(Closed) Why would I tip a vendor? Please explain.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I myself do not understand. I mean, if I made a contract with you, then you are telling me “Hi Chica, this is what this is worth” Now, if I am there when you are dropping the centerpieces off and you went ABOVE AND BEYOND the call of duty, then I might tip you. MIGHT. It’s not a given. I know certain folks won’t agree with this but that’s just me. You quote me something, I pay that. You do an outstanding job, I may or may not tip you.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t get this either. I mean, they’ve already included their mark up and are making money on the service, otherwise they’d be running a pretty unsuccessful business! There are certain people I’m planning on tipping because they’ve already gone above and beyond, but others, not so much.

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think it is just an industry standard type thing. Like tipping a waitress at a restaurant. 

Post # 6
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

What’s worse is that they want you to tip before the service is performed, which you never do. You wait until after the wedding is over to decide if the vendor deserved a tip, and only give one if they went above and beyond the call of duty for you. It’s basically a thank you for a job well done. If a vendor simply shows up and does the job that was required of them with nothing special added or if they provided bad service at any point in time (either during the planning or on the wedding day) they do not get a tip of any kind. If you want to give the owner of a business a tip that you feel they deserved, then do that. No one can stop you if you do.

You are not required under any circumstances to give a tip, except in the form of a required gratituity (fancy name for a tip that they hope no one picks up on) that is charged by the caterer and venue. Some caterers do not charge this but they are very few and far between.

The wedding websites and magazines insist on it because they only care about how deep into debt they can convince you to go, and if you don’t spend money you don’t have or don’t want to part with, then they’re out of a job and want everyone to believe that they are doomed for divorce and their weddings will not be valid or beautiful/enjoyable if they aren’t able to rely solely on the wedding industry for all of their (usually incorrect) advice.

If you don’t feel a vendor deserves a tip and/or you cannot justify the expense, you are not obligated to give one and no one can do anything to you if you don’t, nor do they have any right to judge you.

Post # 7
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Some people I’m working with have the gratuity already stated in the contract. If this is the case, then of course I’m not tipping them. Some people like my photographer I’ll tip, or if we had a separate maitre d or something, but most vendors include their gratuity these days. I think the wedding websites are telling you to tip if say you’re hiring everyone separate, caterer, cake baker, bartender, etc. and they aren’t included in your contract.

Post # 8
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

In theory, you don’t tip a vendor as such.  For example, if someone is the owner of a business, you don’t need to tip.  The ones you tip are the employees of the vendor.  For example, if you are having a wedding at a restaurant, you tip the waiters.  The system is that those people are paid less than minimum wage, and have to rely on tips.  Their employers believe that having to rely on tips makes them more responsive to the customer.

Of course, if the price at the restaurant includes a gratuity, you don’t have to pay another tip on top of that.

Post # 9
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

@2dBride: In oregon minimum wage is the minimum- end of story. So your waitress is making $8.75 or whatever, the same as your barista and the kid flipping burgers. We have the second highest minimum wage in the country! Would you still tip? It is just as expected here as it is everywhere else and it has always really bugged me. I worked hard in customer service and retail, but pecause people don’t eat the things I sold them, they never tipped me! Just wondering if you were in a place with these conditions would you tip? (I still do, I just like to grumble about it on the internet) 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I hate the whole system of tipping.  As far as I’m concerned, the employer should pay the employee what s/he is worth, and the price of the food should be adjusted accordingly.  And restaurants are not even the worst!  I can remember to tip 20% of my bill in a restaurant.  But for floral deliveries, garage parking, etc., I always feel like I’m tipping the wrong amount.

In fact, at our wedding, it was a bit embarrassing.  The florist came a bit early, and just left the flowers at the synagogue with the staff there.  So we weren’t even there when the flowers arrived.  At that point, I was thinking, “Ok, are we supposed to go over to the florist and tip them later?  But that eliminates the convenience of having the flowers delivered in the first place!”

The restaurant was easier.  They added an 18% gratuity to the bill, and I didn’t have to worry about whom to tip and how much.

However, I’m with you:  I grumble about the system, but still try to tip generously.  I know that whatever I paid for the vendor’s services, the employee is not seeing much of it unless I tip.

Post # 11
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree when it comes to the venue or caterer. Isn’t this why there is a service fee? Also if I’m giving you 30K to feed my friends and family dont expect a dollar more.

Post # 12
Member
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im tipping my vedors for those who have gone above and beyond their package price or what i expected of them.  my event designer, for example, is amazing and if i could have my way, i would send her on our honeymoon – thats how much extra she deserves. 

i dont plan on tipping the caterer, but will probably do something (not necessairly money) for the band leader and the florist, maybe a dinner gift card.

Post # 13
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh this drives me bonkers – – like outta my mind nuts…I too don’t get it!

Our photographers have their own company and our package is x amount PLUS WA state sales tax which is 9.5%.  Well our band and our florist also have their own companies and they aren’t charging WA state taxes….ARGH Yell

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

tipping should be optional and based on the the quaity of work and if u feel it was beyond the normal line of duty. it should not be mandatory thing that u must do because in that case then y am i paying u and then tipping u to do the same job?

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I will only pay vendors who go above and beyond – and AFTER their services are performed.  For instance, I’ll pay a tip to a photographer if they are awesome AND they deliver my pics to me in a quick (but reasonable) turnaround.  A caterer will get a tip if their servers are polite, the food is great, AND the venue tells me they cleaned up well (meaning: I don’t get a charge on my credit card by the venue for a messy kitchen).  The vendors I choose to monetarily tip will also get a letter of recommendation from me (for use however they want) and will get my word-of-mouth recommendations.  In an industry like weddings, recommendations and good reviews can go a long way!

Post # 16
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We didn’t tip anyone, when you are paying thousands of dollars for services, I wouldn’t know what to tip on that type of money anyways….and I certainly won’t be using their services more than once so what’s the point?

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