Post # 1
Hey Bees, just curious about what kind of things you do around the house. I’m not married yet, but my fiance and i have lived together for almost 3 years. We have a 14 month old son, and I work from 8-5 m-f while he stays home with our son, then when i get home he goes to work from 5-10 m-w and then works 10 hour days on weekends, so we work about the same amount. My fiance expects me to do all cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. Do you gals do all the housework, or does your fiance/hubby help out?
Post # 3
@busybride215: No no no no. I work 40 hours and Darling Husband works like 30. I tell him the other ten he isn’t working that I am, he is to clean the house and keep up with laundry. When I get home I cook. It works for us.
Post # 4
On the weekends I DO help clean though.
Post # 5
We both work full time and we share the chores equally. Time for you to be a bit more assertive.
Post # 6
My Darling Husband and I live in an apartment and even though it’s only a 2 bedroom, it’s challenging keeping everything clean! My husband works 35 hour work weeks and I’m a full time student so I tend to do most of the housework. However, when things pile up like the dishes and laundry, he is more than happy to help out even though he works way more than I do.
For example if the laundry isn’t done when he gets home from work, I’ll get a head start on dinner and while that is cooking, he will throw in the laundry or do whatever else needs to be done.
A marriage is definitely about helping each other out! It should never be someones sole responsibility to do EVERYTHING because even if you don’t work, it’s a lot of work to keep a clean house, dinner ready, and all other things under control.
Post # 7
I do the cooking and shopping. We split cleaning up dinner. He will cook if I am running late or something.
He tends to do more of the laundry. We share cleaning up like vacuuming etc. I do end up doing more, but its not because he expects me to. Its because I can actually cook and that takes more time each week. Hell do anything willingly if I ask him to.
Post # 8
I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. My Fiance hasn’t washed clothes or cleaned a bathroom in 3 years. I don’t work, he works a regular office job m-f, so when he gets home I don’t want him to have to do anything.
Post # 9
We work and clean equally. Well, I like to think that, but he actually cleans more. :-p
Post # 10
I cook, but Darling Husband cleans up the dishes and keeps the bird’s cage clean. We split other chores on the weekend. I agree, you should definitely not be doing all the chores.
Post # 11
I do it all except trash but that’s because I only work 15 Hours a week and I’m in school too but he he irks at least 50 hours a week and still helps out alot
Post # 12
Sorry Op the whole ” I am to do the house work” sounds pretty imperial and uncompromising.
If SO ever said that to me I would tell him exactly where to stick his dirty laundry. Asking is different. But what you said sounds like an order. And no one puts hellecat in a corner. If you catch my drift.
Post # 13
We aren’t living together, but I fully expect to do more cleaning and picking up than him because it matters more to me. I would LOL if he ever told me what I *should* be doing with house cleaning. He is great and really helpful though, but I just have more ridiculous standards than him.
We agreed early on though that if we’re both working, it’s an option for us to hire a cleaning lady every other week. I’m going to try not to do that right now just because I’d rather save the money, but if it’s getting to where I’m annoyed by the state of the house, I would hire someone before I got on him about it. It just isn’t worth the relationship stress when I’m the one who cares. I know that isn’t a viable option for everyone, but it sure is a luxury that can make life a LOT better when you have two people working full time.
Post # 14
Fiance works full time, and I work part-time, so I do most of the cooking and cleaning in that respect. But depending on what’s happening with my work, I can sometimes work full-time or higher hours, in which case he does the cooking and cleaning. The chores aren’t really something we divide up – we just do them as they need doing.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I do the laundry and most of the house cleaning. He does basically all the cooking and most of the dishes. It works well for us. (This is just one of many reasons I think living with someone before marriage is important – you can settle all these issues so you don’t have a nasty surprise as a wife!)
Post # 16
Right now my husband works 40 hours a week and is a full time graduate student and I have already graduated with my masters and am not yet employed.
As of RIGHT now I do most of the cleaning. My Darling Husband takes out the trash for me and helps out with what is needed.
When we were both full time students we split the housework about 50/50. He needed me to tell him what I wanted him to do but he would do it. Even NOW if I get overwhelmed he is always there to lend a hand.
When I have a full time job we will once again split the work 50/50.