Post # 1
I’ve pretty much came to the realization that my ex Fiance will not come back anymore. Now I’m at the point where I get mad at her for her putting me through this pain and heartache. I still love her but am just mad at the situation. I still play the what if game realize that can’t change what happened and won’t bring her back. I’ve started seeing a therapist to help me get through this because I’m depressed, have terrible anxiety and attacks. Ive started a new job this week and I’m trying so hard to concentrate but she is all I think about. I just want her out of my mind.
I guess my biggest fear is that I’m going to end up alone the rest of my life. I feel like I’m never going to find love again. Is this normal to think after going through a hard break up? Anytime that thought enters my mind my anxiety level goes through the roof and my mind starts racing. I feel like I have a lot to offer for a girl but I just feel like my confidence is shot right now.
Post # 3
You are nowhere near ready to be in a new relationship, so this shouldn´t even be an issue at this point.
You need to let go of your ex, the anger and the what-ifs before you will be ready to meet the love of your life, someone who deserves 100% of your heart, which you are not capable of giving right now. Only when you are a happy, confident person who´s got his life together will you be ready to meet her. Your priority at the moment should be to deal with your anxiety and your depression.
At the moment you are only looking for a rebound, someone to fill the void your ex left. No girl deserves to be put in that role. If your mind is preoccupied with your ex, simply meeting another person is not the answer. You need to fill your life with meaning and purpose that doesn´t revolve around a relationship.
Post # 4
Packers, you are doing well. Good for you for recognizing your need for help and getting into counseling. It’s time to put your ex behind you and focus on YOU. Even if you can’t begin to LOOK past tomorrow, you can look at yourself right now.
Chin up. You have a lot to offer the right person, at the right time. That time is NOT now.
Post # 5
Yes you will! You are making progress so keep moving forward and I know it’s hard, but try not to look back as much. Everyone here has given such great advice to you! We all are cheering you on!
Post # 6
To answer your question, yes I do think it’s normal to be afraid you’ll end up alone after a difficult break-up. I also think you’ll only end up alone if you want to. If love and marriage are something that you want, you will find them when you have healed yourself. Good luck in your therapy, you will get past this.
Post # 7
I think you’ll be fine… As long as you don’t jump into anything too soon. Keep it up with the therapy!
Post # 8
Give yourself some time to get over her. It may take a while. Trust me, there are very good reasons why the two of you are no longer together. Someone better and more suited to you will come along.
Post # 9
It is totally normal to worry about this. Right now, focus on you and your own happiness and self-confidence. It’s not the right time yet, but when it is, I believe you’ll find love again.
Post # 10
Your reaction is very normal. When I suffered a broken heart a few years ago I did not think I would rebound. I’d have the same moments of he’s the only one, I’ll never find someone.
But I took small steps, and when the time was right, I found someone. I took it slow, but it was the best thing for me and 100% better than I could have imagined.
Work on you. Be patient with yourself. Work on your feelings and be honest w/yourself. You will find someone so much better! Best of luck to you.
Post # 11
Thank you everyone for your replies, truly means a lot.
Post # 12
I had a horrible break up before I met my now husband. We met on the Internet through a dating site. When you’re ready, give it a go. It worked wonders for my ego, which was so badly damaged by my ex, it was nice to realise that there were other men (and women) out there genuinely looking for a girl just like me, and luckily I ended up finding my match. My ex missed out big time. Chin up, you will find someone that your are meant to be with.
Post # 13
@Packers12: Remember the first time you broke/lost your favorite toy and it seemed like the end of the world? Or the first time you liked a girl and she didn’t like you back? This is that same situation. Yes it’s upsetting now, but once you get past this part (and it will pass), you will be a stronger, wiser person. *HUGS*
Post # 14
All my friends say that I deserve someone better and that she is a spoiled brat. Why can’t I get her off my mind then?? She is all I think about all day, honestly sometimes I feel like I’m going insane. Right now, if she wanted to get back together I would in a heart beat…
Post # 15
Should I feel jealous if my ex gets something for valentines day or just not even think about it, which is very hard to do. I gave in today and went on Facebook and even though I’m not friends with her I could still stuff on her profile and I saw she had put up a picture with her and a guy she goes to school with. Could she be starting a new relationship already or is it just a friend.
Post # 16
@Packers12: You need to block her on fb so you won’t be tempted to look. Nothing good can come from looking at her profile. Honestly, yes, she may be starting a new relationship. Often times the person who initiated the break up is more likely to move on more quickly since they had already checked out of the relationship. Try not to let this get you down! When I went through painful breakups, I tried to think of it as being one more person closer to meeting the one for me! Try to reframe your thoughts into positives.