(Closed) Will it be odd if we open our gifts for each other privately?

posted 10 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: Will it be odd if we open our gifts for each other privately?

    Yes - it's rude, you should try to fit in and open them with everyone else.

    No - it's not rude, but it's a little weird.

    No - it's perfectly fine.

    Other, please explain.

  • Post # 17
    1557 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011


    I understand you’re not being rude, it’s a legitimate question! 

    My oldest sister actually started doing this with her kids b/c they had SO many Christmases to go to. My mother refuses to have Christmas dinner on any day but Christmas, and they also have her husbands grandmother’s to go to on Christmas day. Then on top of that, she has to deal with her daughter’s father’s family, as well, and her husband’s father’s family. 

    So by the time all is said and done, if she did it on the 25th, the kids would be getting up, opening presents, then showering and leaving for a dinner. 

    We did this as kids, and it wasn’t fun. You have to leave all your fun new presents at home and go to a dinner with family when you just want to play. My parents do presents for all the kids, but when I was little my grandma had too many kids to buy for (grandkids and great grandkids) so she would give the little grandkids presents to their parents for us to open so that the ones who didn’t get presents wouldn’t be upset. So it wasn’t like I was going over to more presents… just food and a bunch of people I barely knew! 

    Add to that the fact that Fiance and I will likely be moving out of state at some point- we won’t be able to sacrifice Christmas with family, but I also want them to have Christmas morning in their own house. 

    So, you just tell them that Santa is a very understanding man, and that he’s willing to come to their house early. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 18
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Not odd at all.

    We’ve always had “our” Christmas where we exchange gifts just us two, and not open them in front of our families.

    Also, we do the one by one gift too ๐Ÿ™‚ and I thought it was odd when people just open their gifts all at the same time, haha! It’s funny that whatever we are used to as kids, anything different is a little “strange or weird”

    Post # 19
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    When we celebrate with my parents, I generally give my SO presents so that he has something to open while everyone else is opening their gifts and he gives me most of my presents at his parent’s house.

    I dislike the idea of opening gifts one at a time! We slow down on our own as most people like to see the face of the person opening their gift. If I went to a lot of trouble with a gift for someone, I want to watch them open it. But one at a time is weird.

    I’d suggest just giving one or two presents at his parent’s house and saying you have a new tradition.

    Post # 20
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    My husband’s family has the same tradition of opening gifts on Christmas Eve (and one at a time – I feel you on that). We’ve never brought our gifts to each other with us to that – we open them separately when we are back in our own house. We’ve never thought twice about doing that and they’ve never mentioned anything or indicated that they were bothered by it.

    I say go for it – especially if your husband thinks it won’t be a big deal – he knows them best, right?

    Post # 21
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think that it would be fine to open your gifts to each other on your own but I would probably bring one or two small ones to the family exchange too.

    As for the one-at-a-time thing – I LOVE opening gifts that way.  Growing up, one side of the family did gifts one-at-a-time and the other everyone just opened gifts at will (so I’m not preconditioned to one method or the other from childhood).  Even as a child, I HATED the opening gifts at will.  You never got to see people open what you got them and you missed half (or more) of what was even given.  It actually made gift giving not very fun, IMO.  I will always do one-at-a-time opening with DH and our future children.

    Post # 22
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I don’t think it’s rude at all. We are opening ours together at home.

    Post # 23
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    My MIL’s side of the family does this…the one gift, one person at a time thing and it is annoying.  And with 20 people, ugh.  I just hate all the eyes on me and then I don’t react appropriately according to Mother-In-Law so then it just ruins everything.

    I vote open them up in private.

    Post # 24
    4544 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I don’t think it’s rude at all! We’ve always (even before we were married) opened our gifts up privately. I think SIL and Brother-In-Law do that as well. It’s a personal moment just between us and no one has ever said anything to us. This year is our first year doing stockings and I got him some playing cards with the karma sutra on them so we’re certainly not opening them in front of his parents! When we visit my parents for Christmas (ever other year since they’re a plane flight away), we open our presents to each other before we leave.

    Post # 25
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I don’t think it’s weird or rude at all. My husband and I are planning a date night instead of getting gifts, but if we did, I would definitely want to open them in private. Those are personal gifts between the two of you, not necessarily for everyone else to see. My husband and I did that last year, though on different days and not on Christmas, and I really liked sharing that private moment with him.

    And I understand about it taking hours to open presents. My ex-boyfriend’s family did that (there were children though), and I always felt so awkward to just be watching. It got to be later and later, and I just wanted to go home.

    Post # 26
    2825 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    View original reply
    @tinylittlebird: phew!  That is a very busy Christmas day, I’m tired just thinking about all of the logistics of it all!  I can understand the reasoning. ๐Ÿ™‚

    As a kid I never really minded having to wait to play with my christmas toys, I always really enjoyed seeing my extended family (I didn’t see them often) and we barely saw my Dad’s side of the family so we were never torn between the two which made it easy.  But then again I wasn’t really a normal child. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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