Post # 1
I wrote a post earlier about possibly doing a courthouse marriage then wedding later. (I’m leaning toward not now) Before I thought of that I told my mother how excited my Fiance was to get married and that he wishes we could be married yesterday.
I kid you not, MY MOTHER says, “well maybe you outta hurry up and get married before he changes his mind.”
He asked ME to MARRY HIM! Why would he change his mind?! It’s not like we have a wishy washy relationship or like he hides his love for me..WTF
Post # 3
Is it possible she was just being sarcastic?
Post # 4
@magilnyc: I wish…I said..umm mom why wouold you say that. She seriously said, well he’s excited about it now maybe you should entertain that and just get married quickly…
She says the most off the wall things but they’re hurtful.
Post # 5
I agree That it’twas probably a misguided attempt at being funny and when you were actually hurt she got defensive.
Post # 5
My first thought was that she was joking, too, but then I read your second post. Did you tell her that her words were hurtful? Could she possibly be projecting her own old insecurities onto you (did she feel rushed to marry at some point because the relationship wasn’t so great)?
Try not to let it bother you too much, but I can understand why it would be hurtful coming from your mom!
Post # 6
@Juliepants: No I didn’t bother to tell her she hurt me. Her wedding was rushed because she was 3 months pregnant and my parents were raised catholic so they didn’t want anyone to know. 18 years and 3 kids later they divorced.
That is why I was surprised and angry. I would think she would want me to have a timeline of my choice.
It was a phone conversation so perhaps she was joking. It just struck a nerve.
Post # 7
My grandma told me she thought my dress was ugly and that she didn’t care that she wasn’t the one wearing it, she just wanted me to know.
People say stupid, hurtful things. You’ve gotta just keep on keepin’ on.
Post # 8
Post # 9
I can imagine my mom saying this… but in a totally sarcastic way. If it really hurt you though, you should say something to her. Just like, hey mom, I think you were trying to be funny, but it really wasn’t to me… and see where that goes.
Post # 10
I can totally see my mom saying this, but her and I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I wouldn’t let it get to me if I were you. He obviously wants to marry you since he asked you. No worries!!
Post # 11
Just let it go. I think your mum projected her hurt feelings onto you. She didn’t actually mean to cause any harm. Now that does not mean that your hurtfulness isn’t ‘right’. Anyone in your position would be hurt. However, it is important to consider that you need not take it any further. You already called her out on it. Don’t drag it on. Focus on other/better things.
And I think your mum is hurt is because her own marriage didn’t work out and she fears that your guy might leave you too. So she thinks she’s doing a great job of suggesting that you marry before he has a chance to leave. I think that is what she meant to say. Still an annoying thing to say/hear but it’s not something so bad that you need to talk abt it any further than you already have.
Post # 12
You all are right. Thanks for the input. It helped me see where she may be coming from. I’m assuming a lot of people are going to be saying things I don’t fancy. I guess it’s all part of it for now lol.
Post # 13
I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but maybe you should hold back on how much you share about the wedding so she won’t have the opportunity to offend you again.