(Closed) Wifely Duties

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We have an agreement that whoever is working less/has an easier semester (we’re in college) will take more of the household responsibilities. This semester was definitely easier for me, and I wasn’t working, so I took on all of the chores. I do all the laundry, cooking, dishes, and cleaning. However, he pitches in on the weekends, and if he has spare time during the week we do chores together. Next semester will be busier for me, so we will adjust the responsibilities to be equal. It works for us!

Post # 34
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I used to keep score, but I don’t anymore.  I probably end up doing more than he does, but it all works out.  If I feel like he needs to step something up in a particular area, I’ll mention it and he usually does.  But, for the most part, I feel like we are a team in terms of household maintenance.  

The way it’s currently shaking out:  I’ll do 99% of the grocery shopping, we both do cooking/clean-up, he’ll usually do more of the laundry, and I’ll usually do more of the house cleaning.

@busybride215:  I think the biggest thing I picked up on in your post is the expectation.  I don’t feel any sort of expectation from DH to do anything in particular in terms of chores/the way the house runs.

 

Post # 35
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I do all of the housework at the moment,but DH will help out if I ask him to. However this is because Im a student and only at college two days a week, if I didnt keep myself busy I would go mad, so it translates into housework,Before I began college and we were both working part time, we were working opposite shifts, so he would clean and do dishes etc when he wasnt working and vice versa. I have no problem doing all the housework now, because he works much more than I do, and he always appreciates it and notices when Ive tidied up/cleaned, he doesnt demand I do it.

If he ever did what your fella did,he would find me cleaning up only after myself and he could deal with his own mess. And Id be damned if I didnt make sure he knew about it too.

Post # 36
Member
4269 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I do all of the housework since he works a heck of a lot more then I do and pays most of the bills. I clean, do the laundry, etc. He is a foreman for a general contractor and sometimes works 10 hour days or 6 days a week doing manual labor. I don’t expect him to lift a finger when he gets home, it is nice if he does, but I let him relax. A lot of times he gets anxious and feels like he needs to do something, so I will smack his ass and tell him to take it easy. I cook dinner most of the time, but when he has his days off we will cook together and he will do the yard work.

I figure it is the least I could do. He works really hard while I took a massive paycut to work in the field I really wanted to be in.

Post # 37
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@Cady:  This is how I feel, DH has supported me in making a huge career change which has meant a loss of a paycheck for two years,with him being the sole income, and I do it because I want to,not neccessarily because I HAVE to.

Post # 38
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I do all of the housework: cleaning, laundry, cooking. I do it because I want to and my husband works long hours, hard labor.

He has never, ever demanded, expected, or even asked me to do these things.

Post # 39
Member
4269 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@family_girl:  Exactly, I don’t feel like I HAVE to and he has never asked me to take on the responsibility. I just do it to show I appreciate all he has done.

Post # 40
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I do the cooking, laundry, and indoor cleaning. My fiance handles all the outside stuff (yardwork, shoveling, cars, etc) as well as garbage and cat litter duty. Those last two alone make me more than happy with our arrangement!

Post # 41
Member
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I do 99% of the housework. He works long hours and is exhausted when he comes home. He will help, though, if the yard needs cleaning or if the dishes need to be put away, so I can’t complain.

Post # 42
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@busybride215:  Noooo. We split it evenly. I handle cleaning the kitchen and bathroom. He cleans the living room (which is a lot bigger and always ends up a  lot more cluttered than the kitchen and bathroom), as well as cleans the cat litter (two litter boxes). He gets the laundry washed/dried and brought up from the basement, and I fold everything, and we each put away our own clothes. We both work together cleaning the bedroom, and we both cook equally. Every morning, he makes a latte (for me.. I’m spoiled) and regular coffee (for himself) while I cook breakfast.

Everything is (usually) very even. Unless there is a week that he knows I’m stressed because of work (my job is a LOT more taxing than his!)… he often surprises me by cleaning the ENTIRE house, and having dinner already made for me by the time I get home.

We don’t believe in “wifely” duties. 🙂

Post # 43
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am a relief teacher so my hours can be a little over the place… When I am working full time (M-F the same as DH) I expect DH to help equally (he’s not a manual trade, in fact my job is more physically demanding than his) however if I have a day off during the week I will make sure I clean the house before he gets home for work so we can have a bonus “relax” night together… That has been our only argument actually because when I have a “day off” I will pretty much be doing housework most of the day and when he has a day off he doesn’t do anything except sit around and play PS3. After telling him it wasn’t fair he has started pulling his weight a little more.

Post # 44
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@redheadem:  Us too 😛

Post # 45
Member
2963 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i don’t work at the moment, but we both share all the responsibilities. we always joke about me doing “women’s work,” but he’s never expected any specific duties from me. my husband is in the military so he’s used to having to clean up after himself and whatnot. i was worried he’d revert to a 13 year old slob once he was out of the barracks, but so far so good.

we both take the trash/recyclables out when it needs to done and on trash day he will put the cans on the curb and i will bring them in when they’re empty.

we each do our own laundry. i do his once in a while if i see that there’s a load that needs to be done. i’ve seen how he does his laundry, therefore, i do not trust him with mine, haha.

we both do the dishes- either emptying/loading the dishwasher or washing by hand.

we both sweep/vacuum.

we have 2.5 bathrooms and i think i clean them more than he does, but i try to stay on top of it, so it doesn’t get too gross or take too long to clean.

we live on a military base, so yard work is taken care of for us.

i do most of the cooking. he always offers to help, but i know he’s tired from work, so i usually do it by myself and sometimes it’s easier that way. he hates reading instructions and gets mad when i tell him he needs to. so then i have to explain that i’m busy slicing veggies and making sure whatever is on the stove doesn’t burn and i can’t really stop to hold his hand thru the process of making rice-a-roni.

so yeah, op, he should definitely be helping out!

Post # 46
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I do a lot of the cooking, simply because I enjoy it more! His motto is that if i do the cooking, he does the dishes.  I’m home more often than he is, since I’m working from home right now, so I do the laundry and keep things picked up.  He helps with the cleaning on weekends and is great about folding laundry that’s been done already or doing the dishes. 

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