(Closed) Why would she do this???

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4350 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Is sandra invited to your wedding?

Post # 5
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The same thing happened to us. 

Before I pushed back our wedding date it was originally set for August 6th, 2012. My FI’s adopted brother put his wedding as a three day event for August 10th, 2012. I flipped out! He knew our wedding date and still planned it like he did? I was so upset. I undersand how you feel. 

I bet you want to confront her but afraid you’ll sound crazy? 

Post # 6
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i can’t believe she would pull something like that. 

well, giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps that was the only date her venue was available.

your guests can still enjoy your wedding and make it back in time for hers.  it’s inconvenient but still possible.

Post # 7
4350 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@musicalrose:  It sucks, but I don’t think you can expect her to plan around an event she isn’t invited to :/. Hopefully your Maid/Matron of Honor will either make it to both weddings or not attend Sandra’s wedding since she knew about yours first. I have a friend getting married two weeks before me and I’m nervous our mutual friends will skip my wedding since hers is local and mine is a destination wedding. Most of my friends have stated that if forced to choose they will attend mine since they knew about it first. (2 year engagement vs 1 year engagement, and my friend is invited to my wedding but I’m not sure if I’m invited to hers.) Hopefully your friends will do the same and attend yours over Sandra’s since they have known about your wedding longer. (I’m assuming you’ve spread the date by word of mouth to important guests.)

Also, your wedding is on a Wednesday. Are you sure all of your guests will be able to attend a midweek destination wedding regardless of your Sandra’s wedding?

Post # 8
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@musicalrose:  thats horrible on her part, lets hope friends still come to yours as they were invited first and not go to hers if they cant make both.  She may give in to pressure to change her date if she can if a lot of people tell her they cant go.

Post # 9
3306 posts
Sugar bee

@asscherlover:  +1.

Very crappy of her to do this but since your wedding is a destination wedding, keep in mind people may decline for the local one. Traveling is just very expensive and a midweek wedding means time off in addition to the expense. Some people just don’t think that far in advance and wait until last minute to save and plan. I hope your MoH declines for her and stays with you.

Post # 11
1074 posts
Bumble bee

@musicalrose:  Wow! She sounds like a piece of work. You’re right, you don’t own a week/month/whatever for your wedding. However your Maid/Matron of Honor has every right to expect that as someone at Maid/Matron of Honor level status in a relationship she should have been consulted about dates that worked for her. You also have a right to be upset about that and the stress it causes you in turn. If I was your Maid/Matron of Honor I would be pretty mad.

I would just try to get my STD’s out soon, and keep in mind that if this girl has a history of short-lived relationships that things just may change in the year+ between now and then. 

Post # 12
9012 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If it wasn’t Sandra’s wedding then it could be anyone (and any kind of event) that your guests know that could change their mind over attending a Destination Wedding. 1.5 years is a long time and many things change there will be weddings, babaies, deaths etc etc.

I know it sucks that some of your guests may not make it but even you have said that you are not friends with this person (Sandra) so why would she even give your wedding a second thought or plan around it?

Sorry but in my opinion  every bride and groom gets to plan their wedding when it best suits them.

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