Post # 1
I’m just utterly hurt today. I thought I got past all the jealousy issues…
Last night I asked Fiance a question that I wanted to know, but shouldnt of asked. We have his friends wedding coming up, and I finally had the balls to ask if his ex was going to be there. He said he was almost positive she would be there… Okay, him and I have been together going on 5 yrs now, so I thought hearing confirmation that she would be there wouldnt bring back sooo much jealousy. He knew that it bothered me and I explained that “he just didnt get it, theres compition- in my eyes” and his response was “you knew about the wedding and that she could be there, but yet you never wanna workout or do anything about how you look- Yeah it would of been nice going into it and being able to show off/ brag about about what i now have”… OH MY GOD what an asshole. I dont think he realized what he was saying, but today I am SO crushed.
I already spent close to $200 on a dress for this wedding, and after trying it back on, I dont feel great in it. Im already going back to the boards on finding a dress that I dont feel frumpy in. I’ve already prepared myself that I will pay ANYTHING to find something that looks AWESOME. Ive been looking on RentTheRunway- and am even willing to RENT a dress for up to $300.. UUGGGHHH.
Understand I am short, huge chested, and slightly chubby- im not gonna put myself down anymore then i already do, but i wear a size 10/12 but am 5’1…On days I love my curves- i do have an hourglass shape- just a slightly larger hourglass =). But after his comment I feel like im not good enough and that hes not proud to have me on his arm..
I so badly want to do a crash diet, laxitives- WHAT EVER IT TAKES to get rid of as much weight as possible before this wedding next month. I already have in my head that the night before the wedding if i feel crappy about myself im gonna play horribly sick the next day so I dont have to go- omg im crazy- but then I get in my head “Im not letting him go somewhere alone that his EX will be at”….
I’m just so bummed and crushed…
Thanks for letting me rant and rave.
Post # 3
omg honey stop this thinking! You are beautiful as you are and do not need to change a THING as long as you are healthy. He should learn to appreciate what he has and love you for who you are. He should walk into a room proud to show you off because he loves you and because you ARE something to brag about…a kind, sweet, wonderful woman…obviously his ex didnt posses all the qualities that you do or she would not be his ex
Post # 4
Yup..just took a closer look at your avatar…you are stunning and he is an idiot if he doesn’t see it
Post # 5
okay… i don’t know if i’m reading this correctly… but did he say he was embarassed by your looks and that he didn’t feel like he could show you off?
if so… why the eff are you with him?
i mean… it’s one thing to say it’s your own fault if you aren’t happy with how you look… but it’s different to say that it’s your fault HE isn’t happy with how you look.
Post # 6
@graygodess20: Be proud of who you are, don’t make it a competition with her…waste of your time/energy. There will always be someone out there who looks better, is funnier, dresses better, etc… Who knows if she even does, who cares?
Be confident!!!! Walk in proud of what you look like and who you are. If you get the chance, introduce yourself with a big smile and shake her hand. This would also get the awkwardness out of the way. Besides, confidence and kindness are much more impressive than anything else anyway.
As far as what you Fiance said, that would upset me as well. BUT, I know how men can be. If you have expressed previously that you are sometimes unhappy with your body, he may have meant that you have had time and why wait until now? As far as his comment about being able to show you off…I think that was hurtful, and may show that his previous comments were not in your best interest, if you know what I mean.
Grass is always greener on the other side, I have no body LOL….would kill for hourglass curves…rock them!
Post # 7
Wow, please don’t do anything like that and crash diet or use chemicals to lose weight. If he can’t love you for who you are now and what you look like, he’s an ass. Sorry, I don’t want to be mean, but that comment is reprehensible.
Edited: I misread! I thought this was to YOUR wedding… sorry!
Post # 8
it’s not their wedding the ex will be at. if i read correctly, it’s a friend’s wedding.
Post # 9
I’m no expert but there issue here isn’t the ex girlfriend. He can’t control where she gets invited and you guys have been together for 5 years so she should really be a non factor at this point! The problem is, your appearance shouldn’t have even been apart of his response so that’s what confuses me. Now this will be something that you’ll probably have insecurities about even past this wedding. I say if losing weight is something that you want to do for yourself then start with doing a little cardio a couple times a week and see where that takes you. Don’t let him belittle you into hiding though! He should be worrying about impressing you and what you think rather than other people.
Post # 10
What in the hell? Any time I have made a disparaging comment about myself (usually during that lovely week out of every month) my SO immediately counters with “honey, you’re gorgeous, now get your head out of your a**!”
I think you are lovely. He should not have said such a hurtful thing to you. *hugs*
Post # 12
he should already be bragging about you just the way you are now.
Post # 13
Whoa whoa whoa…. NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!! Who the hell says that to the love of their life?!?! Um, no, he proposed to you knowing how you look and who you are. If he can’t accept that, then he needs to find someone that fits his “vision.” You deserve far better. What a superficial asshole.
Post # 14
Yes a friends wedding! Over the past 5 yrs- we have both gained weight, and he too is also self concious of his, but i would NEVER say “Well you should be embarassed to go b/c of how much weight youve gained”..
He was such an ass last night, i just cant believe that he would say that.. b/c he tells me all the time that he loves me for me- and loves my body… so its like effin with my head. Is he lying when he says he loves me for me??? and last night his true feelings came out?? uugghhhh.. i think im going to punch him in the face tonight when i get home from work.. =) ORRRRR accidentally shrink his clothes =) (okay im really not gonna be it feels good thinking to do that )
Post # 15
I’m sorry he made you feel ashamed about yourself and thinking you need to take an unhealthy route to lose weight. You are beautiful the way you are.
I would have seriously punched him in the balls. Sorry, that is totally inappopriate of him to even remotely say something like that. Is this the first time he’s ever said something like that to you? I wouldn’t put up with someone that talks to me like that =(