- 2 years ago
Has anyone kept their mother or any family member from their newborn baby, for how long, and was there any ounce of regret?
I have a strained relationship with my mother and for 2 years (and counting), I have not met her without my husband (who is my buffer). Safe to say my mother and I do not bring out the best in each other. I do think it would be nice for my child and mother to have a relationship, but I feel that it has to be on my own terms. Could be 2 weeks or a month after baby is born. I don’t know yet.
My mother keeps on offering her help with our newborn once he/she is here and my husband and I have thanked her but declined every offer, each time explaning that we wish to learn on our own and need time to establish new routines. Recently, she told my husband that she would remain silent around me so as not to stress me out. I just find it sad that she has to resort to silence instead of saying something encouraging, finding something positive to say to her daughter.
I have considered not informing her when baby arrives so my husband and I can focus on our new baby and i can recover without her presence at the hospital. I oscillate between feeling resolute with my plan and guilt over not including her in this journey(she would be a grandmother for the first time). My husband does not try to sway my decision, but he reminds me that she is trying to do better. I can see she is.
Any similar stories/words of wisdom/what would you do in my position?