(Closed) will my girls not be there ?

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 31
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It does suck to get a perspective you don’t want to hear, but it’s necessary sometimes. International travel is a big ask, even for a wedding, even for siblings, even for people you’ve been friends with for 20+ years. It just is. You’re not selfish for having a wedding in Greece. You’re right, plenty of people get married where family is, or have destination weddings. It’s totally fine that it’s your priority. Unfortunately, there’s a pretty clear line in the sand when planning something like this: It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s priority. You can’t make them, and you can’t assume you know their financial situation and work demands. 

You’re right, we’re strangers. Rather than calling us harsh insensitive jerks, realize that we have no reason to lie to you like your family and friends do. 

Post # 32
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee

oh boy. 

Post # 33
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee

Lol, this thread made my day

Post # 34
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Actually no you can’t expect your sister there. You want her there so badly? Then have a local wedding.

Also your friends at 25? I was 25 last year and I can tell you right now I would not go to Greece for a wedding when I haven’t gone on a Europe trip for my own personal pleasure, spending thousands of dollars and vacation time to see a wedding is not anyone’s top priority except the bride and groom.

Not to mention at that age is when people save for houses, cars and their own life.. a trip to Europe for a wedding would put a dent in those savings.

Yes plenty of people get married in Europe, but they don’t except their friends to drop everything and come.

Post # 35
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

When I was 26, I was in my friend’s wedding on the other side of the U.S. No, I had no “attachments” at the time — no kids, no mortgage. But I did have rent and bills and debt, and I desperately needed a new car. Because of her wedding (which cost me “just” $1,600 in all — and yes, I had almost two years’ notice), I had to put off buying a car for a YEAR.

Three months after my friend’s wedding, my old and crappy car stranded me in the middle lane of a highway in pouring rain. Yes, I’m glad that I made it to my friend’s wedding — she was and is to this day one of my best friends, and I made lots of great memories — but my choice not to replace my car when I needed to nonetheless put me in a very bad situation.

Moral of this story: Don’t presume to know what people can/can’t afford, even with significant notice. 

Post # 36
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

The bees have covered everything. My so and I haven’t had the pleasure of going to Greece yet. His parents have. They have traveled to many places and they personally told me it was the most they spent on a vacation. Costed them over 10K, it was in September for 2 weeks, they have timeshare, rented a car, and didn’t do many activities. They purchased tickets 1.5-2yrs in advance. Like someone else mentioned, it’s not a wedding in mexico where things are much cheaper. When I went I was drinking 50cent beers. I doubt you can get that in greece.

I’m currently on a long road trip with my SO. I’m purposely getting back home to be there for my friends Bach party so I can show my support. There’s been some bogus plan made before the event starts. I’m opting out of that part and not paying for it. Not because I can’t afford it. Not because I don’t care or want to support her, but because I get to dictate how I spend my money. She keeps freaking out thinking ppl don’t care. No, it’s not that. She needs to lower her expectations. I sincerely hope my friend knows I’m cutting my vacation short to be there for her. I’d be seriously offended if I knew she was upset because here I am taking a road tip and not emptying my bank account for her. Not how things work.

Post # 37
Member
11371 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Thanks for clearing up the origin of the problem. 

Post # 38
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Hm, I can’t imagine why your friends don’t want to drop thousands on your big, special princess day. You sound so nice!!

Post # 39
Member
37 posts
Newbee

View original reply
anatheanalyst :  you hit the right spot. At 25, a lot of people would still be paying off student loans and saving up for their own future. It’s not like everyone will have a big fat bank account to drop several thousands of dollars to just go to an international wedding. 

 

Post # 40
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

This just in – 25 year olds don’t have jobs or bills they have to pay. 🙄 Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

Post # 41
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
mybigfatgreek :  I agree with @whniz and I would like to add that you sound incredibly selfish and whiny. Have the wedding closer to home and honeymoon in Greece if your friends mean that much to you.

Post # 42
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
mybigfatgreek :  while I somewhat agree with the common consensus on this thread, I do agree that bees can be incredibly and unreasonably harsh on this board, with no exception to your post. I was also for lack of a better word bullied on the Bee so i hope I hope i can relay the msg in a more positive experience way.

I really do understand the disappointment of thinking no one will come support you on your very special day. It’s heartbreaking. You want to feel that your loved ones would do for you what you would do for them. Even though friendships are not all tit for tat, no one wants a one sided friendship. It’s tough.

On the other hand, it is a big expense. And you never know the real situation of your loved ones…maybe there is a reason you don’t know about keeping them from coming? That’s huge you cant rly have high expectations in a destination wedding. For example, I can afford to go to Greece. But I may have been in the early stages of planning something else next year, which a trip to Greece would impede. 

Try to be understanding of diff people’s situations and do not let it hamper your special day!! Having 2 receptions may be the key?!

 

Post # 43
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
mybigfatgreek :  Wow…. “My friends are 25 with out any serious commitments in life” yep tots babes, they’re all just mad jelly and have nothing else going on in their lives but you.

Grow up. Just because people disagree with your viewpoint, they’re not ‘jerks’. Maybe you are.

Post # 44
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
wawa92017 :  you were also bullied? Sorry that is ridiculous , in what way do the comments in this thread even come close to bullying?

Implying OP is being bullied here because she didn’t get the sympathy she wanted is too much.

And here’s the thing, had OP have come here and wrote a post about how hard it was to have families split between countries and how sad she was that she might not have her closest friends with her on her wedding day then she would have received everyone’s sympathy.  She didn’t though, she came here with all guns blazing complaining that her friends were jealous , uncaring and not real friends if they couldn’t fly to Greece for her wedding, she apparently made it ‘so cheap’ for them after all. And according to her they don’t have anything else going on in their own lives that could possibly take priority over her special day/week.

Post # 45
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
wawa92017 :  This forum is unicorns and rainbows compared to some of the other wedding forums.  Just because someone posts and doesn’t get the answers they want doesn’t mean they’re “bullied”.

OP, I don’t think I can add anything else, and this is probably a waste of time since you’re so upset that no one sees your point of view, but when I was 25, I didn’t have the disposable income to just travel to Greece so I think you’re being very judgey of your friends.  One of the things that mades brides turn into bridezillas is when they feel like they can start dictating how others spend their money and vacation time.  You have definitely crossed that line.

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