(Closed) Will children be at your wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is your plan?
    Yes, I'll invite kids (both family and friends' kids) : (50 votes)
    38 %
    Yes, but only family kids : (31 votes)
    24 %
    Yes, but only the ring bearer/flower girl : (13 votes)
    10 %
    No, my wedding will be adults-only : (30 votes)
    23 %
    Other : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee


    Post # 4
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Only our nephew was invited…the ring bearer. And his other grandma (my SIL’s MIL) took him home by 8pm or so. 

    Post # 5
    1084 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I think it might depend on who all has kids, we were kinda at that age where our friends and cousins had younger kids, but not all that many had kids, and people our parents age had grown up kids, so we only invited them if we were still close to them.  So since there were only like 6 kids, it wasn’t a big deal, if everyone had kids and we were talking about an extra 30 people, we might have had to do things differently.

    Post # 6
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    we had lost of kids.  We had a separate kids room with DVDs and games and crafts and stuff, but  they were tearing up teh dance floor (in a good way) and provided some amazing entertainment.  My 2 year old niece pulled off her flower girl dress and ran around the dance floor in a diaper and was like “POPPA!  LOOKIT ME!  KELLY  LOOKIT ME!  MATT!  LOOKIT ME!”.  It was REALLY funny.  Those memories are the best ones

    Post # 7
    467 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    only the flower girl and ring bearer

    everyone else under 16 isnt invited – it would be wayyyy too many kids any other way

    Post # 8
    4465 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Only the flower girl and we expect her to be picked up pretty early.

    Post # 9
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I will only have my first cousins at my wedding… they’re all pretty young as I was the first grandchild and I couldn’t imagine getting married without them there!  My brother and Fiance (AHHH THAT’s THE FIRST TIME I WROTE THAT!!! WE JUST GOT ENGAGED LAST NIGHT!!!!) his sister doesn’t have kids yet either.

    Post # 10
    27 posts
    • Wedding: March 2010

    if you have 8 children, that is 8 adult guests seats.  there’s already enough problems trying to get all your adult guestlist in for your wedding.  plus, you don’t know if kids will act up or want attention.  do you really want a kid screaming or crying in the background during your ceremony?

    that’s why we chose to only have the flower girl and ring bearer.  our best man has three kids but they will stay home with the grandparents.  at weddings i’ve been to, parents usually leave the kids at home…it’s almost like a nice break for them cuz they need it once in a while!

    Post # 11
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    Actually, the ring bearer isn’t family, but we are very close.  There is only one other guest who is not family and under the age of 35, but her grandmother & my mom were very close and I was Maid/Matron of Honor for her mom (we grew up like cousins–not sisters b/c we didn’t live in the same town).

    I have told friends that they can bring their children to the ceremony (apparently little girls who are elementary school aged LOVE weddings), but it is essentially and adult only reception (with the exception of out of town family).

    Post # 12
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Well my little brother is 11 so he’ll obviously be there.  Then there’s the ring bearer and flower girl, 1.5 and 8.  Plus, my annoying Aunt through a fit so we had to let her odd child come, who is 9 (I’m really annoyed about that).  We didn’t want children because 1.  Paying $30 for them to eat a single chicken finger wouldn’t be cool at all.  and 2.  We wanted the parents to have a fun date night!  I’m sure people will be mad but oh well! 

    Post # 13
    1347 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @jwedbee – that’s true, I am a little worried about having kids crying or whatnot during the ceremony, but if they do, I’ll just hope the parents take them outside for a bit. And if it interrupts a little bit, well… We’re still getting married, and ten years from now, no one is going to remember that crying kid, and I’ll still have a wedding with family and kids that I care about.

    I guess I have it easier anyway, because we’re having a church ceremony but an outdoor reception, so I don’t have to worry about seating, but I can definitely see how that would be a concern.

    That’s the beauty of weddings – we can all do whatever suits us best. Kids, no kids, cake, cupcakes, garter toss, no garter toss, whatever. 🙂

    Post # 14
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I would have voted OTHER.  As much as I ADORE them, I didn’t want kids other than my nephew who’s our Ring Bearer.  However, Fiance wanted to invite kids and said his aunts & uncles would definitely not come if they couldn’t bring their children (which I find ridiculous, but that’s another story).  I love kids, they crack me up, and we’re even having a fairly kid-friendly wedding our on the farm, BUT I have about 25 first cousins, half of whom are married and have 2-4 kids each.  If we open the gates to “kids” they will practically out number the adults!  Fiance & his brother are the oldest kids on his side, he has 10 cousins under 15; I have only 3.  So we’re inviting first cousin kids only, no children of our cousins (whcih only affects me).  Since my cousins kids are all the same age and play with the couple of younger cousins I am inviting, I KNOW I’m going to hear about it, but we had to draw a line somewhere.  The numbers right now are 123 adults & 13 kids (+ 2 <6 month infants).  It was our first big compromise when we first started planning=)

    Post # 15
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    For me family is family – doesn’t matter how old.  If you are able to fly out for our wedding, we will welcome you and your family with open arms.

    Post # 16
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Where’s the other option?! haha Anyways, we are including children 12 and older at our wedding. Fiance and I didn’t want kids at all at the wedding, but I negotiated with my mom and we are going with 12 and up. This works well because we have family and close familu friends with teenage children.

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