(Closed) Wild friends…how to address some stuff without offending them?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think if they have any respect for you at all, they wouldn’t do that at a wedding.

Post # 4
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

In my experience, adults generally know how to behave in different types of social situations (i.e. going to a bar/club vs. going to a wedding with family of the bride & groom present).  I wouldn’t worry about it too much ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I agree with the PP’s.  People generally rise to the occasion when they know it’s important.  However, if you do feel like you need to say something, go for it.  Only you know your friends and how you think they’ll act.

Fiance and I had to mention to some of his friends that alcohol is NOT an option at our wedding.  It’s unfortunate, not our choice, but it is what it is.  And we did not want them sneaking it in or anything like that because WE would get in trouble with my church.

So, in a situation like that, giving your friends a “heads up” might not be a bad idea.  If you’re worried about them just being a little crass, maybe not so much. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think joking about it would be fine. I’d prob say something like: “oh and btw if my grandma hears any inappropriate stories about me I am going to kick your ass later!”

Post # 10
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do you have any other friends who know them well but aren’t on their same level? I would probably ask someone (or a group of someones) to “babysit” them, so to speak. Make sure they don’t drink too much, head them off before they grab a microphone, etc. That kind of thing.

Post # 12
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would just tell them that some members of your family are very old-fashioned and conservative, so please be on your best behavior around them.

Post # 14
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It might help if you address it in a serious way, but not focused on specifically them. Like, “I’m just letting everyone know that my family is really conservative, so please be on your best behavior” rather than “You are a train wreck and my family will hate you.”

(Obviously you would never say something as drastic as the second, haha!)

Post # 16
1267 posts
Bumble bee

I would begin it in a jokey way like, ‘you know I love your wild ways, but I have a lot of conservative family going so no crazy stories, nudity or college frat party pda’s, ok?’  And just make sure they realize it. 

Or, if you’ve been somewhere with them and witnessed the behavior you can reference it, you know? ‘Don’t make out with Joe in the middle of the dance floor or try to do a keg stand on the altar like you did at Jane and Bob’s wedding, okay’? ๐Ÿ˜›

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