(Closed) Why would a guy that I haven't hooked up with try to treat me like a booty call?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 15
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee

Annonnie89:  He’s not treating you like a booty call. Dinner is usually at 6pm and there’s plenty of time after that to hang out. Usually booty calls are where he calls you after 10pm and only wants to hook up. Your guy sounds like he likes you and wants to hang out so he keeps testing the waters. You have not made it obvious to him that you’re not interested.

Post # 16
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Annonnie89:  I know you want to be polite but you have to be firm with guys like him. If you give him an excuse, he will hear maybe next time instead of the no you want him to hear. You have to say “Thanks for the invite but I’m not really interested in seeing you again.” Make it clear that there’s no chance in a respectful way or he’ll just keep trying to wheedle his way into your life.

And tell your friend that giving out your number without your permission is NOT COOL.

Post # 17
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

Nothing worse than having your number given out without permission, talk about not kosher…

I would probably just not respond and then block his number, you don’t owe him anything. My block list has easily 30+ numbers of people I simply don’t want contacting me. I assume they take the hint eventually.

Post # 19
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

Annonnie89:  As far as your friend goes, is it possible she pushed him onto you to stop him hitting on her? Not cool, friend. 

Post # 20
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think he’s definitely treating you like a booty call.  And this is his first attempt at seeing if you’re down for that.  You said you don’t want to date.  That doesn’t mean you don’t want to hook up.  I’m not saying it’s right of him to assume you might want to, but he’s just testing the waters.  Just say no if you’re not interested.

Some single women who aren’t dating would be down for a friendly hook-up with someone they know relatively more than a random dude they just met in a bar.  I don’t think what he’s doing or asking is wrong.  You’re just not interested.  No fault on either side!

Post # 23
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Annonnie89:  You told him that you weren’t interested in a dating or a relationship, so he was obviously testing the waters to see if you might like a friends with benefits situation. Because, hey, you might have wanted that after ending a relationship several months ago but not ready for another! Maybe he doesn’t want anything serious either. I think it’s pretty harmles. He obviously knows what he wants, you, and has asked. Just tell these guys when it happens that you’re not interested (kindly) and then don’t reply again. It happens. 

<br /><br />How are you several months after your relationship ended? I took interest in your story and had to comment. I left an abusive relationship in November last year. I go through periods where I’m really angry, upset, and feel like I can never trust anyone again. But most of all it’s a breath of fresh air to come home to no tension. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and the massive benefits of being alone. If you ever need to talk to someone, vent etc, send me a message. Good luck with everything x

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  sarahanne33.
Post # 24
Member
3086 posts
Sugar bee

Annonnie89:  that sucks that you told him that you were not interested and then he went and got your number and texted you!

awkward. And i can see how you would be a little miffed by simply asking to do something after dinner. Whether he meant it “that” way or not i cannot say without meeting him. 

I remember once i recently broke up with someone and i would chit chat to this guy at a store all the time. He asked for my number and i was kind of excited. He immediately texted me to “hang out” and i asked what he wanted to do and he said “idk, just hang” uhhh no. Try taking me on a date first before i go “hang” at your house. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  L606.
Post # 25
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

leisha606:  Funny you mention that, I’ve had a couple of who I thought were lovely guys do the same thing. You have a period of time where you have interaction with them, there’s flirting etc, and they eventually get your number and then just want to hook up. What happened to old fashioned first dates, in public, with nice clothes on, etc? Whoever said chivalry is dead…. 

Post # 26
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

How is that treating you like a booty call? If he was making sexual innuendos…then yes, that’s booty call. But if all he said was “after”, then you just politely turn him down. Dating is frustrating, but I’d be careful to not put everyone that doesn’t fall into absolute relationship material into a negative bucket.

Post # 27
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think he just wants attention/bored and thinks maybe you could be a friend with benefits. He doesn’t seem overly interested either or he wouldnt wait a month since his last text. He probably is dating multiple women and just seeing who is available to hang out. 

Post # 28
Member
3086 posts
Sugar bee

sarahanne33:  YES! what is with that? it was so weird! Like it wasnt even the same guy. Do they think they already “have” us once we give them the phone number? like its some sort of sure thing. 

We would talk and talk at the store, sometimes it would be 20 mins after i already made my purchase! And then he was not chatty at all when we texted, could not hold a conversation without trying to say a sleezy pick up line. “Oh youre laying down? I wish i was next to you, we wouldnt be just laying tho” ew. i also found out he was a lot older than i thought – a 20 year old guy who doesnt have a car and skateboards to work, cute. a 26 year old guy who doesnt have  a car and skateboard to work – not cute lol. 

i just stopped replying and then it was reeeaaally awkward when i got back together with my ex and we went in the store LOL. 

 

The topic ‘Why would a guy that I haven't hooked up with try to treat me like a booty call?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors