(Closed) Will you force your child(ren)to college?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Will you force them?

    Yes (why)

    No (why)

    My having gone to college sways this

    My having gone to college does not sway this

    Other (comment!)

    My having NOT gone to college sways this

    My having NOT gone to college does not sway this

  • Post # 32
    Member
    2086 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I agree that I will not force my children but will very strongly encourage it.  I would encourage them to have a well thought out plan for post-secondary education in advance. I went to a local college and dabbled in general studies before commiting to a feild I never gained employment in. 

    I was fortunate to fall into my “white collar” job with on-the-job training but feel I would have more options had I gone further in my education.  While I would never wish my children to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for an education I do feel there is more advancement opportunites for those who are certified/educated vs. those who are not. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I was a single parent who raised my daughter without her dad.  Though I have had some college (junior level), I do not have a degree.  I made good money because I was a legal assistant, but could have gone further in my career had I acquired that piece of paper.  I *strongly encouraged* my daughter to go to college, which she did immediately after high school.  Though she did obtain loans and grants, I supported her financially (with room, board, and necessities) while she was in college.  Six months after graduation, she was accepted into a special program and is now living and working in Japan.  One of their requirements was a minimum of a bachelor’s degree.  She wouldn’t be where she is now had she not completed her education. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    8035 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    No, I won’t force them. I was STRONGLY enouraged to go to university.. it was the only thing to do. We’re like the 4th generation of my family to go to uni.

    I didn’t enjoy university but I ended up with a good job. My sister on the other hand, was super into school and has a masters.. and can’t find a good job. Going to university doesn’t guarantee a job anymore.

    I think it’s a balance between pursuing passions and what you’re good at, while still considering earning potential and available jobs.

    As long as my kid is a hard worker and doing *something*, no it doesn’t need to be the standard 4-year degree. I don’t know what the world will be like in 20 years. I have given this some thought, but who knows what it’ll be like when my future child is at the age where university is an option. We will be saving for studies of some kind, though.

    Post # 35
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I went to college and won’t force my kids to go.

    Post # 36
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    The question is why they would want to go. If they are passionate about doing a job which can only happen by doing a vocational degree (medicine, engineering), then that’s fine. If they’re doing it to make more money… then I will strongly encourage them not to go. University costs so much nowadays, and a degree is so irrelevant because everyone has one.

    The older I get, the more I realise that getting a job is not about what you know, but who you know. I intend to encourage my kids to network aggressively, get lots of relevant work experience, and take an entry level job ASAP, if they can.

    If they have their heart set on university, I intend to encourage them to study in Europe, where university is cheaper, and many courses are in English.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4093 posts
    Honey bee

    @MrsPaperFlowers:  I said no, as I felt like I had to due to social pressure, and it was a huge waste of money. I had no idea what I wanted to do, and I think I wasted what could’ve been valuable time working and learning more about possible career paths. My DH did not go to college right away, and while it’s been difficult having him in school as an adult, he is way more focused, dedicated, and has a real career path now that he’s been out in the “Real world” for the past decade. I really would hope my kids would go right to school, but if they don’t have a clue what they’re passionate about, I would not be disappointed in them for deferring it for a few years until they figure out what they want.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1521 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MrsPaperFlowers:  yes they have to have some type of schooling even if its tech school. I’d prefer them to go away to college though. at the same time I will not let them waste time or money on degrees that will not further them. controlling? Probably. But I graduated college and i am back in school pursuing another career, so my decision is based on my experiences.   Education opens doors 

     

     

    Post # 39
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    @almostmrsj:  +1 I would strongly encourage school after high school, whether it’s a traditional  college environment or learning a trade. If they choose not to go, though, they will work if they want to stay under my roof. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1461 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I wasn’t “forced” but it was certainly expected. My mom and dad always used language like “when you go to college” not “IF”. It was also known that if you didn’t go to college you were not going to able to live in their house after high school. 

    It will likely be how I raise my children. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas

    Times have changed so much. You used to be able to get a job when you graduated college. Now you graduate and are often unemployed with huge student loans to repay. I would want me kids to do what it takes to be successful as well as happy. I don’t want them to end up with a huge financial burden and no job to show for it. If going to college is going to help them acheive success without too much financial burden I would want them to go, I would want them to consider other options too like vocational training or on the job training. It’s going to have to be a balancing act and they need to find what is going to be best for them.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1868 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I would encourage them to go, however, both my husband and I went to the same university. Our children will grow up going to football games and wearing our alma maters colors. They will know what a strong bond we have because of the college we went to and the experiences we had during that time. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t want to go when they grow up.

    On the other side of things… I have a sister who does not want to go to school and she doesnt. She is a waitress and I wish she would get involved in some kind of trade. It would be best to have a skill that she can apply later in life. I know she wont want to wait tables for her entire life. Sorry- I dont mean to offend those of you who wait tables. I did so for 7 years but I cant imagine doing it into my 50’s.

     

    Post # 43
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t think forcing someone into something is ever very productive. 

    But yeah, I’ll encourage my children to go to college throughout their life and hope they make the best decision for them. My husband and I both went to college and graduate school, so education is pretty important to us.

     

    Post # 44
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @Meant2Bee:  That is exactly the language I used with my daughter.  There are so many fields that require a *minimum* of a bachelor’s degree, regardless of major.  It’s a stupid requirement, but nonetheless, it’s a reality.  Several of my daughter’s friends are already in good careers, after graduation, or going the post-graduate route. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    11517 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I went to University (in Canada College is generally trade school).  I went because I wanted to and because I thought I had to.  I will strongly encourage my children to do some form of post secondary education.  I don’t care if they get a degree like FH and I did or if trade school is more their thing.  As long as they do what they need to in order to ensure that they’re able to support themselves and their families I really don’t care what they do (as long as it’s legal).

    Post # 46
    Member
    5184 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @MrsPaperFlowers:  I don’t plan to have kids, but…

    No, I would not force them to go to college. I was adamantly forced to go even though I didn’t have an intended career path. I changed majors 3 times before graduating. All my degree did for me was put me in debt. I don’t know what the job market is going to be like down the road from now but for a high school senior in 2014 I would probably discourage them from going to college right away. In fact, I would go so far as to say I regret going to regular high school instead of a vocational school. The only tangible job skills I have right now are the ones I got from my certifications at community college after the fact. I can either do my current job, be a receptionist, or work in retail (what I did in high school). 

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