(Closed) Will our weddings be the same???

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

WEll, if tthere are out of towners involved, she really should have thought about that before booking her wedding for 3 weeks later, thats pretty weird.. but on the plus side, you’ll save money. the only one of those things i think that matters is that she booked the same band, it’ll be kind of repetative. but photos, transport, whatever.. and church, well those are kind of limited. My advice, don’t worry about it- you have enough to stress about

Post # 4
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Focus on the positive…she was engaged after you, is marrying after you, and what will look/appear repetitious will be after yours!  Wink


Post # 5
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Man! Was she in on most of your planning? If so and her stuff is booked then I wouldn’t worry about it, but I’d be just as angry as you are so it’s hard to say that. If you go ahead with everything and she keeps goin then I would talk to her.

Post # 6
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with @melisslp: – since her wedding is after yours, it will be obvious who copied who!

That stinks about some relatives trying to “decide what’s fair” and only go to one. I would hate that, too. I don’t know what you can do about it except hope that the relatives that you most want to be there will be able to make it to yours. :-/

Post # 8
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with the others; she will be the one who looks like the copycat.  But I would also suggest keeping any other plans you have made secret.

Post # 9
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry. I know this is upsetting to you and I’m trying to be understanding, but I just don’t get the whole copying and being upset about the closeness of dates. Maybe it’s because I have three sisters so things were always copied. Your wedding will be unique because it’s yours; everyone experiences things differently so it’s hard to imagine that, even though the vendors are the same, her wedding will be identical. I will agree it sucks that the family is now choosing sides.

On a personal note: Fiance and I have been engaged for five years, we set the date in September. Everyone has known this date since September. His immediate boss got engaged to a girl he’s been with forever during Christmas. The fifth of this month we received an invitation to their wedding, which happens to be the weekend before ours. I am/was happy for them. I even made a thread about it.

It’ll be ok and your wedding will be beautiful.

Post # 10
35 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would try getting a discount on the photographer and transportation and things like that.  Tell them you referred them!  after all it is your Future Sister-In-Law.  One good thing can come from this!!!

Post # 11
124 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe if she’s trying to copy you you could tell her “Omg! I just found this like, completely awesome new band!” and give her the info but don’t change your stuff.

Good luck keeping your cool. And yeah, she’ll obviously be the copy cat. 

Post # 12
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Don’t share any more plans with her!!!   Thank God her wedding is after yours!

Better not to stop talking about plans all together, but get her confused, talk about a lot of random stuff, things that are real and others that are just fake thrown in. 

Tread carefully at this point.   In the end just try to relax and have an awesome time, your energy will set the tone for the day. 

Post # 14
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t worry about them being the same. Each wedding has such a different feel to it based on the people who are getting married 🙂

Post # 15
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@flygirlusa:  Here’s my suggestion, and it’s evil.  Could be construed as malicious.

LIE to her.  Here’s two options:

Tell her the most horrible, awful ideas possible.  and let her do it.  She MIGHT figure out what you’re doing and shut up.  Maybe.

The other option is to tell her the exact OPPOSITE of what you really want.  You want black, tell her white.  You want green, tell her yellow.  You want blue with lavender, tell her yellow and brown or peach.  Just tell her what you DO NOT want and couldn’t stand.  That way, when she does it, you can just smile, nod, and gloat to yourself how easy she is to manipulate 😉


As for the vendors, technically they aren’t supposed to tell what other clients are doing without previous consent (I think).  You could also warn them and tell them to NOT give out any details and put that in the contracts, if you have to.  I’d personally go this route, just to spite her.  


so, so sorry you’ve gotta go through this.  good luck and I’m sure when people go to her wedding, they’ll realize she copied you two.  🙂 

Post # 16
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your wedding will be first…so she will look like the one that’s copying. I wouldn’t worry too much about it ! Focus on your own wedding. I wouldn’t give her any more details though… keep the planning to yourself and your Fiance.

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