(Closed) Will you force your child(ren)to college?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Will you force them?
    Yes (why) : (153 votes)
    23 %
    No (why) : (213 votes)
    31 %
    My having gone to college sways this : (177 votes)
    26 %
    My having gone to college does not sway this : (87 votes)
    13 %
    Other (comment!) : (22 votes)
    3 %
    My having NOT gone to college sways this : (19 votes)
    3 %
    My having NOT gone to college does not sway this : (8 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 4
    3695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Force?  No.  Strongly encourage, especially if they want to pursue a career in a field where a degree is actually required?  Yes. 

    Post # 5
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I voted other because I simply can’t force them (and I won’t), but I will STRONGLY suggest that they do!

    After all, my job may not be in the field I went to for my degree, but my job requires A degree of some kind!

    I think if my child has other talents and skills that do not require college education but could at least give them a decent career path, then I would not force the issue if they truly struggled with the idea of continuing their education. But I will encourage them to go and definitely lean toward the “yes you should” direction.

    Post # 7
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I will not sway them to college because I’m starting to really doubt whether college prepares folks for an increased chance of earnings or life in general. I have an advanced degree and I often wonder if the opportunity cost of those years of education were worth the cost.  With the rising cost of college, the biggest benefit in hindsight was the independence I gained and the friends I made. Now, all that is great. But, worth a mortgage? I’m not so sure.

    I think that I will push my kids to entrepreneurship and towards excellence and ambition in whatever they decide to do. 

    Post # 8
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I said yes I would force them. But pp is right, force is a strong word. I want my kids to make their own decisions but I also want to raise them in a household where it is assumed they will be attending university.

    I never did and it is probably my biggest life regret. Even if they don’t end up in a career that a degree is necessary for, I think the experience is really important. If they refuse to go to post secondary, I will make them get a full time job and pay all their own bills… including rent.

    Post # 10
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012


    I have an education fund if she does want to, but I will in no way make her go. I wasted $40,000 on a useless degree, so yes, my experience sways my answer. lol

    Post # 11
    7425 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I would strongly encourage it, but I don’t think it can be forced. Both DH and I graduated college.

    Post # 12
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Thank you for this thread – I was thinking about this very topic when I was on the blue collar/white collar thread.

    I voted “no.” As I mentioned on the other thread, I find college to be very overrated nowadays, and the real money/security is in the trades/skills. If my child came to me with a clear plan of what he/she wanted to do after high school that did not involve college, I would totally be on board with that. Why should he/she take on a ton of loans to study a major in which jobs will be outsourced in the next year (as so many IT and finance jobs are)?

    However, if they don’t have a plan, they will be forced to earn their keep by working and if they want, trying out some CC classes to see what they really want to do. Honestly, it really depends on the economy then and what will be in demand.

    Post # 15
    5422 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think this is very circumstacial.  If I were to have children I would not force them to go to college, assuming they had some other desire that wasn’t waste away at home trying to sponge off of me.

    Post # 16
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @BlushingBrideNYC:  I completely agree.  Having a degree these days really doesn’t necessarily guarantee a secure future.  Speaking anecdotally, of course.  So I wouldn’t force my kid in either direction.

    I will have college savings for my kid, but I won’t be funding any degrees that I don’t think are prudent.  I know people are going to jump down my throats for this, but I’m not spending thousands of dollars on a degree in art or theater or something like that. I just don’t think they’re worth the cost.

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