balls to say it. I’d plan your trip, but without her.

Post # 11
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

This would irritate me too. I’d give her a call first. If she doesn’t respond in a day then I’d consider the trip canceled.

Post # 12
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

caligirl3 :  I think MsBeer : ‘s comment is most unhelpful. Of course you are within reason to expect a response relatively soon. At the very least, a response to the effect that she is trying to plan and work things out and will get back to you by x date is reasonable.

Whether or not your friend is normally a flake, this is what is known as flaky behaviour. Very likely, some things have come up in her life and she is worried that she will no longer be able to make the trip and is afraid to tell you and disappoint you. Either way, I agree with the PP to call out the behaviour for what it is (in a kind way) and ask for the truth. “Hey so-and-so, I noticed that I haven’t heard from you since I mentioned booking flights. Can you let me know please if you are still interested in going ahead with our trip because I have other things that I’d like to plan if not.” I’d say give her a couple days after that message and if no answer, then assume she is no longer on board.

Whether or not some major crisis has come up in her life, you still need to make plans in yours.

Post # 13
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

It sounds like she no longer wants to (or can afford to) go. I’d ask her straight up if she can still go.

Post # 14
Member
949 posts
Busy bee

caligirl3 :  I agree with you. She is rude. I have been waiting 11 years for my former friend to text me back.

Post # 15
Member
538 posts
Busy bee

It’s perfectly reasonable to expect when making plans like that with someone, they either confirm them or cancel them but let you know one way or another. Her financial circumstances may have changed, maybe she wants to go somewhere else,  but is just afraid of saying so. Maybe try phoning her and speaking to her in person. If she still avoids you, cancel your plans with her and do something else instead.

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