Post # 1
So I’ve been trying to decide what to do about the name change situation, and I’m almost convinced that I’d like to use my maiden name as a new middle name and use his last name as mine, thusly: Cassclaw F____ W____.
But, I figure if I’m changing my name, I’d like him to change his, too, so he would also take my maiden name as his middle, i.e., Darling Husband F_____ W_____. That way we both have each other’s names, and we still share a “family” name.
We’ve talked about it, and basically he’s totally cool with whatever I decide. I even asked him if he’d straight up take my name, and he was just like, “Yeah, sure – it’s just a name.” But he said he also likes the above arrangement, and doesn’t mind the extra work he’ll have to do to change his.
My question is, for those brides who have changed their names, did your husband change his in some way as well? Why or why not? If so, did you catch any flak for the decision?
Post # 3
We will likely change to an entirely new name, so we’ll both change! No one has dared make a rude comment to me about it.
Post # 4
When I was in uni, I had 2 lecturers who were a couple. They got married over holidays & came back with a double name (eg She Jones & He Smith, they both were then Smith-Jones).
It was cool, no-one made a big deal about it
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
Darling Husband and I both hyphenated our last name and our kids will have the sane last name. Most people find it odd he decided to change it but think it’s great he’s so supportive (for the record, I was always big on the idea of changing just my last name but unfortunately his last name and my first name sounded like a joke and as an attorney, I just couldn’t do it so that’s why we/I chose to hyphenate).
Post # 6
@cassclaw: I have friends who did this. They also gave both their sons this same set up. I love the idea. Who cares about flak? It’s no one’s business.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
@cassclaw: I know a couple who picked a brand new last name.
I also know a couple who did exactly what you are proposing, with a slight twist: her middle name plus his last name. Her middle name was her mother’s maiden name, so it was last namey sounding anyway. Their kids also have this dual, non-hyphenated name and they’ve never gotten flak.
Post # 8
@cassclaw: I changed my name to my husband’s name and dropped my maiden name all together. I like the way my first and middle name go together. As for whether my husband would have changed his name? Had I suggested it, he would have called off the wedding. He didn’t care how I decided to arrange my names as long as there were no hyphens and I didn’t keep my maiden name.
Post # 9
We wanted to change both our names… to Pendragon.
I dunno if it was the name choice or what but it didn’t make anyone happy.
We didn’t do it cause Darling Husband is the only male contuinuing his family name…
Post # 10
Hahaha!!!! Fiance and I just talked about this over the weekend ! I’m 40 and don’t really want to change my name so I brought it up. Fiance was hurt and said something to the effect of it is sentimental for him showing we belong together. My response is yes, but it’s a pain in the ass only for me. To which he responded, let’s both change our name. The cashier at Walmart stared at us open mouthed like we were nuts. I personally don’t like the hyphenated names so we spent the next 15 minutes coming up with a plan. We with both change. Right now I am “B”. He has his bio fathers last name “E” but gas had no contact with the man in years. He is not oarticularly close to his stepdad hick would be “G”. But he would like to go to his mother’s maiden name “Hazel…..” Which I really like! So decision made we will be Kat an Mr Kat Hazel….. It makes me happy.
Post # 11
So awesome to hear about people doing/considering this. We both hyphenated hisname-myname, and it was his idea. I didn’t want to change my name, and he was totally cool with it. But then, he realized he wanted us to have the same name (whatever that may be). After many discussions, we decided on the hyphenating. The only flak we’ve gotten is from people who don’t really matter to us anyway. No kids yet, but they’ll all have our double last name. We discussed taking a brand new name, but the time/cost was a little more than we were wanting to do.
Post # 12
In a lot of ways my SO is more of a feminist than I am. He wanted to change his last name to mine! I told him that I like his last name and I want his (I really do it’s very pretty). Then I suggested hyphenating or making a whole new name but he doesn’t want any of that. I’m a waiting bee so we have a while but we’ll what happens 🙂 I should feel lucky I have such a progressive SO but I want his last name! lol
Post # 13
@cassclaw: we’re both changing our last names as well. his family name – we discovered – was actually NOT his real last family name due to some immigration / persecution in earlier generations, so we wanted to honor his family’s legacy by going back to the real last name! everyone who learned about our story loved it
Post # 14
@cassclaw: That is such a great idea. I have tried to convince my fiance to create a new name for us. Yours is a very refreshing idea, no one is really losing their name if they had any sort of attachment to it
Post # 15
@cassclaw: I’m keeping my name fully as is, besides adding my FI’s name as a second last name (no hyphen). I’ll go by my first and my last at work, leaving his last out- he’s fine with that and doesn’t care. My Fiance is also going to add my last name as a second last name after his (no hyphen) and future kids will have his last name only. I’m fine w/my Fiance only “going by” his own last name and not writing mine. I just figure that if he’s asking me to legally change my name because it’s important to him, then he can do the same for me. I don’t think everybody should do this- but it works for us and our preferences.
I’m not sure who’d give us flack for this- most ppl don’t even really know what others’ legal names are and wouldn’t even think to ask if the guy’s changing his name.
Post # 16
@cassclaw: we’re planning something similar.
I’ll be First Middle Mine His & he’ll be First Middle Mine His
We’re using my last name as our second middle name. I’m pushing to also use this setup for our kids, but he’s wary of the 4 names for kids.