Post # 1
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
Hi ladies, I have a quick question that may have an obvious answer, but I don’t know it! I’m going to a wedding in about two weeks, and FH is a groomsman. Is it normal/polite to allow dates of the attendants to sit at the head table? I will of course survive if I can’t, but I was wondering what the standard is on this matter. I’m not having a “normal” reception for my wedding, so I haven’t given it much thought before.
Post # 3
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
Typically, no, it is only the wedding party at the head table.
Post # 4
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
No, you will sit with the rest of the guests.
Post # 5
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
@rosyQ87: Every wedding I’ve been to where there was a head table was bride/grrom and bridal party only, no dates. I have seen someone do a king’s table before which had bridal party and their dates with the bride&groom.
Post # 6
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
All depends. Most accommodating brides realize that their Bridal Party will want to sit with their SO’s but some don’t. You’ll either have to ask the bride (which I personally wouldn’t do since that could come off as annoying) or just wait and see when you get there. Are you sure they’re even having a head table? Was it previously discussed?
Post # 7
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
@rosyQ87: I had to sit at the head table while my Fiance was seated with the dates of other bridesmaids in the last wedding I was in :(. It depends on the bride though, some will choose to have a sweetheart table with just the bride and groom, while seating the bridal party with their dates at other tables.
Post # 8
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
I have never been to a wedding where dates of the bridal party sat at the head table. However, is seating is arranged, I do notice that the dates will usually sit together, and this does not make for bad company (personal experience). You will survive…plus I’m sure Fiance will look fantastically handsome as a GM!!!
Post # 9
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee
Maybe, but probably not. Don’t be upset if you don’t though, it isn’t personal.
How do you plan to handle it at your wedding?
Post # 10
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
This is the exact reason we are doing a sweetheart table!
Post # 11
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
I would expect you will be seated at a guest table, not at the head table.
I try to look at these situations, as a chance to practice my socialization skills. To try to learn something about new people. To ask questions about them, and have great conversations.
Post # 12
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
Thanks for the responses! The head table issue hasn’t been formally discussed, but I get this impression that the entire wedding is a very traditional and formal affair, and I would be surprised if they didn’t have one. I’m not going to worry about it too much, I guess I’ll just have to admire FH in his snazzy tux from afar!
Post # 13
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
@JessesGirl: We’re having a short cocktail reception in a swanky lounge, so we’re not really having formal seating or a head table or anything. Just drinks, lots of delicious heavy hors d’oeuvres and mingling. We’re having a very small destination wedding 🙂
@andielovesj: Good call! I’m always in need of brushing up my socialization skills, especially now with about a bazillion weddings on the horizon.
Post # 14
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee
@rosyQ87: I am 100% in agreement with andielovesj on the matter of exercising one’s making-conversation skills. At truly-formal occasions the norm is for all couples to be separated precisely to ensure that the conversation is general and doesn’t devolve into a whole group of twosomes ignoring one another. Those social skills stand you in good stead in business life at corporate AGMs, or if (God forbid) you find yourself campaigning for local office. And it is great fun, when you have made the effort to get your favourite man well-turned-out, to watch him turn heads.
But, it is even nicer if he realizes that playing second fiddle to the bride can be a bit erosive of the ego, and does some things to remind you that you are number one with him. And, just in case he hasn’t thought of it, you can consider leaving this post “accidentally” up on the screen when he needs the computer for a moment 😉
For example: he might consider buying you flowers to wear. An old-fashioned gentlemen routinely provides a corsage for his lady prior to a night out — it isn’t just a “mothers and grandmothers” thing. Or, if flowers aren’t your thing, this would be a good occasion to surprise you with a gift of jewelry you could wear to the wedding. If he is going to be riding in a wedding car, he should consider how you are going to get to the ceremony and a reception, and perhaps arrange for a buddy to pick you up and drive you, or arrange for your cab, or lend you the keys to his hot car. During the cocktail hour he probably won’t be available to hang off your arm, but he can take a moment to talk to you and introduce you to a couple more people. Once the obligatory dances are over he should make a point of dancing with you first and last, and also introduce you to other people that might dance with you. And so on.
Post # 15
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
I agree with others that it’s unlikely. However, I prefer that my bridal party sits with their dates (I know they’ll have more fun that way), so we’re not having them sit separately. We’re non-traditional, though.
Post # 16
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
This is the exact reason we are not having a head table!
We have 1 couple in our BP so we`ve decided to have a sweetheart table for us and then our Bridal Party with their SO will sit together beside where our parents are sitting.
