Post # 17
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
@daniellemybelle: Most likely I will be doing the same (my brother walking me down)… my father is dead, but even if he were alive he wouldn’t be walking me down the aisle. Matter of fact he would probably not even BE there. We had not been close since I was a first grader, really, and the distance only grew over the years. I could never bring myself to “pretend” in that manner just for appearances..
My mother though, she’s one who is all about appearances and would be the sort to suggest I do this or that and “fake it” because it’s what you are “supposed to do”. It’s infuriating but I think it’s generational.
Post # 18
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
yeah the “giving away” thing has always seemed strange to me. but if you BOTH kissed your parents at the end of the aisle, i think it’d be a nice and “traditional” touch that might make your mom leave you alone…
if it doesn’t though… just do what you want. either she’ll get over it or she won’t. and if she doesn’t, well then you don’t need that kind of negativity around you anyway!
Post # 19
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: December 2010 - University of Toronto Faculty Club
I know you’ve already gotten some good advice on this, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s really frustrating to have other people pressuring you to do things you don’t want to. I definitely agree that if you want to walk down the aisle with your fiancé you definitely should. I love the symbolism of that. Don’t get bullied into something you’ll regret!
Post # 20
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
Here’s a compromise, and it would draw attention to the fact that you and your fiance walk to the alter together.
You could have your father (and mother if you want) walk to half-way down the aisle. Your fiance (and his parents if he wants) could walk half way and meet you in the middle.
After that you and your fiance would walk togther the rest of the way followed at a distance by your parents who would then take their seats.
Post # 21
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
Thaks bees,
good advice, I will try to implement some of your suggestions…
Post # 22
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
Do what you want. Do’t even let her talk about it. Tell her “I made my decision”
Post # 23
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
i agree with Cant wait…i wouldnt let someting like this put more stress on your wedding planning because the walkin down the aisle part is just a few minutes of the whole day
Post # 24
Member
12 posts
Newbee
I don’t know if you are getting married in a Catholic church or not, but in the traditional Catholic marriage rite, the couple walks down together anyways. While most Catholic weddings have now adopted the popular “giving away” of the bride, it is actually supposed to be the bride and groom entering in together. I just thought I would throw that out because you could use that as an excuse, but I don’t know if that is true in other denominations.
Anyways, you have been given great advice by the others. Good luck!
Post # 25
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
So I think you should do what makes you happy but for me the walking down the aisle was a bit of a moment.
It just seemed like it was symbolic of us being seperate and then me meeting him at the alter (since he proposed) to form a union. I liked the idea of entering the ceremony seperately and then leaving together, it just felt like what was actually occuring.
Post # 26
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
Update!
So without any prompting, my mom told me she and dad thought about it, and if it’s important to me to walk with my fiancé they are OK with it! I then told her about what Miss Elephant suggested – fiancé and I walking together and before going up to the officiant we kiss/hug our parents and my mom loved that idea! So it all worked out, thankfully! 🙂
Thank you all for your support and suggestions!
Member