(Closed) Why would FSIL do this on my fiance's bday?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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Angelfire7:  Sounds like my Mother-In-Law who always thinks she knows best even when I tell her otherwise. Sorry, bee! Happy to hear though that your Fiance didn’t eat theirs – confirms to them that you were correct about him wanting yours.

Post # 3
Member
5040 posts
Bee Keeper

Unless it is a repetitive occurence, I wouldn’ worry about it. You know what you are to your Fiance and that should be enough.

Post # 4
Member
30402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it’s a one-off I would let it go. If that type of thing happens often, one or both of them is having trouble with you replacing them in your FI/BF ??’s heart/mind.

Post # 5
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

@julies1949 I’m confuzzled on the FI/BF aspect as well.

Glad he’s on your side though, hopefully this is a one off and not a continuing power struggle. If it turns that way it will be important to have his support in handling his intrusive family. I hope this all blows over for you though.

Post # 6
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hey – if it makes you feel better, my Mother-In-Law still buys DH underwear and ships it across the country as if 1) we can’t do laundry and 2) we’re incapable of buying underwear. 

I think a lot of female in laws think they know best for a LONG time. If you’re still the Girlfriend (your description is confusing), maybe she knows he’s picky with sweets and wasn’t sure you also were aware of his preferences? Doesn’t excuse it necessarily. Just may be what she’s thinking/feeling.

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2020

this would annoy the piss out of me. Not sure you can or should do anything about it though. If that kind of thing keeps happening I suppose your BF couold have a talk with his mom and sister. How annoying though.

Post # 9
Member
8490 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sounds like a pissing contest. I would have let them bring the cake.

Post # 10
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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Angelfire7:  Sounds like something mine would do. Apparently my DHs family can’t handle the fact that I am most important to him and we make decisions for ourselves, not based on what the family thinks we do. 

I guaratee you, the best thing to do is ignore, ignore, ignore. They want to get to you and you need to make sure they don’t see any type of reaction from you. 

Post # 11
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

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Angelfire7:  I can sympathise, after I had been dating my then boyfriend for seven months, his mother and sister threw him a surprise party… And didn’t invite me. The party was themed “cheese and wine”, despite him not liking cheese, not liking wine, and not liking surprise parties. In fact, he positively told them previously not to give him a party as he didn’t want one. And to not invite me, well you can imagine how well that went down! I think in a way they did it to make it seem as if I didn’t exist, which is really puzzling as i always got on well with them. 

I think the best way to handle it is to make your boyfriend deal with his own family, and not get involved too much if you can help it. On this occasion I think it would be best to let it go but if in future you’d like an issue addressed, get him to talk to them about it.

Post # 12
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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minta:  How rude to not invite you! 

Post # 13
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

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bubbycakes:  I know, I have forgiven them but it will be hard to forget. But i know some have worse in law stories than i have, so I’ll try to continue to be positive!

Post # 14
Member
2021 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

Double cake = Happy

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