Post # 1
So my FI/BF and I were planning his birthday party and told his family. His sister asked me if a cake was needed. I told her I got it covered and that I was baking his favorite cake because he is pretty picky with sweets and loves the cake I make.
Come day of his party, I’m washing dishes and cleaning when suddenly my cousin runs up to me and says, “Didn’t you bake him a cake?” I said, “Yeah, why?” She then points to the room where his sisters and mom was lighting a birthday cake they bought for him after I told her I had a cake! I ran to get my cake ready too and told them my cake needs lit too so they lit it and he blew both candles out.
I cannot believe they were lighting the cake without me especially when I had a cake ready. If my cousin has not told me then my cake would be left in the fridge!!
I told my bf about it and he just apologized and told me that he didn’t even touch the ther cake because he liked mine better.
Why would they do this?
Post # 2
Sounds like my Mother-In-Law who always thinks she knows best even when I tell her otherwise. Sorry, bee! Happy to hear though that your Fiance didn’t eat theirs – confirms to them that you were correct about him wanting yours.
Post # 3
Unless it is a repetitive occurence, I wouldn’ worry about it. You know what you are to your Fiance and that should be enough.
Post # 4
If it’s a one-off I would let it go. If that type of thing happens often, one or both of them is having trouble with you replacing them in your FI/BF ??’s heart/mind.
Post # 5
@julies1949 I’m confuzzled on the FI/BF aspect as well.
Glad he’s on your side though, hopefully this is a one off and not a continuing power struggle. If it turns that way it will be important to have his support in handling his intrusive family. I hope this all blows over for you though.
Post # 6
Hey – if it makes you feel better, my Mother-In-Law still buys DH underwear and ships it across the country as if 1) we can’t do laundry and 2) we’re incapable of buying underwear.
I think a lot of female in laws think they know best for a LONG time. If you’re still the Girlfriend (your description is confusing), maybe she knows he’s picky with sweets and wasn’t sure you also were aware of his preferences? Doesn’t excuse it necessarily. Just may be what she’s thinking/feeling.
Post # 7
this would annoy the piss out of me. Not sure you can or should do anything about it though. If that kind of thing keeps happening I suppose your BF couold have a talk with his mom and sister. How annoying though.
Post # 8
Guess not sure what title to use since I didn’t want to make it seem like a non serious relationship but at the same time we’ve talked about marriage and everything but haven’t set a date, it’s more of a long term goal lol. Right now we have other things we want to achieve.
Anyways, they are nice and I do like spending time with them. If you see previous posts they often red exclusive such as frequently having “girls night” with the aunties, mom, female cousin, and sisters and never inviting me which sucks. There are many little jabs that I can’t really “prove” but whatever.
Post # 9
Sounds like a pissing contest. I would have let them bring the cake.
Post # 10
Sounds like something mine would do. Apparently my DHs family can’t handle the fact that I am most important to him and we make decisions for ourselves, not based on what the family thinks we do.
I guaratee you, the best thing to do is ignore, ignore, ignore. They want to get to you and you need to make sure they don’t see any type of reaction from you.
Post # 11
I can sympathise, after I had been dating my then boyfriend for seven months, his mother and sister threw him a surprise party… And didn’t invite me. The party was themed “cheese and wine”, despite him not liking cheese, not liking wine, and not liking surprise parties. In fact, he positively told them previously not to give him a party as he didn’t want one. And to not invite me, well you can imagine how well that went down! I think in a way they did it to make it seem as if I didn’t exist, which is really puzzling as i always got on well with them.
I think the best way to handle it is to make your boyfriend deal with his own family, and not get involved too much if you can help it. On this occasion I think it would be best to let it go but if in future you’d like an issue addressed, get him to talk to them about it.
Post # 12
How rude to not invite you!
Post # 13
I know, I have forgiven them but it will be hard to forget. But i know some have worse in law stories than i have, so I’ll try to continue to be positive!