Post # 17
Yeah, that’s a really harsh comment! I do have a question, though. Do you frequently complain about your weight/body and wish that you were thinner aloud, but then not do anything to change your diet/exercise? I’m not saying you SHOULD be dieting…but I know that guys tend to not have the same emotional connection to their body shapes/sizes we have, and so they look at it more pragmatically. Like, “well, if you’re not happy with your body, then change your diet/exercise.” What he said would really really hurt my feelings, too…and you should tell him that it was not acceptable.
You also need to know you are beautiful exactly as you are! Do not crash diet or take pills…if those things worked, then people wouldn’t be struggling so much to lose weight. I think confidence is the most attractive quality in anybody, so start looking at yourself as the beautiful person you are!
Post # 18
He definitely shouldn’t have said that. However, guys like to fix problems, and he sees your concern about being around the ex as a problem. If he’s ever heard you complain about your weight, fitting into clothes, etc., then maybe he put 2 and 2 together in his warped male brain.
Did you tell him that it hurt your feelings? Did he feel bad about saying it? Have you talked about your insecurities about his ex?
Post # 19
@MrsMotoX: He has never said anything bad about how i look. He knows that i have issues with how i look b/c after starting two new meds i gained about 20 lbs.. he has always been supportive and everything, always saying that he loves how i look, loves my curves, has the best booty and ta-tas. that he wouldnt want anything different. thats why im just so crushed.
Thank you all ladies for your input and support and comments. it means alot, it really does.
Post # 20
omg wtf! that is not okay on any level no matter what the circumstances. please don’t do anything unhealthy because of a mans comments to you. i think you should give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him you wish he’d get on propecia or get some hair plugs so he has some hair for you to show off!
I honestly just don’t even know personally how i could be with a person that ever said that to me – even once! Your relationship is supposed to be a safe, nurturing place.
Post # 21
@graygodess20: OK! First of all don’t go spend tons of money on a dress- who cares what other people think! Second, go join a gym, do zumba, go do something to boost your self esteem, but do it for YOU.
As far as fi goes… buy him some diet pills, or throw away his favorite junk food hehe 🙂
Post # 22
He knows since starting new meds and gaining around 20 lbs that I have been uncomfortable with how i look sometimes, but most of the time i rock my curves and walk with confidence in my stride. He also knows that b/c of the meds its hard for me to get rid of any weight… ive tried changing my eating habits, and working out, but after time they didnt do a darn thing so i just stopped working out. I still try to eat as healthy as i can.. which he knows i feel less bloated and icky.. and is supportive of keeping up with the healthy eating.
Post # 23
As someone who says things JUST TO BE MEAN when I am mad, I get the feeling that he just said it to be mean (it is something that I am aware of and am working on, Fiance is the same way). However, I don’t think I would ever insult Fiance on his looks…. especially not comparing him to an ex or ever saying that I wasn’t going to be able to show him off because of his looks. Even if he didn’t mean it (and I sure hope he didn’t) he took it too far.
It kind of feels like he is saying that you aren’t as pretty as his ex and that would really hurt me and piss me off!
Post # 24
Wtf! That comment is NOT okay – he should be building you up, not tearing you down. Tell him in no uncertain terms that what he said was out of line.
Post # 25
You shouldnt change a damn thing about youself!!! Except maybe your future husband……….
Post # 26
After the comment I kinda hadda throw a punch at him and stated that the ex has a horse face, and he did agree- which is NOT what i wanted b/c i wanted him to feel gross that he dated a horse…
I just feel like when he sees her hes gonna kinda wish that i looked like her… and i know in my heart that he wouldnt compare me to her, like PP said, IM his FIANCE, not her, but after his comment i know that IM gonna be comparing myself to her.
Post # 27
Im pretty sure his credit card buying me new shoes might slightly make me feel better..
Post # 28
OP, can i just say that I think your are beautiful?
Post # 29
What a jerky thing to say! That’s very mean, and comments like that cause more lasting damage the other person meant to. But please, dear, get out of revenge mode…even though it’s fun to entertain evil thoughts.
Post # 30
Please don’t do anything horrible to your body! And you absolutely do not need to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on a dress!! You do NOT have to compare yourself with his ex. Just remember that she is just an ex and that your Fiance picked you, and not her, for a reason. I would just pretend like she doesn’t even exist. You are an amazing, fabulous, sexy woman who has nothing to prove to anyone! Sexy is 90% confidence, =)
Did your Fiance mean his comment in a mean way? Or did he just say it to reflect what you’ve said yourself before? I know my Fiance sometimes doesn’t know how to say the “cute” or “sweet” thing. Some of the things he says, if taken at face value, are really insensitive, but that’s just cuz he doesn’t realize what he’s saying. I hope your Fiance didn’t actually mean what he said because that would be horrible.
Post # 31
ouch. im trying to think why he said that =(
it could be either as a pp said, guys like to “fix problems”…even though i dont think your weight is a problem, you look great in the avatar
or, if youve mentioned your jealousy a lot of times before, he might have just snapped ot get you to stop mentioning it? guys very very frustrated by jealous gfs, i know my fi used to have no patience with me when i mentioned his ex. it could have been a (albeit slightly mean) way of just saying ‘enough’
it is hurtful though, and i think you should tell him how you feel. its the kind of thing a guy might not realise that youll be thinking about for days after he said what was to him a throwaway comment