Post # 1
I need some advice. My husband and I were renting for two years up until February 8th when we had a house fire (thank God for rental insurance!!!). Because of the severity of the house fire, we had to move back in with my parents in the mean time. We figured this would be a good time to start looking at purchasing a home since we were going to start the process this Spring/Summer anyways.
Got preapproved in February – have since look at 17 homes in person…yes…17 homes. We found a house we both loved and put an offer in on it – but after going back and forth with the seller (flip investor) where he wouldn’t budge – we walked away.
I keep reading about people closing on their homes, ladies here at work who find their home after 5th home looking at – and I just get HOPELESS.
I know it is my husband and I that is the problem. He has a different budget in mind than I do (his is higher), I don’t mind living in the city and he is kind of stuck on living in the country since he was raised a country boy.
Can anyone offer any advice on how to get on the “same page” with your spouse? I feel like it is causing a strife between us because he likes a house and I don’t and then I like a house and he doesn’t…. UGH!
Help me Bees 🙁
Post # 3
Yikes! Thankfully you had the renters insurance and no one was hurt!
What did you both like about the house you made an offer on? Focus on those aspects.
Are there any suburbs that give you the city-feel but let your SO get his countryside fix as well?
Post # 4
For the budget, sit down and look at what you’re spending now. Will your spending change much when you have a house? Figure out what mortage payment you are both comfortable with, and also consider things like taxes and maintance. Hopefully that will help you compromise on the budget a bit.
17 house doesn’t sound like a lot to me. Darling Husband and I aren’t seriously looking, but we’ve looked at over 10 show homes in the past week (it helps that they are in the same community though, so it didn’t take up too much time).
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Honestly, it took us 7 months of actively looking and probably 40-50 viewings before we found a house that we both agreed on with a seller that was reasonable. It can be an incredibly frustrating and disheartening process. All of the house buying shows on HGTV lie! Hang in there, keep looking, keep the lines of communication open with your hasband, take a hard look at your budget and future goals ( to decide whether or not you can afford to buy at a higher price point and still achieve those other goals), and take it all day by day. The right house will come along eventually.
Post # 6
Fiance and I were looking for our first house for about a year. It was a little annoyinga nd stressful because I kept getting disheartened… so I was super excited about house hunting then after seeing so many bad houses and getting offers rejected I hit a slump and just lost interest. They way we dealed with it was only looking on weekends. We both ha=ve Sundays off work so we spent the afternoons on the net looking for suitable houses and then going to some open inspections. We also got our parents involved (I don’t know how independent you guys like to be) but it was really good to get their opinions and see what they had to say because they had already been through the house dramas already lol. It takes time.. as you know you will see a lot of horrible houses and then you will see a lot of amazing houses that are a little too expensive for your budget…. It’s all luck in the end.
In relation to your SO having different ideas to you.. the way I have dealt with it is just talking about my thought and ideas and why I think they are good (without sounding bossy/superior). It is a tricky situation but my Fiance uase to have once idea.. then he would listen to mine and then I guess he would think about it and decide my idea was better lol THANK GOODNESS lol.
Good luck with everything!! 🙂
Post # 7
Wow, that’s awful about the fire.
We looked at close to 30 houses before we found the one we bought. All the others were kind of meh… And I was getting a bit discouraged but then we found the perfect house and we both fell in love the second we opened the door.
Post # 8
Don’t give up, I could of written a post exactly like this (actually, I think I DID write one almost just like it) about a month ago, and was getting so discouraged seeing the other bees having better luck and closing on gorgeous homes, but Darling Husband and I did finally find something, and we’re thrilled with it. What helped me was to just keep reminding myself that there were lots of homes out there, but we just needed to find ONE that we loved.
However, I would advise that you stop looking until the two of you get on the same page, because there it would be terrible for one of you to fall in love with a home only to have the other person not like the area, be uncomfortable with the price, etc. And it sounds like you’ve already been experiencing some of that. My advise would be to make two lists – one of non-negotiables, things one of you feels you absolutely must have in your house. For us that was at least three bedrooms, an attached two car garage, and a newer home. Then the second list had things that would be nice to have but weren’t necessarily dealbreakers, like a basement.
We had budget issues too – I fell in love with a house that was about 50k over my DH’s ideal price point, and it definitely made the process harder. What I did was took the list of things we knew we absolutely must have, and pulled up houses in the areas we liked that had those features. Doing that gave us a pretty good feel for whether or not his budget was reasonable, and we ended up meeting somewhere in the middle.
Post # 9
The most depressing, accurate, helpful piece of advice I received when I was house hunting was, “When you feel so depressed about the process that you feel that you’ve literally seen everything available and you just want to give up – that’s when you’ll find your house. And it will be amazing.” Now, it doesn’t happen with everyone but it certainly happened with me. I am a glass half-full person who sees the potential in a skeleton and has no fear of home DIY but my husband is the exact opposite. Let’s just say that after looking at a million and one homes (most of which were fixer-uppers) and not agreeing about anything the PERFECT house appeared out of nowhere. We were the first viewer, bidder, and landed it in our price point. But it took a year of looking. So, don’t give up just yet. The perfect home is still waiting for you. 🙂
Is his budget higher because he doesn’t know what exactly it breaks down to monthly? Would you be house poor if you went with his price point? Are you setting your budget too low? Getting on the same page about that is incredibly important like everyone pointed out. Has he considered taxes, insurance, potential increased utilities, emergency repairs, furnishing and updating the home, being able to save?
Really, you should stop looking at homes till you can figure out where you stand financially and what you are comfortable spending. Because there is no point in seeing anything if you don’t know what you can really afford realistically, or aren’t comfortable spending what you are looking at spending. Maybe tell him that and choose to look again once you’ve come to an agreement. Chin up!:) You’ll find something.
Post # 10
Don’t lose hope. I can’t even begin to count how many houses we looked at in person before we finally found “the one”. We looked for close to 1.5 years! We couldn’t agree on a budget either, he also wanted to spend more. In the end though, when we found “the one” everything just lined up. So don’t give up!