- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I feel dumb posting this here, seems like most of the postings are about baby names, baby showers, and all that happy stuff that you think about before you have the baby. Here I am 11 months in as a new mom…of beutiful, healthy, happy twin boys. Nothing like a mother’s love, the experience has been extraordinary, their birth…like a dream, I sitll think about it every day. But where and who can I talk to about what I’m going through? I feel so alone, so isolated….my husband has the whole que sera sera additude, that we just have to struggle, and then struggle some more becuase it is what it is.
I’ve actually been quite surprised with how “easy” having twins can be in many ways I find it very managable…call me exceptionally equiped, but swear to God, I’m NOT. What I am struggling with is sleep problems. One of my boys has slept through the night from 3 months old, the other has kept us up all night from 3 months old. I’m at my wits end. I’ve read allt he books, I’ve talked to my pediatrician, I’ve tried many things, had a hard time letting him cry (due to waking of the other twin) but we moved things around modified, did everything we could think of to help our situation. We recently did a week straight of CIO, which helped for about a month and now things are even worse, his crying is even louder and now he’s standing up in his crib and throwing himself down…I feel like all the sleep advice is aimed towards how to help yourself before your babies become “older babies”…..and now I feel screwed. Even though we followed the doctors advice from 3 months, and then 6 months, nothing has helped. We recently had been so desperate for sleep we went back to offering him bottles in the middle of the night. Now we are on day 5 of no bottles after bedtime…, but we aren’t letting him cry it out, we are soothing him in other ways hoping he will get used to not eating at night sooner or later….in hopes he will be able to sleep.
I guess I’m not looking for a solution, I am ust so tried and I feel like there is no help for anyone like me. What if I have another year or two of my poor little boy crying and waking 1-5 times a night. Often times I can’t even figure out what he wants, I feel like 85% of the time he wants a bottle, the rest maybe just comfort. I don’t know…all I know is I followed my pediatricaians advice and it worked for one child but not for the other and I’m so exausted and frustrated and I feel like a failure evertime we try somethign and it doesnt work.
I enjoy every minute with them but I just wish we could all get some rest. I could deal with hikm waking once a night, maybe even twice but some nights it’s over and over agian until you figure out exaclty what he wants/give in to exactly what he wants. I get anxious every night before bed, when I hear him let out a loud cry for the 3rd or 4th time, I feel like dying…like how can I go on, how can I go to work in two hours…how?