(Closed) Will appreciate your opinion on semi-elopement reception ideas please

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
29 posts
Newbee

I personally think this is a great idea and may end up doing something similar. I want to elope or have a destination wedding but I don’t want to exclude our immediate family. I was curious how it would work so that we can enjoy the rest of our honeymoon without our families after the ceremony. I love your timeline and I think the individual huts for eating lunch the next day are a great bonus. It will make things at least less awkward (there is going to be some tension) but hopefully everyone will understand that it is your day and leave the drama behind. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
9190 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I think it sounds beautiful and SO considerate of your family members, despite the drama they’re subjecting you to. It’s also convenient in that it gives people a handy excuse to back out of coming, as long as that a neutral or plus for you too. Smart planning, and congrats!

Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MatrixDonna:  What if you two eloped where ever you wanted, hired a lovely photographer or even videographer, then visited each family member in their country, took them out to dinner for a mini-reception meal and celebrated individually that way?

 

 

 

OR

 

 

 

Maybe your dad is OK with not being there, and you’re only assuming he HAS to be invited if your mom is?  I’d have a heart to heart with him.  Mom could be your only witness.

 

 

 

We had a Destination Wedding planned at one point and cancelled it due to my father’s terminal illness.  We later eloped after he had passed away and with all the money we saved we took like 4 vacations to visit some of the would be wedding guests.  We have a few more states to go. That way we spend quality time with our friends over a 3 day weekend.

 

 

 

I dont think your original idea is horrible, but you sound like you’re bending over backwards to make others happy and it’s your big day.

 

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MatrixDonna:  That’s good!  Sounds like your dad would not be that hurt really if he did not go!

I forgot to ask, with your original plan – do you plan to have a meal right after the cermeony/photos?  Or is the actual meal the next day?  I think if I were to fly all the way to Bali, I’d expect a meal right after to serve as the “reception” even if there is no dancing or DJ.  I’d probably also expect to see you the night before and maybe a brunch for the morning after.

Woud you be up for a very intimate wedding like your mom, future In-Laws and your BFF?  A pseudo-elopement?

You mentioned lots of people are telling you to elope.  Do you want something like that?

That’s OK, my dad did not see my get married twice now (nor did anyone in my family for that matter).  They are odd about weddings, not sure why.  My dad always said weddings were a huge PITA for everyone else involved – just elope and do everyone a favor!  I don’t think he would have flown even if he were alive and healthy.

Post # 10
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We’re going away to get married, just us two, then having parties afterwards in each of our respective home states.  It sounds as if you have come up with a good solution so that everyone can be involved without having much weirdness.

Post # 13
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MatrixDonna:  I think my mom is having mixed emotions but she has told me from day one it’s our day and to it our way, and to not listen to anyone, especially not her! LOL

Post # 14
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MatrixDonna:  Did you miss your parents on your wedding day? One of my friends said you wouldn’t think so but that is one day you actually DO want your parents to be there to share – otherwise it doesn’t feel real – talk about throwing a spanner into the works.

 

 

 

I would not agree with your friend’s statement.  I know every family is different though.

 

I did not miss my parents.  My dad died 88 days prior to our wedding day, but I did not cry about the fact that he was gone, nor was I wishising he were there honestly.  He already met and loved my H.  I was more relieved that he was not in pain any more.

 

My mom is a self centered pill.  I did not even call or email her until I returned to the US.)  After a few of her upsetting comments to me (“Why are you even excited?” “What’s the big deal?” “Why do I have to go?” “What else is there going to be besides a wedding, that’s a long way to go you know?”) I vowed never to share any thing personal with her ever again. She probably would have thrown a fit on my wedding day because she wanted attention on her like she did on my sister’s wedding day.

 

We have three sisters total between us.  I think they were honestly relieved to not have to travel if we had a wedding for them.  They all have small children too.  No one was sad to not see me in my dress.  The photographer zipped me up just fine!

 

Now my ILs where there (in-laws).  H’s parents were our witnesses and only guests.  That was very sweet of them to show up, I think they were the only ones that wanted to be there, but we could have done it without them too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good luck with your plans!  They don’t sound easy given the logistics, and if you’re like me they will probably change up a million times!  Maybe it will be your mom and BFF after all!

 

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