(Closed) Will having a baby ruin my life?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 46
4054 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

herrera2016 :  Sign language back fired for us, DS was so content signing I swear that kid didn’t talk till Kindergarten!  Apparently it was just easier to sign!  He’s still not much of a talker and he’s 13 lol. 

Post # 47
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Personally, having my daughter has been the best thing I’ve ever done. Life has changed beyond recognition, but I love my new life (most of the time!) and still manage to do things I enjoyed before.

It has tested my marriage, but we have managed to be kind and patient with each other and just about keep the spark alive! Seeing my husband grow into his role as a father has deepened my love for him in a way I couldn’t imagine. The romantic and sexual side of our relationship is on the back burner a bit, but is getting better as our baby starts to need me less intensely and allows us a bit more sleep.

I don’t think a baby will ruin your life, but it will drop a crazy, wonderful, chaotic bomb on it!

Post # 48
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I am 28 years old and 32 weeks pregnant with baby #1. Darling Husband is 30. We have been together since we were 22 and 25 respectively, and got married September 2015.

Don’t get me wrong, I always knew I wanted to be a Mom…for much of my childhood and early teens I thought I wanted to be a young Mom even! But something was always holding me back. To be honest, I found other peoples kids super annoying and obnoxious (still do). I worried that this meant on a subconscious level I didn’t want to be/shouldn’t be a Mom. I too worried about a kid ruining my life!

However, when I was 27 and a newlywed, I finally had my ‘lightbulb’ moment. I’d done everything I wanted to do, accomplished so much. Though Darling Husband and I hadn’t been married long, we’d been together for over four years and hit all the broadstrokes we wanted to as a couple before kids. 

In essence, I knew I was ready to be a Mom….and I am SO GLAD I waited for that moment!

You’re moment will come too 🙂


Post # 49
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsDA :  Well yeah, they kinda do. I mean they drain you emotionally, physicall and finacially.  They constantly need you. Women are the ones who tend to(though not always) do the bulk of the childcare.  The women I have seen in my circle lose who they are and become mothers. Its as if they forgot their former self.

Post # 50
9632 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had like..no maternal instinct. I never babysat. I didn’t coo over other people’s babies. Hell even at my induction I was like “WTF HAVE WE DONE Darling Husband I CAN’T EVEN CHANGE A DIAPER”. hahaha

But honestly motherhood has come very easily for me and I’m lucky to have a pretty happy baby (well, toddler now!). Darling Husband has been an amazing dad and partner.

I mean yeah, if you’re the type of person that parties every weekend, goes to happy hour 3 times a week and is never home, a baby is going to be a HUGE lifestyle change, and probably not a happy one. That’s why it’s important IMO to have a baby at the right stage in your life.

And I think a lot of those “happiness” studies were found to be exaggerated, once things like education, income etc were factored in.

Post # 52
488 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrsDA :  I think the studies are true – people are less happy with kids, but a funny thing about humans is that we often do things that don’t make us happy. See hobbies like mountain climbing, ultra marathons etc, that are objectively miserable, but something keeps people going back to them. Whether it be the challenge, or something else. Happiness doesn’t make us happy! 

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